Funny Reading Sayings

When our marriage contract expired, I found out I was pregnant. Charlie Newman’s voice was icy. "If it’s a boy, we’re even." I asked quietly, "And if it’s a girl?" He paused–then said coldly, "Then we keep trying until you give me a son." I sighed. Three years of marriage couldn’t compete with the need for an heir. However, one night, when I went downstairs for water, I saw him kneeling in the attic, eyes devout, voice trembling. "Merciful God, please grant me a daughter. If you hear my prayer and make my wish come true, I will give generously to your church and serve you faithfully all my life."

I have a histrionic personality. On top of that, I'm extremely attracted to good-looking people. Otherwise, I wouldn't have endured Caleb Johnson's sharp, vicious tongue and picky preferences for 99 days just for his looks. But one day, I overhear him telling his best friends—a guy with the top grades in school and the school bully—to seduce me. That way, I'll take the initiative to break up with him. I clench my fists, feeling the way my hands tremble. No, I'm not trembling out of sadness… I'm doing it out of excitement. Finally, I don't have to stare at just one handsome face! Marcus Thorne looks so hot with his gold-rimmed glasses. Meanwhile, there's Asher Prescott with his tanned skin and wild personality… Mmm… I want them both…

I get into an online relationship with a rich scion named Oliver Radcliffe, who's apparently from Canverly and loves showering me with riches. The only bad thing about him is that he's too clingy and is very prone to jealousy. So, I decide to break up with him without giving him any preamble. Poor Oliver breaks down in tears. He claims that I've stolen his heart and that he hates my guts. I already find him insanely annoying, so I refute, "I was just toying around with your heart, you idiot!" Later on, I travel to Canverly on a student exchange program. But that's when I get kidnapped to a grand estate. There, I scream at Oliver angrily, only for him to smile dotingly at me. "I can't understand what you're talking about, but I think you're just acting cute around me. Will you do the same thing when I use too much force on you in bed tonight?" Oh no, I've screwed up this time! I can't believe I've attracted the attention of a lunatic!

I always had a unique kind of mind-reading ability—I could hear the thoughts of people who didn't truly love me. On the night before my wedding, I suddenly heard my fiance's thoughts. 'If she shows up unexpectedly to disrupt the wedding tomorrow, will wearing leather shoes make it harder to escape?' I didn't say a word. The next day, without a second thought, I boarded a plane and left Chilia. In the end, that wedding, regarding a runaway bride and groom who never showed up, became the city's most infamous joke.

My husband, Don Cassian, just survived an assassination attempt. He limped in, bleeding, and ordered me to stitch him up. But when I reached into his blood-soaked suit, my fingers brushed against something soft. Black lace panties. Not mine. My hand flew to my still-flat stomach. For our child. How could he do this to us? Ice flooded my veins. “We’re done, Cassian.” His gaze was heavy, exhausted. He gave a single, sharp nod. “Fine. I’ll have my lawyer draft the papers.” But then, a frantic little voice—one that wasn't mine—screamed from deep within my womb. [Mom, don’t leave him! Dad didn’t cheat! The family isn’t going to fall. It’s a setup!] [Oriana Gallo planned all of this! She wants your place! She put those panties in his pocket herself!] [If you leave, her men will grab you. They’ll take you to an abandoned warehouse and dump your body in Lake Michigan. Then she’ll play the grieving friend, comfort Dad, and become the new Mrs. Marino!] [Mom, I came back to stop this! Please, don’t fall for it again!] I snapped back to the present. Spinning around, I launched myself into Cassian's arms, my body wracked with sobs. “I was just trying to scare you! How could you agree so easily? Are you that tired of me?” I jabbed a finger at his chest, tears streaming down my face.

I saw a post while scrolling through my social media. [Adult male merman for sale. Hard to tame. Letting go for cheap.] I commented, [I'll take him.] The seller asked for ten thousand dollars and promised doorstep delivery. When I opened the package, the merman was nowhere near 160 pounds. He barely weighed over a hundred. His skin was sallow, his ribs visible beneath it, and his tail fin was rotting at the edges. I messaged the seller, [I want a refund.] The message failed to go through.

"How can you say that about me, Nathan? I never had a kid!" Aaron Fuller protests. My wife, Jenny Green, stands protectively in front of him. "That's enough! You can't slander Aaron just because you're jealous of him. Just you wait, Nathan. I haven't settled the score with you for calling Aaron this afternoon and insulting him!"

I can't believe that my online boyfriend is actually my boss, Yoel Gilmore, who refutes me at all times during my work hours! So, I purposefully complain on the chat app, saying that my "boss" wants me to burn the midnight oil just to get a proposal done immediately. Almost immediately, I see my company's group chat updating with a new message that says, "A one-day extension has been given." Afterward, I claim that I "want to quit my job because the food at the cafeteria sucks". On the very same day, the company makes a decision to increase the cafeteria meals' portions without hiking up the price. I'm also given an increase in bonus. In the end, I say I want to break up with him because I can't hug him in real life. But I end up getting taken to the CEO's office, where I hear him telling me in a choked-up tone, "I'll let you hug and kiss me. Can we please not break up?"

[Damn it! She's obviously a scheming wretch. She's trying to seduce the male lead while the female lead is away. She's so eager to be the mistress, and she even called him Sir? Just go to hell already.] [Did you forget? There's no way the male lead would fall for such low-level tricks. He only cares about his precious niece. The male lead and the female lead's fathers were best friends. They're not blood-related. Those two are destined to marry each other!] [Hey, don't forget that the male lead also loves cats. Haha! He's an ailurophile.]

Ako ang tunay na anak ng pamilya Stone. Gamit ang gossip-tracking system ko, nagkunwari akong mahinhin at masunuring tao, pero sa loob-loob ko, matindi ako gumanti sa tamang oras. Ang hindi ko napansin ay may nakakarinig sa isip ko. “Kahit na anak ka naming tunay, si Alicia lang ang tunay naming tinatanggap. Kailangan mo matututong lumugar,” sambit ng mga kapatid ko. ‘Iniisip ko na baka sinira ko ang usapan namin ng demonyo sa nakaraan kong buhay kaya ako napuntas a pamilya Stone ngayon, naisip ko. Tumigil bigla ang mga kapatid ko sa paglalakad. “Si Alice ay masunurin, may sense kausap at mahal ng lahat sa pamilyang ito. Huwag ka magsimula ng drama para lang magpapansin.” Hindi ko mapigilan isipin, ‘Kung ganoon, may sapat ang sense niya para sirain ang buhay ng lahat at mahal na mahal kayo sa puntong nakakasuka na.’ Natanga ang ekspresyon ng mga magkakapatid.