Twisted Funny Dark Quotes Novels & Stories

Noah flinched, “Well, let’s look at the bright side… at least he didn’t vaporize himself.” Blackie snorted, “…he can’t vaporize himself any more than you can soothe yourself.” “Oh. Well… at least he didn’t vaporize the water he’d already drunk?” “Yeah, good thing that one finely steamed stomach wasn’t on the menu…” “…Blackie …I realize that black humor fits in well with your name… and personality… but there is such a thing as being too black!” QAQ (≖_≖) “Is that a veiled insult where you tell me that I shouldn’t be myself, Black?”

“Don’t be so freaked out. They won’t kill you unless they can think of an amusing way to do it.” “This guy,” said a troll leaning against the tunnel wall trying to get his breath. “He gets it.” “That wasn’t funny,” I said, somewhat annoyed at being driven to the point of hysteria by these knuckleheads. “This is hardly the time or place for your gags.” The trolls continued to rock with laughter. “Can’t think of a better one,” said the one who’d been covered in blood. He wiped a quartz tear from his face. “Your face... priceless.” He burst out laughing again. It sounded like a hallway full of doors slamming shut one after the other.

His witty remarks, laced with sarcasm, hang in the air, momentarily lightening the heavy atmosphere of the dungeon. I engage in a brief exchange of words with Tyler, our conversation punctuated by his dry wit and dark humor. He uses jokes as a shield, deflecting the severity of our predicament. The irony isn't lost on me; while I pity his situation, he seems oddly detached, finding solace in jests even when the reality of our captivity looms over us.

Axel: And you're sure you made no mistakes? Hyce: Do I look like a fuçking kid? Axel: That's fuçked up, and Banks kept it for this long? Hyce: Totally fuçked up, I hate that arsehole *rolling eyes emoji* Roonie: If hating me gets you coupons or free tickets, kept it up wanker. Hyce: When you die, "We lost a wicked motherfûcker" will be on your tombstone. Roonie: Add this... "He had a big dîck and used it damn well"

I unconsciously touched my throat. He chuckled and brushed my ear with his nose. "I won't....choke you dorogoy. I'll eat your cunt out till you can scream no more." I shuddered and immediately removed my seatbelt and got out. "You're a disgusting pig." I sneered at him. "More confessions for you." I twirled around.

"Niels? What's got your knickers in a twist?" ‌ Niels smirked, his bitterness twisting his words into something both defiant and amused. "Remember that charming lady who led us to this mess in the first place? Well, I've got a proposition for you, mate." ‌ And as he delved deeper into his plan, Niels couldn't shake off the irony of how their lives had taken such a twisted turn. Two men who once had nothing but contempt for each other were now united by a common goal, fueled by their shared resentment. Little did they know, their journey would be rife with unexpected twists and turns, painted with colorful conversations and laced with the bitterness of their pasts.

Jajajaja I_pooped ... 'Sksksksks' and 'jajajaja' is laughing? Will_the_devil Fr fr I_pooped Willy, stop! Quinn_beach I have tea I_pooped ... Not you too. Quinn_beach No, but fr, I have boiling hot spicy tea. Will_the_devil Spill it, sis I_pooped Oh my God, stop with those references or a girl is going to die here. Quinn_beach So, you guys remember Charlie, the man beach?

Life’s so unfair, man. “What does a spoon matter when we’re literally stuck in the middle of the woods with invisible monsters, shady, bad men and whatever else creeps around here? Can you please, for once, use your brain and kick some sense in the gear?” He whisper-hisses, so red in the face, he reminds me of a tomato. “You could join a casting for vegetable commercials looking like this,” I remark and laugh at the brilliant joke my brain just reacted. Shit, am I not the funniest guy out there? Look at me - sense of humor, looks, body and an impressive spoon collection, I have it all, damn it. No wonder my little vixen couldn’t deny me.

Tiffany planned the party and was also the chairperson of the planning committee. “Yeah, it's nice.” I replied and she chuckled before walking away. “I really wanna fuck you here.” Ryan whispered in my ear and immediately I felt my pussy get wetter. “Funny how that has always been my fantasy.” I replied in a whisper, licking my lips. “You're such a bad girl.” He said and I smiled. “Where exactly do you want to fuck me?” I asked, pulling him deeper into the dance floor. “We are going to fuck right here and I want you to moan loudly if possible louder than the silly noises from our dancing counterparts.”

he asked, his fingers circling around the tip of the glass of wine ​“Unfortunately” Dawson admitted ​Dubois dropped the glass and glared at Dawson ​“That daughter of yours is starting to get in my way, don’t you think?” he asked ​“I’m sorry about that, I’ll bring her to order” his gaze was fixed on the glass on the table ​Dubois laughed ​“You’re not usually like this. What makes you think you can call her back to order? Sooner or later, she’d be as dangerous as Moretti himself” he remarked