Story Critique Example

“พี่บูม จะไปไหนเหรอคะ?” “มีนัด ถามทำไม” “คือ…หนูมีไปออกค่าย สะ…สองวันคะ” “แล้วฉันจำเป็นต้องให้ไปมั้ย?” “ถ้าไม่ไป…รุ่นพี่ก็จะไม่ให้หนูผ่านกิจกรรม…ค่ะ” “แล้วแต่!” “ขอบคุณค่ะ” “เดี๋ยว! เธอจะไปไหน?” “พอดีพี่ๆที่คณะนัดให้ไปคุยงานค่ะ” “ที่ไหน??” “XX PUBค่ะ” “ว่าไงนะ!” “พี่บูม!!! อื้อออ” ชายหนุ่มรั้งร่างเล็กเข้าไปกดจูบ ก่อนจะขบเม้มลงบนซอกคอเธอจนเกิดรอยแดงราวกับว่าทำความเป็นเจ้าของเธอแบบนั้น “จะได้รู้ตัวไว้ว่าเธอเป็นของฉัน!”

เมื่อความสนุกคึกคนองจนทำให้ก้าวพลาดทำลายชีวิตผู้หญิงตัวเล็กๆคนนึงอย่างไม่รู้ตัว เมื่อผลของการกระทำเผยออกมาในรูปแบบของเด็กน้อยตาดำๆที่ไม่รู้อิโหน่อิเหน่ เมื่อพ่อไม่ได้รักแม่ และแม่ไม่รู้จักพ่อ เรื่องราวความดราม่าในความรักจึงเกิดขึ้น

ฉันกุมความลับของเธอแล้ว ดูท่าเธอจะหนียากสักหน่อยนะ ฉันมันพวกเกลียดการโกหกซะด้วยซิ เธอจะไปไหนไม่ได้จนกว่าฉันจะสั่ง!

เมื่อความรักอยู่ในความลับ และความลับก็ซ่อนอยู่ในความรัก หัวใจของเรื่องนี้จะจบที่ตรงไหน

Smart and feisty Nikki is the daughter of the pack's female lead Warrior. Devilishly handsome and kind Frankie is the Alpha Heir of the Cold Moon Pack. Nikki has a crush on Frankie but she is not on his radar, yet. Frankie is looking for his Luna. Recently their pack is experiencing an increase in rogue attacks. So when they are thrown together in pack training, Frankie quickly learns that Nikki can pack a punch. A simple critique leads to that 1st touch and the chemistry is sizzling. Does this budding romance stand a chance against death, deceit, and an indecent alliance proposal? Will Nikki get her man? Has Frankie found his Luna? Only time will tell if this couple will be blessed by the Moon Goddess or destroyed by lies and betrayal.

Olivia attended a wedding. The groom was her childhood best friend who she hadn't seen in years. The wedding stopped when he confessed he was in love with someone else. Worse still, he walked to Olivia and put his hands on her belly, "It's okay, honey. I will take care of you and our baby. " Olivia: WTH? What baby? ___ Back to pack, Olivia attends her long-lost friend's wedding, only to be stunned when he declares his love for someone else—her. And he insists they have a baby together. But Olivia is left questioning everything. In this gripping tale of love and betrayal, Olivia must uncover the truth amidst a web of secrets. Discover the unexpected twists that will change Olivia's life forever in this captivating story of love, friendship, and the baby she never saw coming ……

Carl Anderson doesn't show up for our engagement party. I finally find him in a bar's private room after night has fallen. "I only think of her as a sister. Who would've expected her to want to latch onto me like that? There's no way I'll marry her in this lifetime!" He downs his drink. Later, when he and Angela Moran get married, he tells his friends to stop me at the entrance. He's afraid I'll crash his wedding and ruin it. "Keep an eye on Iris, guys. Don't let her crash the wedding!" he says. As soon as the words are out of his mouth, I show up with Henry Moran. "Don't even dream of stepping in there, Iris!" Carl looks at me warily. "You're so rude! You have to call her Aunt Iris now!" Angela greets me warmly and leads me inside.

The day before New Year's, my younger brother announced he was bringing his girlfriend home for dinner. Excited, I drove my new car to pick them up, taking my daughter along with me. However, as soon as his girlfriend got in the car, her face darkened. "Henry, you didn't tell me your sister was staying at your place—and with a kid!" she snapped. I frowned and was about to explain when my brother quickly interjected, "She's not staying. After dropping us off, she'll be heading to a hotel." Only then did his girlfriend's expression ease. I swallowed my discomfort and asked my brother what he was planning. He leaned in with a conspiratorial grin and said, "Sis, don't cause any trouble for me, okay? My girlfriend is the daughter of the Cromwell Group's CEO!" My eyes widened in shock. Was not the Cromwell Group the same company my ex-husband had just handed over to me as part of our divorce settlement?

Calvin and I had been married for seven years. While packing up some clothes, I found a cheap lighter in the pocket of his jacket. Everything he wore, from the inside out, had been carefully chosen by me to highlight his refined taste and status. However, in that girl’s Twitter photos, he looked like a college boy, dressed in cheap clothes and wearing a digital watch that cost only a few dollars while kissing her. Using a throwaway account, I casually liked the post and commented, "A perfect match." Then, I turned to Calvin and said, "How did I never realize you had such a thing for bargains?"

I'm severely allergic to many things, so my husband buys a separate villa for me. It's supposed to be sort of a nursing home. When my future daughter-in-law learns about this, she thinks my son is cheating on her. She breaks my bones to vent her anger. When she finds out I'm her future mother-in-law, she caresses her belly and looks at me smugly. "I'm already pregnant with Shawn's child. Think about whether you want this child to make it into this world." What she doesn't know is that the Ziegler family's fortune belongs to me and that Shawn Ziegler is only my adoptive son.