Smartass Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

“What is funny?” “You’re so cool, so collected all the time, never showing who you really are. You don’t let any people close to you. I get it, you have a past, you have your secrets, more than most people. It’s funny that someone like you doesn’t realize that other people might have secrets, too.” “Atlas, I’ve no idea what you’re talking about, I think you’re drunk.” “I’m not drunk, I’m just disappointed, yet again, that my best friend keeps lying to me.”

embarrassed by my assumption. He smirked to himself and shook his head as if he was laughing at some inside joke. After a beat, he said, "I don’t make fat jokes. At least not normally. You just really pissed me off that day. I was already having a bad day and then you came at me full blast. Sorry about that." After a pause, he continued, "You actually have a really nice body if I'm being honest. It's too bad your personality doesn't match."

“With your bare ass on the leather seats. Sticking to the seat with your ass sweat. I love that.” Marley chuckled, “because you’re weird.” “You’re weird.” “I missed you, you know.” I gave my friend a side hug because we were both strapped in our seatbelts and couldn’t really hug properly. “I’m really glad you’re okay.” They smiled at me, “Thanks for saving me.” I shrugged, “no biggie. I’d rescue your sweaty ass any day.” I sat back, watching my friend as they looked out the window. “At least now you have a cool story to tell your mate when you meet them.” I joked.

emoji. The messages arrived at random times throughout the day. A photo of his coffee cup with the caption "Fuel for another thrilling day of capitalism." A link to an article about workplace productivity with the comment "Thought you might find this amusing." Simple things that somehow made even the longest days feel a little less lonely.

He smacked my ass as I walked to get the phone and I rolled my eyes, "keep trying to make it flatter than it already is." He loved it when I made jokes about my ass and the good thing I wasn't ever going to stop. "I love you." "I love you more."

She says with a smile. Cassandra immediately remembers these words, since she's the one who said it first to this loser. "Come on now, you should not get mad over some small prank, right? Or else people will look at you like some lunatic fuming over a small joke. We all should have fun and chill." Cassandra says after she pours vinegar on Jaiyana's food and tosses it into her uniform.

I pondered for a moment, then typed, "The one where we're laughing at that silly joke you made. Your smile is my favorite." Her reply was swift, "I remember that! You have the best laugh." I chuckled at her words, "Well, you have the best jokes. It's a perfect match." The conversation flowed effortlessly, a dance of words that mirrored the rhythm of our connection. As we continued chatting, the miles between us seemed to vanish. She shared anecdotes from her day, and I found solace in the sound of her virtual laughter. I couldn't help but tease her, "You know, our photos don't do justice to your laughter. I miss hearing it in person."

" 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒂 𝒃𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒈𝒖𝒂𝒓𝒅 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑳𝒐𝒍𝒊𝒑𝒐𝒑𝒔 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕 , 𝑰𝒄𝒆 𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎 𝒊𝒔 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝑭𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 " - UNKNOWN QOUTES - ZI ARA " 𝒘𝒐𝒐𝒐𝒐𝒉𝒉𝒉, 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒃𝒍𝒆 " 𝒇𝒂𝒏𝒔 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒎.

I snort. What a cliché quote some or other happy drunk motivational speaker concocted when he was at a loss for words. It must be the same asshole who suggested grabbing life by the horns, that winners never quit, and that everything happens for a reason. “Well, keep on dreaming, girl.” Cause that dream is not gonna happen. Luckily, that’s Axel’s shit. Not mine. I fake a smile, “Cheers!” and throw the alcohol down my throat before I bite into a piece of lemon. The sour taste causes goosebumps on my skin.

" No... Actually I don't know... Are you mad ? " " Why would I be mad, it's not like your planning on stealing my girl " I teased her she laughed and then she stared at me " What " I asked her " I guess your not such an asshole after all " " Hey how dare you how many times have you called me an asshole today do you want to lose you job" She laughed " No sir I don't, and I'm glad your not feeling so gloomy anymore "