Funny Christian Jokes And Stories 소설 & 이야기

“You were going to read that cryptic, old-ass, dusty-ass spellbook like some... like some cryptic nerd!” “Its not a spellbook and I am not a cryptic nerd!” I gasped, indignant. Christian laughed, an actual, real laugh that made his whole face light up for a second. "Oh you absolutely are. You’re the kind of person who reads a warning carved into a wall in Latin and says, ‘Hmm, I should read more.’” I bit my cheek, trying not to smile. "And you’re the kind of person who’d hear a noise in a haunted house and say, ‘Must be the wind,’ right before getting eaten."

Not completely, but enough that I found myself laughing at Christian’s dumb jokes again. He was telling Lydia about some ridiculous fight he and his brother had as kids, acting it out with so much exaggeration that Lydia had to set down her fork because she was laughing too hard to chew. “Christian, you are lying,” she said, tears in her eyes. “I swear, Grandma! He cried like a baby. Over a scratched toy car.” Lydia shook her head, chuckling. “You two nearly burned down the kitchen once, and you want me to believe he cried over a toy car?”

“You have called me stupid on multiple occasions, told me I lack brain cells and what else.” “It was all a joke!” Christian defended his actions, but maybe if he never made those jokes in the first place, we wouldn’t have been here. “And I’ve never laughed, not once,” I told him. “Jokes are supposed to be funny.”

Christian beams at me with that dazzling, all too white, cosmetically enhanced grin, looking a little Calvin Klein model with the way he’s leaning in. “Sure. I trust you. As long as it’s not sushi! I do not like raw fish.” I frown and mock throw up with fingers down my throat in his general direction. Jenny giggles at me with an adoring expression that makes her seem cutely juvenile. “Ewww no … I prefer meat to fish! I can swallow that all day long, bitches.” Christian sasses with a dirty wink and both Jenny and I eye roll and grimace at his filthy joke. Sometimes Christian is shameless and just likes to shock.

I broadened my smile. " It sounds like an interesting story. " his mother encouraged. " But…” " Davis, just let the girl tell the story. Nothing will be as embarrassing for you as her threatening to kick the ass of a guy twice her size while you watched in silence," someone quipped, drawing laughter from everyone at the table. Ignoring Christian's gaze on me, I turned to his parents, collecting the story in my mind, thinking of the most embarrassing points to highlight. " Actually, Christian helped me one day when I was run over by a troglodyte playing soccer in the middle of campus," I began.

I said pointing my fingers at who was laughing at what I said. " I am the God of Lovelife so if you want to have one, you are welcome to worship me," Christian said feeling proud. " How could a God of love life doesn't have love life haha," Carl said teasing Christian. " it's because I was busy making couples haha" " or the God itself was a jinx haha" Xander joined in. " Why did I end up getting bullied?" Christian said shaking his head and we all just laugh at it. " You asked for it haha" I said shaking my head which he just laugh it off.

That evening over dinner, Marcus started telling embarrassing stories of Christian that he told him. “He was five,” Marcus said, grinning. “Trying to shift for the first time. Got stuck halfway and ran around the pack house looking like a weird wolf-boy hybrid, howling for his mom.” I nearly choked on my water from laughing. Christian's face was bright red. “Marcus, I swear to God—” “And when he was sixteen? Tried to be all mysterious and brooding. Just looked constipated most of the time.” “I hate you,” Christian muttered, but I could see him fighting a smile.

“Literally.” Christian’s expression gentled. “That’s… rough.” “It made me grow up fast,” I said “Embarrassingly fast.” A ghost of a smile curved his mouth. “I can relate.” We drifted back into conversation the way you wade into water. Slowly. Carefully. He told me stories about his father’s philandering habits, about siblings who arrived like unexpected announcements, about holidays that felt like negotiations instead of celebrations. The humor he used felt like armor—polished from years of practice.

Christian furrowed his brows at my comeback. "Did you just compare me with that murderer ?" Christian yelled probably getting the attention of passerbys. "You're not a murderer ?" I questioned then realized Christian hasn't actually murdered a soul according to my knowledge. He's tortured people and probably made people opt for suicide but he hasn't once killed them, he finds that boring or too much work.

Christian stood in front of him "I will not let you win. End of the day the success will be mine" James said Christian smiled arrogantly and spoke up, "Some people dream of success, while other people get up every morning and make it happen. And I am among of the others. You challenged me that even if I used my brain to the last limit you will win the deal. Now did you see the results? I did not even use my brain but still, I manage to win. So, if you do not want to make yourself a fool in front of everyone don't poke me. Don't try to wake up the beast in me or you will burn"