Smartass Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

Its official, he is an asshole. Happy reading 📖 Asmita 💜

“You do realize that is exactly what I am, right? Like literally a teenager.” “Shut up, smart ass. Go run and show us all how wonderful you are at it.” “Now who’s the smartass?”

Samuel could always crack the lamest jokes in the most monotone voice. The chat was laughing. [LOLOL. Professor Grant, you know your metaphors! I like crazy boyfriends!] [So, those four idiots were harassing Layla, and she should let a mad dog loose to deal with them? LMAO. The chaos! I love it!]

“If I choose the job, I obviously can’t go back to my mom, though?” It took her few seconds before she sighed. “Yeah, it makes sense. Sorry, I got it from p*******t and thought it was a cool quote.” I bite my lip to stop myself from laughing. But failed miserably as she made an eye contact with me. I cracked up to the point she throws the sofa cushion right onto my face. “Shut up.” “It’s a cool quote, though.” “Fuck off.”

Message: Reschedule them. Me: With them or with you? Message: Your sense of humor is pretty lame. Me: Well, I thought it was funny. Message: Me: Message: "It's going to take a lot more than that to mend this broken heart." Me: Oh, come on. Me: I'll be there after 8. Message: Well, what do you know? I'm magically healed. Me: Lame. Message: With a fantastic ass. Me: Well, I won't argue with that.

“What is funny?” “You’re so cool, so collected all the time, never showing who you really are. You don’t let any people close to you. I get it, you have a past, you have your secrets, more than most people. It’s funny that someone like you doesn’t realize that other people might have secrets, too.” “Atlas, I’ve no idea what you’re talking about, I think you’re drunk.” “I’m not drunk, I’m just disappointed, yet again, that my best friend keeps lying to me.”

said asshole remarks as he comes up to us. Asshole. “Can you?” I ask sarcastically. “Hmm.” “Well, polite company would suggest that you pretend not to have heard.” “First of all,” he responds. “You are not polite company and secondly, even if you were, I wouldn't care.” “Asshole.” “Dick.” “Mosquito.” “Mutt.” Ouch That is fair. I literally walked into the one. “Such mature men, you two are,” Lucas snarks at us from his position, eyes closed in exhaustion.

embarrassed by my assumption. He smirked to himself and shook his head as if he was laughing at some inside joke. After a beat, he said, "I don’t make fat jokes. At least not normally. You just really pissed me off that day. I was already having a bad day and then you came at me full blast. Sorry about that." After a pause, he continued, "You actually have a really nice body if I'm being honest. It's too bad your personality doesn't match."

“With your bare ass on the leather seats. Sticking to the seat with your ass sweat. I love that.” Marley chuckled, “because you’re weird.” “You’re weird.” “I missed you, you know.” I gave my friend a side hug because we were both strapped in our seatbelts and couldn’t really hug properly. “I’m really glad you’re okay.” They smiled at me, “Thanks for saving me.” I shrugged, “no biggie. I’d rescue your sweaty ass any day.” I sat back, watching my friend as they looked out the window. “At least now you have a cool story to tell your mate when you meet them.” I joked.

emoji. The messages arrived at random times throughout the day. A photo of his coffee cup with the caption "Fuel for another thrilling day of capitalism." A link to an article about workplace productivity with the comment "Thought you might find this amusing." Simple things that somehow made even the longest days feel a little less lonely.