Bad Pick Up Lines Novels & Stories

“I do not understand. I followed the pattern to the letter. Why can I not construct my own pick-up line?” “I think it’s because you’re trying too hard,” Kate tried her best to be the professional Human Affairs teacher again and keep a straight face. “You’re using your logic too much and your line of thought is very predictable. Besides, no girl likes being called a suckerfish. That’s right. I know what a remora is. We studied symbiotic relationships in Bio.” “OK, OK. Let me try just one more time today. I think I will get it this time. Ready?”

I started reciting all the cringy, weird and perverted pick up lines I could think of, all the while watching the jerk King lose his cool. I put my hand over my heart to make my performance seem unfeigned, looking all touched and moved, a bit misty-eyed too. "DARLING, who'd have ever imagined you to be so naughty when you asked me if I sat in sugar because I've got such a sweet ass... I mean buttocks(I feared these primordials would mistake my ass for a donkey if I didn't enlightened them with the specifics). That I'm in all of your inappropriate..."

He chuckled at me. "I could have died out of heart attack, Idiot." I said clutching my heart which still haven't calmed down. "Since I'm having your heart , it's impossible for you to die Amore." He said the worst cheesiest line ever. "That's the worst ever pick up line I ever heard." Emily gagged at Liam. "At least I'm trying here." He said in a duh' tone "Man seriously I need to teach you how to impress girls." Aiden laughed at him.

I turned back to Tv before me as if it was the most important thing I'd ever seen. "Come on are you gonna ignore me, your best friend?" "Best friends don't ditch their friends in time of need" I spoke not turning to look at him. "I never ditched you" he said as I glared at him then turned back to my TV. Men why can't they admit when they're wrong? First him ditching me then dad and his constant ramblings and now Kristrin unintentionally calling me a bitch! Can't they see we woman are delicate and need care! No there such a bunch of dummies! I hate them!

The worst chat up line in history. That was the instant I threw a shoe at him. And found him adorable. He dropped to his knees, hands in the air, and exclaimed, “I’m so sorry! Shit! When I get nervous, I say the most inappropriate...Shit! How am I meant to talk sense when you look like that?” “Like what?” “A beautiful, hopefully very forgiving Goddess! Let me start over? No more shoes?” Stood in the room, my arms folded, another shoe of Cass’s ready to launch at him I’d not succumbed.

Kids these days! Simone was talking to Eva about some upcoming dance and I was chatting with them too until my fake boyfriend decided to text me and his cheesy pick-up lines instantly became much more exciting than the discussion of when and where to go shopping. Blackmailer- 'And lemme guess, now you feel awesome? Super amazing? Dance-all-through- the-night great?' I bit my lip, fighting a huge smile from spreading on my lips. 'No, I feel neutral. You aren't anything special.'

Every nerve in my body jumped. “You have the most beautiful blue eyes I’ve ever seen.” He must be drunk, or this must be his pickup line. I blinked at his words. He was just probably bored and wanted to waste his time with someone, and that poor someone was me for a moment, in this freaking break room. Great.

The sound of his laughter worked effectively in breaking the stare, "You couldn't be any more original? That one won't work on me!" She didn't know what he really meant and answered with a confused 'huh'. With eyes lowered to his feet and the ghost of a smile still evident on his face, he explained, "It's a very common pick up line you know." "That wasn't a pickup line! I meant genuinely!" Eira defended herself and even though she had been honest, her cheeks burnt for some unfathomable reason. Slightly annoyed, she exhaled a sharp breath and saw a frown form on Nate's face. Was he offended?

".....I think I'll get you handcuffs or maybe a sexy maid outfit or much better a sexy police officer uniform so you can definitely send me to jail for falling in love with you" This just went from flirting to extremely cheesy. Diane couldn't help but giggle. "Who taught you that?" She tried to suppress her laughter. "That's awful" Dario pouted " that was one of my best pick up lines" "And girls fall for it? I'm truly shocked" She folded her arms giving him a fake shocked look. "They always do " he boasted " I was the most chased after during my years in highschool and college" "I thought Ronnie was the most chased after in highschool?"