How To Unlove Romane & Geschichten

Gusto na sana niyang magwala sa mga oras na iyon pero pinigilan niya ang kanyang sarili at sinunod na lamang ang hiling ng dalaga. Nag-iba ang tingin niya sa dalaga na parang bigla nalang nawala ang pagmamahal niya rito habang nakikitang aktwal ang paglabas pasok ng ari ni Luis sa kweba ni Tess. Hindi niya masikmura ang bawat oras na umuungol ito sa bawat kadyot ng ibang lalaki sa kanyang minamahal. Ayaw niyang may kahati ito sa pag angkin sa katawan ng babaeng kanyang buong buhay na pinahalagahan.

Hindi ko kayang iparamdam iyon kay Jolina. "Ramdam ko Gabriel, ramdam na ramdam ko yung galit mo. How many times do I have to apologize for you to forgive me? Do I have to beg or kneel? Because if it is the only way, I will do it. Just please forgive me for leaving you." Desperadang sambit nito. Mabilis itong umakto na luluhod sa harapan ko. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko at bago pa ito tuluyang makaluhod ay pinigilan ko ito.

He teased, i took a deep breath. "Can we please forget what happened last night?" i took all my courage to tell those words, at ng masabi iyon ay parang nawalan ako ng bara sa lalamunan. "I can't... i can't forget that kiss Kia. i will never forget that kiss! cancel your wedding with Ludian, gagamitin ka lang nya. Tsaka alam mo naman na all along si Hannah lang ang mahal niya at hindi na magbabago yun" hindi ako makapagsalita, feeling ko ang liit liit ko...

Doon ko nakita na dapat huwag mo ipilit na gustuhin mo sa mga taong pagod ng lumaban. Kasabay nang pagkawala ng bituin ang malakas na pag-bagsak ng ulan. Sinalo ko ang lahat ang mga patak nito. I know how hard it is to let go, move on, forgive and forget! It's never too easy to do all those things at once, especially when you've poured your heart out loving him, especially when you've invested so much for the relationship to work. I know how hard it is to let go of something you once thought would last forever.

Mas lamang ang pagmamahalan nila panigurado. Malapit na ang graduation Leana. Hindi ka na dapat nagpapakababad sa lungkot. Dapat masaya ka lang. Okay na nga sina mama eh. Saan ka pa ba malulungkot? Si Nico… Ano bang gagawin ko para matanggal lahat ng ibang nararamdaman ko para sa kanya? Paano ko ba maibabalik ‘yung pagtingin ko sa kanya na purong pagkakaibigan lang? Hindi pwedeng hayaan ko na lang ito. Dahil baka ito pa ang makasira sa pagkakaibigan namin.

Pero habang hindi ko panapag-aaralan pwedi naman na hayaan ko muna ang sarili ko na mahalin siya. Every time I tell myself to stop loving her it really gave me the pain, unexplainable pain. I'll going to keep my distance, and let me see what will happen next. I hope this will help me like what Jerry thinking. Even though it is a slow process at least there is a progress.

He said it sarcastically. I scoffed and gritted my teeth. "No need. You have already made me fall in love with you. What is the point of it? Hating you doesn’t do me any good at all. Why should I bother to suffer? Pshh." I pouted. I just declared that I love him when it should have been said in my mind.

I can feel the emotion from his voice, like it was really true that he loves me. I shooked my head repeatedly. It’s impossible to like someone right now, I don’t want to fall inlove. Becauss I already promise to someone, that he’s the only that I’m going to marry off. That he’s the only person I will have a romantic feelings. I don’t care if I was still too young that time, but I made a promise and I won’t break that.

It really hurts! If I remembered the past, unti-unti kong naiisip that I cannot even committed a single mistakes to broke our relationship because I love her but f*ck! That love is a mistake! Masaya sila and I know that! Ryan is happy now. Wala akong ibang ginawa sa kasal kundi tignan ang bandang gawi niya and I hate them seeing happy! It makes mad. Fuming bad. Hindi ko maatim na tignan sila, bitter na kung bitter but its makes me angry. I hate myself! F*ck!

I hate myself so much because I don't know how to teach myself to forget him. People's heart make people stupid. Hindi mo naman tinuruan ang puso mo kung sino ang mamahalin mo, kaya hindi mo rin pwedeng turuan ang puso mo na kalimutan kung sino ang minahal at minamahal nito.