Your Momma So Fat Jokes Novels & Stories

“Ice cream it is. But real scoops. Not that sad frozen yogurt stuff.” “Deal. After what we just survived, we deserve full-fat sugar.” “Baby boot camp,” she muttered. “My bank account is going to need therapy.” “My back already does.” She raised a brow. “Come on, Mom, you’re rich rich,” I said with a small grin. “And so are you, CEO Charez,” she shot back with a look that said she wasn’t letting me off the hook.

“I wouldn’t have even guessed you were related.” My grandma gave a botched laugh — the type she kept reserved for church and events such as these. “She’s the only one in our family who’s overweight,” she said lightly, like she was discussing the weather. “I’ve been telling her to stay away from junk food, but you know how these things go. If she doesn’t change, she’ll never find a man.” My chest tightened as they all laughed at me. Laughed like the joke that I was. “I mean,” she continued, gesturing proudly, “look at my daughter.”

"He said that mom was a fat girl who got rich and thinks she's a queen, he said that, he said it in front of everyone, he said it at recess, he said it so everyone would hear, so everyone would laugh, so everyone would make fun, so everyone would think it's true, that it's true that mom is fat, that it's true she got rich, that it's true she thinks she's a queen, and I told him to shut up, I told him it wasn't true, that mom isn't fat, that mom is beautiful, that mom is the most beautiful, the strongest, the bravest, the most loving, the most everything, everything, everything, and he laughed, he laughed and he said I was a liar, that my mother was a fat girl, that everyone knew it, that eve

“I’m not boring. Your mother doesn’t find me boring, do you, Katy?” Katy looked at me with a not-so-subtle wink. “Never.” “You laugh at my jokes! You love my stories!” he protested, looking aghast. Matthew snorted. “It’s habit, Dad. Face it. Boring. I’m telling you—you’re not all that and a bag of potato chips.” I tried not to laugh at Richard’s expression. Jaxson was smirking, trying to hide his amusement. Reed was shoveling eggs into his mouth like a starved man, concealing his grin.

This is the most goals joke as long as I've heard. "You're kidding, right? I swear! That's funny. Wow! If you join to stand up comedy, I make sure you can be the winner." "Na," said Mommy quietly. Chiko still showing his smile. "I'm serious and this is not a joke. You can tell the difference too, right?" Shit!

"Kennedy tell me you are not pregnant." I stopped what I was doing and looked up at her, "really! Damn, why is everybody saying that, do I look fat?" Mom eyed me, "Kennedy Claire I don't care how old you are you will not cuss in my house. I don't know where you got that nasty habit." I made a face at her, "hmm let's see, maybe you." She laughed, "shit, I know but I can't help it."

I said once I arrived at the dining table to join her. Mom had a scowl on her face, as if recalling an unpleasant past. She said, "Don't worry, my daughter. I can take care of myself, and it's not in my genes to become a chubby woman." Laughing, I suggested, "It's not in those other women's genes either, but staying at home and sleeping regularly could stimulate the fat gene, and you might become a plus-sized woman." Mom chuckled and said, "Alright. I'll resume my fitness training."

"I need you plump, hale and hearty. I bet if you ate as much as I wanted you to, you wouldn't be in the hospital by now." Placing my hands over hers, I said, "Grandma, if I ate that much, Mr. York wouldn't pursue me so hard. He likes his girls slim, slender and model-like." She tipped her head back and laughed. A minute ago and she wouldn't have taken that joke so well. "You get that from me. Your father was a very big man and your mother was just as big." This fat shaming bitch. She never passed up the opportunity to remind me how chubby my mother was and how much she hated it.

Xan hates seeing me sad, my son at this age also will do anything to keep me happy. Little does he know, his mere presence is enough to make me happy, he is the source of all happiness in the world. Smiling, I pulled him closer to me, cuddling I kissed his forehead, " no baby, mommy is just upset." "Why?" He asked, looking at my face. "Mommy is getting fat." I pouted, looking at my stomach. Xan follows my gaze and tilts his head. My son looked at me confused, his little brain not understanding, the deal about me getting fat.

Mum scolded immediately. “None of the guys at school like me. They avoid me.” I said with a sad sigh. “You know I’ve never been asked out a date and I’m in my junior year already. It’s because I’m a fat nerd who wears glasses .” “Don’t say that and please don’t think about those boys. Their immature and they don’t deserve you. And you’re not fat!” Mum said the last line with a laugh. “Really?” I asked her. “So why are my boobs so big?”