ทะเลล้อมจันทร์

I woke up with my throat burning and my stomach twisting. I barely made it to the bathroom before throwing up. My knees hit the cold floor as soon as I leaned over the toilet.

I grabbed the sink and pulled myself up, my legs shaking the whole time.

As soon as I stood up, I washed my mouth. After rinsing, I wiped my mouth while looking in the mirror. I stared at my reflection. My face looked pale like a ghost, and my lips were dry.

This had been happening every morning for more than a week now.

I already suspected what it meant. But I still needed to be sure. That was why I decided to go for a checkup today.

I placed a hand on my stomach without thinking, then quickly pulled it away, like someone might see, especially Arzhel. He went on a business trip last week, and I expected him to come home tonight.My phone buzzed.

Adrian. My childhood best friend who had just come home from New York. We reconnected last week, and now he was accompanying me to the clinic since I was not yet ready to tell Arzhel. I needed to confirm it first.

I was not even sure if the idea of me being pregnant with his child would make him happy. He might even scold me for being reckless instead. After our wedding day, he never treated me like his wife. I should not be disappointed about that. After all, I was just his maid’s daughter when he was still a kid. He only married me because his first love rejected him, to make her jealous, and so people would not pity him for being rejected. He married me, a decision I always felt he regretted.

I answered Adrian’s call.

“Hey, remember our appointment for today.” I could sense the excitement in his voice. He already mentioned how excited he was to be an uncle, even if we were not really sure if I was pregnant.

“Yeah, I’m going to get ready now.”

“Okay, I’m on my way now.”

We hung up after that.

***

“You’re six weeks pregnant,” the doctor said. “Everything looks normal so far, but you need to avoid stress.”

Her words echoed in my head. I kept staring at the monitor. I could see my baby. What a beautiful creature. My vision started to become blurry.  

A lot of thoughts were running in my mind right now, and the fact that the doctor told me to avoid stress made me anxious for thinking too much.

“Hey, it’s okay,” I heard Adrian say.

He was smiling, a kind of smile that was comforting. He wiped my tears. But more tears started to come out when it hit me that I should be here with Arzhel. But I was not sure if I would ever have a chance to be accompanied by him, because he would never have time for me, for us.

Before going home, Adrian asked me to eat with him.

We also did a little chitchat.

“How’s your girlfriend? She’s pregnant too, right?” I curiously asked. As far as I remembered, he mentioned having a girlfriend.

He smiled, but it did not reach his eyes.

“Yup. We broke up last week. She’s six weeks pregnant too.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” I genuinely said.

“I guess we’re both unlucky when it comes to love,” he joked.

We both laughed, then sighed after.

By the time I went home, it was already dark. I heard from the maid that Arzhel was already in his home office. I went to our room to put my bag down and hid the ultrasound in my drawer. Then I went downstairs to make him some tea, something I always did for him as his wife. As soon as I finished, I went back upstairs to his office.

“Is that for your husband?” my stepsister, Veronica, and Arzhel’s trusted assistant, appeared out of nowhere. She asked the question with a wide smile on her face. “I’ll bring it to him. I’m on my way to his office anyway.”

I tried to hide the irritation on my face. Since she came into our lives, she did nothing but try to steal my role as Arzhel’s wife. She did things that were not even part of her role as my husband’s assistant, preparing Arzhel’s food, clothes, and many other things that only a wife should do.

“Thank you, but I’m already on my way there, so I’ll handle it.” I did not wait for her response. I kept walking.

I felt her presence behind me.

Arzhel’s office walls were made of smart glass. They could be frosted or transparent, and they were currently transparent, so I could see him sitting at his desk, both eyebrows furrowed as he read a document.

He glanced in my direction as soon as I arrived, but he went back to whatever he was reading right away.

“I heard from the maid that you already arrived, so I made you some tea,” I said while smiling sweetly.

I quietly moved toward him and gently placed the tea on his table. He just kept flipping pages.

“If you need anything else, just call me,” I said with a smile he still could not see because he never bothered to pay attention to me.

I stayed there for a few more seconds, hoping he could at least say something. I did not care if it was just thank you. I would still be happy.

Instead, I saw his grip on the pen tighten. Then he looked up to meet my gaze. His face had no emotion, but I could feel how cold his aura was.

“Where have you been?”

His question caught me off guard. He never paid attention to me, and every time I went out, he never bothered to ask where I had been. So when Adrian accompanied me to the hospital, I did not bother to think of an excuse in case Arzhel asked me.

“I… um…” I gulped.

He kept looking at me, like he was waiting for my answer.

Veronica moved closer.

“Why bother to ask, Arzhel? She probably just wandered around,” she said, showing me a weak smile that I knew was fake.

She placed a folder on Arzhel’s table.

“Why don’t you check this instead? The Lexis Corporation signed the deal agreement.” There’s excitement in her tone.

Arzhel shifted his attention to the file.

I was not planning to hide the truth from Arzhel. I was just looking for the perfect timing. And I knew now was not the right time.

“Get out, Lia. I’m busy,” he said in a cold voice while his attention was on the papers.

I gulped. He could politely ask me to leave, but he always made sure his choice of words was something that would humiliate me, especially in front of my stepsister.

Veronica walked closer to me. She tapped my shoulder. She always did that, but I was not sure if it was to comfort me or humiliate me further, because I could always sense the hidden agenda behind her fake smiles.

I walked out quietly.

I came back to our room. I took the ultrasound and stared at it while holding my stomach.

“It’s going to be okay. I don’t know how, but everything will be okay.”