Sad Pick Up Lines Novels & Stories

“Just keep the momentum goin’. Don’t stop to breathe, don’t spill the beer. And for the love of all that’s holy, flip that cup fast.” “I’ve been training for this my whole life,” I said, cracking my knuckles. “Let’s go.” Brody jogged to the other side and pointed at me with both fingers. “You better pray I don’t land the final flip, Blue!” “Your flips are as weak as your pickup lines,” I shouted back, which got a loud oooooh from the crowd gathering around us. I looked over at Sadie. She was bouncing on her toes, eyes bright, cheeks pink. “You ready for this?”

Dark and Sexy just cranked up the heat with his smile. Smiling, I pull out my order pad, “Sorry, I…” I’m cut off by Man Bun. “Come on, man. This is a diner. They don’t sell that kind of delicacy here.” The gorgeous guy rakes his eyes down my body. I don’t know why, but when Mr. Sanders did that to me this morning, it made me want to vomit. Mr. Man Bun just used a cheesy line and checked me out, but all I want to do now is go take a cold shower. Weird. I already turned down one threesome today, but I don’t think I would turn one down if these two are involved.

He brought his glass to his lips and peered sultrily at her over the rim as he took a sip. Sasha nearly rolled her eyes. God, could he have been any more cliché with that pickup line? Well, she would take it like that, even though she'd hoped for more originality. After all, she'd seen men go speechless at the sight of her. "Maybe the same thing as you," she answered. "Is it?" The man flashed her a meant-to-be-dazzling smile. "And whatever might that be?" "I don't know," Sasha replied, matching his sultry tone. "Why don't you tell me?"

But when the phone rang, the message came through that the number was unreachable. At that moment, I froze, shocked by the result. Darcy breathed a sigh of relief, fully convinced I was a liar, and slapped me hard. Her long nails left deep scratches on my face, and the sting was unbearable. "Dare to dream, huh? You think you're going to be Mrs. Palmer? Who knows whose sugar daddy's number you're calling?" "He won't even answer your call. No wonder you're rushing to find another rich guy. Too bad for you, you've hit a dead end today."

The man was powerful enough to make night turn to day if he wanted. “Goodnight, shrimp face.” “dream of me, bunny.” “Sure, I’ll make sure to keep it real juicy… your beat up body would be perfect. So of course, I'll dream of you, darling, sure.” “At least you’d be dreaming about me, baby.” I groaned into my pillow, frustrated….I could never win with the idiot!

Chris POV It's Friday evening when I get a call from Andrew inviting me out with him and a few other. After another week of not following through with calling that Sasha girl back I felt bad and asked her friend Sofia from work for her address and I sent her a dozen roses and a small car that said sorry on it, if she’s not some slut then she should no the there from me but I've only meet with her twice and on once of those times she was beaten sitting outside of the police station, so I can’t say for sure if she’s not the type of girl to just open her legs for any dude that looks her way.

Sadie's sudden words shocked Hunter. “I could see the way she was looking at me, she was looking down on me,” Sadie said. “She even fooled me into saying she'd been under you, aish you bitch,” Sadie said and Hunter tried to hold back his laughter. "Does she think I can't do it?" Sadie said. "Do what? Do you want to have sex with me?” Hunter said. "Shut up!" Sadie said. “I'm sure there's another way to mark me without having to have sex with you, I can't even imagine it, it's disgusting,” Sadie said.

Is this guy serious? "Are you shitting me right now? That has to be the worst pickup line I've ever heard." Dels says while narrowing her eyes at the boys. Next to her Tess also looks less than impressed. The chumps are not done yet though, "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the iceberg and I'll go down." The other boy says as we finally make it back to where the girls are sitting. "Wow. Congratulations." Tess says while slow clapping. "That one was even worse."

I leaned in close to her, her sweet, subtle scent wrapped my senses causing me to struggle focusing. I searched through the crowd looking for the most popular person I could use to impress her with my claim. “See that lady over there with a Monkey's butt hat?” I pointed towards Sadie, model and ex wife to the famous Rio, the actor. “Yeah?” She was already getting amused “I bet a thousand dollars she'd exchange pleasantries with more than two people in five minutes only” And within the time frame, three people did walk up to her. “How did you know that'll happen?!” Her voice in a low thrilled tone, she turns to look at me brushing the side of her face with mine.