Big Joke Book Kill Tony Novels & Stories

I kicked the chair next to me hard enough to send it sideways. "Joking around? Then why don't you put your own names and numbers out there and sell yourselves?" I looked them dead-on, one at a time. "Cut the chatter. We're going to the dean's office. Or I'm calling the police." The air fell silent for a few seconds–then they burst out laughing. Tara lifted her chin and tossed her hair. "Even if you take it to my dad, what is he going to do, Sophie? Really?"

Tony, our supervisor, pushes the door almost knocking my teeth out. "Why are you both idling around?" He beckons at us. Tony is a short man with a tiny frame. Despite that, he has an insatiable appetite for big girls with big behinds. He compensates his lack of body build with a mouth full of dirty jokes. He is annoying as fuck and most of the times he knows no boundaries. "Let's keep working if neither of you wants to be selling..." He spanks Kelly and pinches her butt. "... This on the roadside."

While working overtime late into the night, I suddenly received a video from my wife. "Honey, there's a homeless man outside our door. I'm so scared!" In the video, a disheveled man was sitting outside my house. He occasionally muttered strange, unintelligible words. I immediately got permission to leave work and drove home, but on the way back, I got into a car accident. Only after I died did I learn the truth. It was a prank that had gone viral online. The footage of the homeless man had been generated using AI. What I never expected was that my wife's male best friend had taught her how to pull it off. They had even tampered with my car's brakes in advance. Worse still, the two of

“Eztli, maybe sit down. You’re shaking.” “Don’t treat me like I’m delusional,” I snapped, but even as I said it, I felt the unsteadiness in my knees. My stomach twisted in knots. Jonas stayed in the doorway. “So, what—you’re seeing ghosts now?” “Something’s wrong,” I said. “I—I saw him. He was smiling at me.” “Tony’s dead,” Jonas said bluntly. “You killed him. You want to talk about what’s wrong? Start there.”

Tony was right behind him as he spoke. "Did you just audibly say the word 'gasp' at me? Hahahaaaaaa, dork! Hmmm, might I suggest something else to be blown?" Tony couldn't help but crack a wide smile when he heard Dillon snort and chuckle. "For fuck's sake, haha! You did not! Ugh, raunchy 'dad jokes' now? Ahaha!" "Well, half-dad joke, haha." Tony grabbed Dillon's proffered hand and hopped down the last few feet of the incline onto the ground.

There was a short silence and you could tell most people in the crowd didn’t even understand what that meant, but Tony still burst into laughter as if he did. “Keep bragging for all I care,” he said between laughs. “If you really achieved that, I’d kneel and lick the bitch’s shoe.” The way he said it made my skin crawl, but instead of anger, I just laughed…a real, calm laugh that only irritated him more. I turned to Josh, and we shared a small look that said everything words couldn’t. He raised his brows and whispered, “Should we take that deal?”

Lade seemed interested. "It's a politician. If I give you the name, I'm sure you'll kill him," Leo laughed. Lade didn't. He just stretched out his hand and had Jay give him a jotter. No, not a jotter, a chequebook. He scrambled some things on it and tore it out.

“Shitty diapers. Leaky tits. Sleepless nights. The relentless screaming… I don’t miss those days, I tell ya.” “Were your leaky tits a big problem back then, were they?” It took a moment for Tony to process Colton’s comment before his laughter echoed through the quiet parking lot, his broad hand stretching across his stomach as he slapped Colton’s shoulder. “You’re a fucking smart ass, you know that?” “So I’ve been told.” The clunk of the front door halted their laughter, their gaze whipping backward but finding it abandoned. Tony’s brow furrowed, sucking back the last few drags of his cigarette. “Must’ve been a ghost.”

"If I hadn't looked, how would I have known that the person my fiance loves the most is his ex-girlfriend?" A flicker of guilt flashed through Jared's eyes, but he immediately blustered to cover it up. "It's just a joke between friends! Must you make such a big deal out of it? I swear, you're getting more and more unreasonable every day!" With that, he haphazardly stuffed the gift boxes back into his suitcase, picked it up, and stormed off to the guest room. All that was left was that cheap pair of pearl earrings lying alone on the floor.

The guards exchanged looks and nodded, though their expressions remained sour. "Neither of us was ever here," Jace said quietly, his voice dangerous. "Not me and not her. Got that, Tony?" Tony looked at the cash in his hands, then back at Jace. "I'm not sure. I might have seen some curly-haired brat run past me and cost me my tip from the Commissioner…" Jace's glare intensified. He pulled out more bills and handed them to Tony, biting out, "Fine. Here's your tip." "You know what?" Tony said immediately, happily pocketing the additional cash. "I don't know what's come over me these days. Imagine me—talking to thin air. I should probably see a shrink." Then he gave a very awkward wink.