Funny Girlfriend Joke

Ellyn Perez has an incurable disease: a massive H-A-T-E for cheaters because of what her ex-boyfriend did to her. She isn't planning on avenging until she stumbles upon a devil who will claim what her heart really wants: sweet revenge and peace of mind—Red Sarmiento, her ex’s cousin. Could this be a huge wild turn?

Serena Alcaraz lives a life of survival working as a waitress, struggling to pay bills, and taking care of her sick mother. She has no time for love, especially not for arrogant, rich men who think the world revolves around them. Enter Damian Cruz, the cold and ruthless billionaire feared in the business world. To stop his family from pressuring him into marriage, he needs a woman who won’t fall for him, someone he can control. When his path crosses with Serena, he sees the perfect candidate. Damian offers her a deal, pretend to be his girlfriend, live in his luxurious world, and in return, he’ll give her enough money to save her mother. Serena knows it’s dangerous to get involved with a man like him, but desperation leaves her no choice. What begins as a cold arrangement slowly turns into something neither of them expected. The poor waitress who wanted nothing from him suddenly becomes the only woman Damian can’t let go of. But in a world full of power, lies, and family expectations, will their fake relationship survive when real feelings start to blur the line between love and the deal?

Herbie was subconsciously self-sabotaging his relationship with every famous, beautiful, successful girl he's been with. When the relationship seemed to be going well, he'd find one little detail that would be enough reason to break-up. It could be that she's too clingy or too busy, to the trivial ones like having long fingernails or having eyes that are too big or too small. That's because in that tiny little space in his heart he kept a secret. He's got this huge crush on his next-door neighbor for what seems like forever. For ten years they were neighbors, for ten years he was content just stealing glances. Not that he didn't know her. She's his ex-girlfriend's sister! On their tenth year as neighbors, he got elected as President and CEO of a multinational corporation at only 36 years old. He didn't want to move apartments but duty called.

I spent six months and over $20,000 to plan a family vacation. However, when my mate’s childhood sweetheart Victoria heard about our trip, she begged to join us. Alexander didn't hesitate. He cancelled my spot in the protected convoy and gave it to her instead. He forced me to travel alone through deadly Shadow Pack territory - a thirty-six hour journey where three wolves had died last month. The whole family supported Alexander's decision without a thought for my safety. So I changed my travel plans. I headed north instead of south. I spent three months enjoying myself, ignoring their mindlink message. That's when the family started to panic...

Zoey Blake swore off athletes the day she caught her hockey player boyfriend cheating with a cheerleader. She's done with games, on and off the ice, and plans to keep her distance from that world for good. But when her new tutoring assignment lands her with four players from her ex’s rival team, staying away gets complicated. They're nothing like she expected, frustrating, funny, and unexpectedly kind. And when they ask her to help with a plan to get back at her ex, she agrees, even if it means pretending to be part of their world again. What starts as a simple favour slowly blurs the lines Zoey worked hard to draw. The more time she spends with them, the harder it becomes to remember why she built those walls in the first place. She promised herself she’d never fall for another hockey player. She never imagined four of them might change her mind.

DISCLAIMER; BOYxBOY, erotic and 18+ only. “I will just drink my beer here, it is what I always do,” That is a lie, Caleb would probably be banging a blonde by now, now he was trying to act cool, he is just another piece of shit that I would enjoy cracking. “That would be dumb, won’t it?” I asked, seductively, walking closer to him. “Wh…what the fuck are you doing?” he asked as I slammed him to the wall. The party is filled with a bunch of horny teenagers, nobody gives a fuck what you do. “Making your evening eventful,” I whispered into his ear before biting his earlobe. The bottle of beer fell from his hands as he tried to push me off. “Stop…p, I’m not gay,” he wiggled, and that was just making me horny as fuck. “But you like it,” I chuckled, still licking his earlobe, as my hands went underneath his shirt. I pinched his nipple hard and his eyes rolled back. “No… I… don’t,” he lied but it came out as moans, making me smile. Caleb Mike didn't know he was gay till Ralph Landon came along, but Ralph just wanted to take revenge on Caleb for breaking his sister’s heart. Would he end up falling in love?

Since the day Serenity got hitched to a stranger on their blind date, she had assumed married life would be ordinary but respectful and mundane. It never crossed her mind that her new husband would be clingy like a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of a shoe. To her utmost surprise, he could make her troubles disappear whenever she was in a fix. Despite her questioning, her husband would always pass it off as luck. Until one day, she watched an interview with a local billionaire known for fussing over his wife. That was when she noticed the uncanny resemblance of the billionaire to her husband. The wife whom he was showering attention on turned out to be her!

I bet you’ve heard the story about the player that gets played. Yes, that’s me, Dylan Ashford. I am in an open relationship with my long-term girlfriend, and when I realize she is only using me for my name, I discover I am in too deep until I meet her, the girl with the brown eyes that make my world spin upside down, and believe I still have a chance of the love I always dreamed of. People see me as a Joker and a Playboy, but deep down, I am a romantic, and I need to find my own true love. Watching my big brother fall in love gave me hope. My name is Joanna Thompson, but my friends know me as Jo. I work in a security firm, and after a traumatic breakup with my ex, I am looking forward to finding my true love, but my head gets turned by the one person I absolutely despise for everything that he represents. Dylan Ashford is everything I always hated in humankind. He is cocky and a player. This book can be read as a Standalone, but for better comprehension, you should read The Big Shot first. This is book number two of The Ashford book series.

Rosalie Jacobs had been married to Byron Lawrence for three years before finally getting a divorce. The entirety of Coast City frowned upon her as the outcast wife of a rich family.Six years later, Rosalie returned to the country with a pair of twins and became a world renowned miracle doctor.Countless people flocked to marry her.Suitor No. 1 said, "Miss Jacobs, are your children missing a father? What do you think of me? If you agree, I will treat them like my own."Suitor No. 2, "Miracle doctor Jacobs, I was blown away by your beauty and talent when I first met you. I would like the chance to love you to the best of my ability for the rest of my life. President Lawrence is blind to turn his back on you. I would never leave you!"Just then, a little girl appeared. She hugged Rosalie's leg and said, "Mommy, daddy has been kneeling on the washboard for three days and three nights now. He asked if you’d calmed down yet. If you have, he wants to go to the Civil Affairs Bureau to get remarried."

Despite being single, Molly May had become pregnant without her knowing how six years ago. As a result, she fell into disrepute and got abandoned by her family.Six years later, she returned with her triplets: Alex, Ben, and Claudia. The triplets with high IQ found that Sean Anderson was their biological father. Hence, they went to meet him without telling their mother.However, the CEO refused to recognize his offspring. “I have lived chastely and never had physical contact with a woman.”“DNA doesn’t lie, and that’s a fact,” said Alex, the eldest of the bunch.“People say men will forget what they've done after pulling on pants. It seems to be true,” said Ben, the middle child.“You should be happy and grateful to have three adorable kids and a beautiful wife,” said Claudia, the youngest of the bunch.While Sean played the role of a father and his relationship with the triplets grew rapidly, he was estranged from his wife.So the triplets taught him tips and tricks to pursue women: making bold moves, stealing kisses, proposing, etc.Nevertheless, Molly was distraught by his moves. “Such flirting skills befit an experienced male escort.”When Sean's identity was finally revealed, he retorted, “You are the 'escort.' Your entire family are 'escorts!'”