Funny Quotes Grandma Novels & Stories

Grandma has always said strange things, so we both just assumed that hot wax meant dinner was ready. I laugh my ass off while mom limps in and takes the strips from grandma, telling her that she will make dinner. Grandma walks over to the couch and sits next to me. I lean my head on the woman that has taught me that no matter what, never give up. Together, we watch Jeopardy while she talks shit about every one of the answers given by the guy losing, while mom makes spaghetti and meatballs.

Gramps teased "Come on, Gramps," I smiled. "You looking sharp my grandson." Grandma complimented. "Thanks, Grandma, you are looking beautiful as well," I said, Bowing my head in a French style. "So I don’t get a compliment?" Gramps asked, his gaze drifting between mine and Grandma's. "You don't need one, Gramps; you are too old for that", I teased. "Too old?" I ignored him. "Let's go now; we can't keep our distinguished and prominent guest waiting," I said.

The old woman gasped like she had just been gravely insulted. Then immediately smacked his arm with her cane. “YOU shameless brat!” Felix yelped loudly. “Ow! Violence! Elder abuse!” “You deserve worse!” Grandma shot back. Lisa burst into uncontrollable laughter from the sofa. Unfortunately for her, Grandma’s sharp eyes immediately turned toward her next. “And you!” the old woman snapped. “Laughing like a donkey!” Lisa pointed at herself in shock. “Grandma!” “You think I don’t know you two make fun of me behind my back?”

“All of you shoo. You can do more of your experiments later. My Granddaughter needs to eat, after, these two young and virile men kept her... occupied all night and all morning.” “Grandma,” I yelled in shock as I felt my entire body go beet red. “What, are you telling me that those two didn’t... keep you occupied?” Grandma says with a smile to rival the Cheshire cat. I hung my head down. Oh, Goddess help me, this is her revenge for all the teasing I did of Grandpa Gavin. I hear Reed start to snicker at my discomfort. “Oh, I wouldn’t be laughing so hard if I were you,” Grandma says, pointing her finger at him. “You are one of the ones that were lacking in the ‘occupying’ skills.”

"Madam Albright, I want my child to be smart—best if it's a boy." A man with a beer belly sat politely across from Grandma. She replied, her face devoid of emotions, "It's 100,000 dollars per request." "Of course. That's understood. Don't worry, Madam Albright." Grandma pulled a piece of paper toward herself after the man agreed to the deal. … Grandma and I only had each other. She would paint every day, though her paintings were mediocre, to say the least.

"Keep going!" "I dare you!" I shot back, my voice like ice. Tessa froze, stunned by the fire in my eyes. Bianca seized the moment, fake-crying. "Mom, look at her! A nanny means more to her than I do!" Tessa's rage reignited. She grabbed the stick and swung again. "I'll teach you respect, you ungrateful wretch!" I shielded Candace, bracing for impact, when a deep, commanding voice thundered from the entrance. "Who dares lay a hand on my granddaughter?"

"Faith, don't be rude to your grandmother." I tried to wipe the sauce off my face, but Faith merely laughed louder and repeated in Datrenan, "What an idiot!" I burned with humiliation. "Faith, didn't I tell you to use Cathayan at home? I don't understand other languages." Alas, she just rolled her eyes at me and complained to my son, Noah Chapman, "Dad, Grandma's so dumb. I don't want to sit with her."

She ignored the crowd and cursed in court, "B*tch! You should pay for killing my father! She ruined my family! Why isn't she sentenced to death?! This isn't fair!" No one paid any attention to her shouting. To them, murderers didn't deserve to cry about fairness. In the end, the bailiffs dragged her away by force. … That evening, I bought my grandmother's favorite snack and placed it together with the written judgment at the memorial set up at the crossroads for her. "Grandma, I'd survived the three tribulations. From now on, all will be smooth sailing. You can now be at ease on the other side." Just then, the wind blew, and some of the petals from the flowers at the memorial flew into the n

Emerald became the main topic of gossip in the neighborhood too. In the past, she liked to exaggerate and flaunt her “generosity” and “wealth.” But I had exposed her. When people saw her lately, they could not resist taking jabs at her. “Look, it’s Emerald. She used to brag about giving her son-in-law an 880,000-dollar wedding gift. It turned out to be only 8,800 dollars. What a joke!” “She even encouraged her daughter to attack the man. Now, he’s paralyzed. What a disaster!”

Wayne waved his hand impatiently. “It was just soup. It didn’t even scald you. “Besides, Aiden has a point. Look at you. You don’t even know the basics of the language. You can’t even have a proper conversation with him. “Other grandfathers all over the world are bilingual or even trilingual. They can play football and do crafts with their grandchildren. “But look at you. Besides cooking, you just sit there smoking. That’s it. You’re useless.” Aiden became more emboldened. He pointed at me and said, “Exactly! If you weren’t so stubborn about staying alive, Grandma Sloane and Grandpa Wallace could’ve come back years ago and lived in a big house!”