Didn't We Almost Have It All Mga Nobela at Kwento

he said quietly. My chest tightened. “They’ll always need us,” I replied. He looked at me. “Not like before.” I walked closer, resting my hand on his cheek. “That’s not loss,” I whispered. “That’s success.” His expression softened. “We did okay,” he said. I smiled. “We did more than okay.” That evening, we gathered on the terrace the same place where Alexander and I had once rocked babies to sleep under the stars. Now those babies were men, laughing over drinks, teasing each other, debating careers and plans.

“Ruth, almost three months natin pinaghirapan ang proposal na ‘to.” Napatawa ako nang mahina. Totoo naman. Halos wala na kaming matinong tulog noong mga nakaraang linggo dahil sa revisions at planning. “At hindi tayo puwedeng magkamali,” dagdag ko habang seryoso nang tumitingin sa presentation files. “Kapag natalo tayo rito, malaking opportunity ang mawawala.” Tahimik sandali si Zahra bago siya ngumiti nang may kumpiyansa.

Naghanap na kami sa kung saan saan pero hindi namin siya mahagilap. I guess this really ends. My relationship with a person I once chose to keep.

Dito ay wala rin masyadong kabahayan at puro mga damo at puno lamang ang nakatayo katulad nang pinanggalingan namin kanina. Ang akala namin ay makakahinga na kami ng maluwag dahil nahanap na namin sila, pero hindi pala. Napanganga at nanlaki ang mga mata namin nang tuluyang makalapit sa pwesto nila Damon. All of us were taken aback and some of us even collapsed on their knees and started to cry.

Pero mukhang walang pakialam si Nier dahil hinatak niya pa rin ako papalapitsa motor. Wala akong ibang nagawa kundi ang sumimangot na lamang at pakalmahin ang sarili ko. Umangkas na ako sa motor, at bago pa man niya paandarin 'yon ay mayroon siyang sinabi na nakapagpaganda ng mood ko. “We're almost there... you can have everything that you wanted to eat once we arrived, so don't worry.” — And just like he said—ay talagang makarating na kami sa destinasyon namin.

Ngumiti naman ako, “Come. Let’s go back out there. Tonight is not over, and I won’t let them ruin what we have.” I nodded, and then we left that room holding hands. ***

May magandang plano pa nga sana ako, pero nakita na niya ‘yong kuwintas na itinago ko. Well, I should have secured it even more. I should have kept it in me, habang nandito siya sa condo ko. Actually, I already forgot about it because I was busy with her. Mag-iisip pa ba ako ng ibang bagay kung sa kanya pa lang ay kuntento na ako? Adding to it was the fact that we almost made love during the dawn.

sabi niya sabay abot ng tuwalya. Kinuha ko iyon at mabilis kong pinunasan ang sarili ko. “Neil, we can’t do this. We’re not supposed to be like this anymore.” “I know. Pero hindi ko mapigilang maalala. We were perfect together, Ella.” “Perfect? Really? If we were perfect, hindi mo sana ako niloko. Hindi mo sana itinago ang condition mo. You didn’t trust me.”

Nasa ilalim kami ngayon ng malalabong at matataas na puno. Wala akong ideya kung saan ba talaga nila ako dadalhin. Hindi naman ako nakaramdam ng kaba. Wala naman siguro silang balak na kidnapin ako ano? Wala rin naman silang makukuha sa akin. “We are almost there…” Thana said. Tumango lang ako at ilang minutong biyahe lang ay tumigil na rin si Thana. Patingin-tingin ako sa paligid, dahil wala akong makitang bahay.

Matagal na. We’d been playing our own version of Traumerei all along – dreaming our way into love, note by note, day by day. And now, finally, we were both awake to it.