Dad Joke Pick Up Lines Novels & Stories

If I had the energy to smack them, I would have done it, but alas, aside from being able to move my lips and fingers slightly, I feel like I’m completely bedridden. “Here, have some water. You must be thirsty as hell after all this time.” Somebody said before I felt a straw by my lips and with all the energy I could muster, I sipped and sipped. I must have been drinking a lot because I heard the sound of people coming in and one suddenly spoke. “Whoa, somebody’s about to create another desert.” I knew only Aspen would come up with such a terrible dad joke so I used up my energy to flip him off from the bed, which made everyone else laugh.

*** "Hey baby doll, aren't you tired? Because you've been running on my mind all night." I glared at him and looked away in annoyance. This won't work. This won't work at all. "Hey baby doll, cheer up, I heard you are good at algebra, can you replace my X without asking Y?" I could feel the edges of my lip curl slightly against my wishes. I tried to suppress my smile, but I was failing miserably. I had been mad at Brett for the past half hour but he waspractically telling me all the pick-up lines he knew and I could not help but smile.

, Kane tried to shut him up . But there was no shutting Josh up . He suddenly screamed as he checked the notifications on his phone . " I got three text messages this morning , all of them challenging me with lines very similar to pick up lines ", Josh told him . " I mean listen to this one ", he said and cleared his throat . " ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I WOULD LIKE NOTHING MORE THAN TO BEAT YOU TILL YOU ARE BLUE ". Kane cringed and they both laughed at this .

I say out loud Kyle growls and I laugh. "Oh come on honey. You know I love you but yours just couldn't do it for me today. There are five other men in here that I know work out daily and I needed something to fuel my day a little. And it wasn't like I was trying to lick chocolate off of them" I say smirking Dante looks at me and winks and I bust our laughing. "What?" Jace asks "Nothing just a inside joke" I say "Alright go spend some money. Do you have enough?" Dante asks

"Yeah, what if you fell in love with me?" "That's as impossible as life on Mars. You're not my type!" "Ewww, you're not my type either!" Annoyed, Jenna opened the potato chip snack that she had brought and 'byarrr' she spilled half of its contents onto the chair she was sitting on. Adam snorted loudly, "Reckless!" Jenna picked up the chips one by one and put them in her mouth while occasionally glancing at Adam who was looking at her with disdain. "When are we getting married?"

This is the most goals joke as long as I've heard. "You're kidding, right? I swear! That's funny. Wow! If you join to stand up comedy, I make sure you can be the winner." "Na," said Mommy quietly. Chiko still showing his smile. "I'm serious and this is not a joke. You can tell the difference too, right?" Shit!

“We could do that.” “I love it when they’re so confident.” I shook my head, taking a deep breath in a bid to regain my bearings. And to think that was the dumbest pick-up line I’d ever heard. He wiggled the five hundred dollar bill in front of my eyes. “Um, hello? I’m not playing.” “Fine,” I groaned, snatching the five hundred dollars from his hand. “I will bet five hundred dollars on not getting your disgusting cock anywhere near me tonight.”

i feel stupid making such a dum joke, guys just trying to be nice and i threaten him with marriage maybe my voice didnt portray it as a joke the way i intended. "yeh your probably right, listen dont go anywhere gimme a minute ill call you back". click the phone goes dead. i sat there staring at my phone. maybe he had a friend or a friend of a friend, im confused, i save his contact to my phone and wait. 6 minutes later his name lights up my phone. i answer "hey"

“You look like you need to cool off.” I arch a brow in amusement. “Oh yeah?” Judd narrows his eyes intently. “Definitely. You’re lookin’ hot, babe.” “Jesus,” I snort, chuckling. “Does that line actually work on girls?” He doesn’t get embarrassed that I called him out- his smirk just deepens as he finishes filling my cup with beer. “Usually. Though you must be one of those hard to get girls, huh?” I shrug, pulling back my full cup and bringing it to my lips. “Guess so.”

“Vale!" Shaking my head, I tried to control my laughter. “Her joke, not mine. She’s more crass than I am. She used to derail my dad so bad when he would slip up.” I mimicked my dads voice. “‘Why can’t see what I’m trying to do?’ ‘Because I can’t see you, nitwit.’ His whole argument would go out the window.” Jess laughed. “Christ. I don’t think I could have handled it.” “Seriously though, what are you doing up here?” I looked at her seriously.