Lotr Quotes Funny Novels & Stories

“That sentence alone increased my blood pressure.” “Good. Fear keeps people alert.” Two hours later, Sienna was slightly drunk and laughing hard enough to cry over a story involving teenage Luca punching someone at boarding school for insulting Emilia’s haircut. “He WHAT?” “He said and I quote ‘family loyalty transcends rationality.’” “That is the most Luca sentence imaginable.” “I know.” Sienna wiped tears from beneath her eyes while Emilia looked deeply pleased with herself. “You’re calmer now,” Emilia observed. “Yeah.” “Good.”

"Someone infinitely superior to a gorilla like you." Another bomb flew. Victor nearly cried. "How could you say that?!" "I'm your friend!" Kiara smiled sweetly. "Correction." "You're my dead friend." BOOM!! --- The descendants were laughing so hard they nearly fell off their chairs. Luke wiped tears from his eyes. "Uncle Victor is actually running for his life!" Neil laughed. "I've never seen him this scared." Even Penelope couldn't stop giggling. Theodore sighed while rubbing his forehead. ".he really deserves this."

"The Road goes ever on and on, down from the door where it began, now far ahead the road has gone and I must follow, if I can. Pursuing it with eager feet until it joins some larger way where many paths and errands meet and whither then? I cannot say." Mr. James: J. R. R. Tolkien. Me: I know. Mr. Jones: Me too, you didn't have to say it, you know (tries to maintain his confident poise as we stared at him in disbelief) He could tell instantly that the quote was from J.R.R. Tolkien, the author of "Lord of the Rings" but why would he someone write it there baffled him. He sure knew that no random person will write that except he's a "little high on the brains" or he's a nerd...

“Oh, Nate. Remind me to educate you on the joys of a show called Firefly. It’s old, but fun.” “And it involves man parts?” I was still confused. I don’t think I’ll ever get the hang of the language shared by these three. It seems to be equal parts sarcasm and quotes from random books and shows. At the beginning of summer, I listened to an entire rant about men in classical literature.

About fifteen minutes into the drive, I asked, “Why so slow?” “Oh, I’m sorry. Do you feel the need, the need for… going faster?” I laughed so loudly I almost snorted and had to put both of my hands over my nose since even a baby like me recognizes the famous movie quote he almost said. “You’re a funny guy in an unassuming way.” He turned a slight shade of pink. “Yeah, well, in our line of work you have to find some way to be a little bit of a comedian, or you’ll end up in the loony bin.”

"And you should stop talking to me and ruining my mood!" "Haha! You really want to push me to my limit, right? Just wait and see!" Looking over her shoulder, I saw Nero and Loki, walking into the living room, and the fact that he was unharmed left me smiling like some fool. "What so funny, uh?!" Loretta shouted. "Dad, is it wrong to smile in this house again?" I let out. Just like Nero, Loki doesn't like walking about with his scent, and the stressful look on Loretta's face was priceless when I said those words.

Roger replied as he tried to imitate Mae West as well. “Of all the fabulous Mae West quotes to pick from, you go with that?” Chris chuckled as she planted herself on the sofa next to him. “It’s the best I could come up with on such short notice,” he shrugged. I placed my elbows on my desk and held my face in the palms of my hands. “Tough day, honey?” Roger asked. “Every day’s a tough day,” I replied. “Our little Gertie found herself a new man,” Chris teased.

“This is not funny. This is idiotic.” Al Pacino retorts with, “He’s a tight ass! And you got your head ALL the way UP it!” JP laughs again. Even Dominique smiles. “Would you stop that?” Grant barks. “Sit down! Shut up! You understand?” Grant puts his face in his hands. “Can I do my thing now?” I ask nicely. Grant waves me along with one hand without looking at me. Sure. Go ahead. I navigate to the correct page, the one where Mailin and I used to do our dueling celebrity quote battles, and hack into a private channel enabled with sound.

“It’s good for the old fart. If he wasn’t with you, he’d be at home with that damn drooling dog of his.” “Leia does not drool,” Trent replied in a haughty tone. “She has excess saliva.” We all burst into laughter. “I think Leia is awesome,” I said. “She’s a good girl.” “She’s a slobbering girl,” Richie said with a laugh. “It’s about time he found a woman that won’t drool on him.” “If you’re referring to me, I do tend to get a little drooly after a few drinks,” I joked. “She isn’t lying,” Julia said dryly.