Smartass Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

”Oh to be sandwiched between these male specimen, I would die happy” “Are you mad?” I asked but I was laughing. “For the right amount of dick, I say lock me in the psych ward and throw away the key baby” **

"This makes it the more reason why I should keep wearing those blue contact lenses." Chloe laughed again. "No, no. Those eyes are beautiful." I smiled. What she said have affected me emotionally. In a good way, of course. I just don't know how to describe it. "Thanks." ### "Do you think that Ashton's ever going to stop being an asshole?" I asked, my fingers trying to get used to the controller I was holding. "Once an asshole, always an asshole." Joshua chuckled. "Credit me for that quote please." "Sure." I sighed when Joshua has beaten me for the millionth time. "Dude, I'm so done." Joshua laughed as I stood up and brush myself off.

“Smartass.” “I try,” I said, laughing. I walked out of the office as Frank followed and locked it up. “What’s going on?” Frank shook his head. “Not until you have a drink in you.” I stopped in front of the elevator. “That good, huh?” “Better.” “Oh, dear.” Frank laughed as he stepped into the elevator. “I’ve missed you.” I burst out laughing. “You just saw me yesterday!” “No. I mean this you … the old you.”

Diya also joined them and sat beside Swaroop. "In the competition of finding relatable quotes for every situation which conveniently allows u to get away with ur faults nd reduces the guilt with self pity and all of sudden u behave as a victim ..... Actually such quotes wipes the real u in u ..... So sorry I am not follower of all of them but some old, deep quotes are still my fav" she said thoughtfully because she is really bored with stories on i*******m where almost everyone puts such quotes to get away with their deeds. "Umm not always ..... Some of them can be really relatable" Diya said.

After Jessica recovered, she smiled, "Who knew he had it in him to crack funny jokes, Mr. Hemsworth?" He arched a brow up and replied teasingly, "Who said I was joking, though?" Jessica smiled and shook her head, "Oh My, It has been a long time since I laughed that hard. Thank you for that." Mr. Hemsworth nodded in response, patting her shoulders, "We all need some good laughs even in the midst of dire situations; laughter, they say, is medicine for the soul." "You are right," Jessica responded as she glanced at her wristwatch, "now I better get going. I have a husband to take care of and a speech to prepare," she added in high spirits.

"If this is a joke, I'll be bummed out. I like your name." “I don’t just screw with guys the first moment I see them.” Sassy. Yes. "Especially after they spill hot coffee all over my shoulder and try to give me third-degree burns. I'm not a masochist, ya know?” “Well, that’s good to know.” His bemused face was on the edge of giving us away as we silently whispered back and forth. "It's a pleasure to know that you don't derive pleasure from pain." “Why is that?” I bit my lip slowly and evasively. "Why is it such a pleasure?"

4 Years Later (Automated Siri voice: "April 2019") Ava's POV "You know how biased you are?" I rolled my eyes at Arun, who looked back at me with an exaggerated pout. "Nope, I only have one ass," he said smugly, glancing over his shoulder. "God, you really need to follow better meme pages," I replied, crinkling my nose. "You're just jealous of my timing," he quipped, puffing out his chest.

After all, how could he compare to my family, a top-tier dynasty? I gave a cold laugh. "This is real. Even in another ten years, you still won't be able to afford it." The moment those words left my mouth, Marlene picked up a glass of water and threw its contents straight at my face. The ice-cold liquid, along with a slice of lemon, drenched me from head to toe. Marlene arrogantly set the empty glass back on the table. "All this talk just means you can't afford to pay me the two thousand dollars, right? I'll make you an offer.

“If I choose the job, I obviously can’t go back to my mom, though?” It took her few seconds before she sighed. “Yeah, it makes sense. Sorry, I got it from p*******t and thought it was a cool quote.” I bite my lip to stop myself from laughing. But failed miserably as she made an eye contact with me. I cracked up to the point she throws the sofa cushion right onto my face. “Shut up.” “It’s a cool quote, though.” “Fuck off.”

Message: Reschedule them. Me: With them or with you? Message: Your sense of humor is pretty lame. Me: Well, I thought it was funny. Message: Me: Message: "It's going to take a lot more than that to mend this broken heart." Me: Oh, come on. Me: I'll be there after 8. Message: Well, what do you know? I'm magically healed. Me: Lame. Message: With a fantastic ass. Me: Well, I won't argue with that.