Your Momma So Fat Jokes Novels & Stories

"I need you plump, hale and hearty. I bet if you ate as much as I wanted you to, you wouldn't be in the hospital by now." Placing my hands over hers, I said, "Grandma, if I ate that much, Mr. York wouldn't pursue me so hard. He likes his girls slim, slender and model-like." She tipped her head back and laughed. A minute ago and she wouldn't have taken that joke so well. "You get that from me. Your father was a very big man and your mother was just as big." This fat shaming bitch. She never passed up the opportunity to remind me how chubby my mother was and how much she hated it.

Xan hates seeing me sad, my son at this age also will do anything to keep me happy. Little does he know, his mere presence is enough to make me happy, he is the source of all happiness in the world. Smiling, I pulled him closer to me, cuddling I kissed his forehead, " no baby, mommy is just upset." "Why?" He asked, looking at my face. "Mommy is getting fat." I pouted, looking at my stomach. Xan follows my gaze and tilts his head. My son looked at me confused, his little brain not understanding, the deal about me getting fat.

Hahaha, did I forget to say that mom is endowed in all ramifications? "Yeah! From beneath the sea, I heard your rhythmic cry, and I couldn't float watching a pretty land walker like you in pain, so I had to do something." He said. "Oh my God, you are so funny, you must be a comedian, a sweet one." Mom said, laughing in her sexiest way. "Really? You think I'm funny?" Dad asked, giving her a look that almost seems like a surprised one. "Hmm. Thanks for the compliment, I never imagined anyone could ever see me as anything near funny. So, thank you for the compliment, land walker."

Momma nudges me with her shoulder and my cheeks burn brighter. “No, I’m having a tropical moment.” I sass back, and she laughs, throwing her head back before she kisses my head and hugs me. “Yeah, right, and I’m the pope.” She says, and I groan at her. “Don’t let your dads or brother, for that matter, find out about your … Tropical moments. You know how they are.” I glare at her and she winks at me, smiling. “Hey Mav, how are you and little Melody finding it here?” Oh just great, did I tell you my momma is the biggest wind up merchant there is out there? No, well yeah, she is.

Her tone dripped with disdain as she said, "Being a business owner doesn't prove anything. Looking the way she does, maybe she's got some kind of kleptomania." Her words hit like a slap. My hand beside me curled into a fist before I could stop it. Whispers and muttered comments floated around. Someone even snapped pictures. "Wow, she looks so old! Even older than my mom. Does she not take care of herself?" "Maybe she really has some weird habits." "I thought the woman beside her was her daughter. Turns out that's her mother. What a plot twist! The mother looks younger than the child." Memory after memory of those same judgmental stares began to needle at me again. I could barely breathe.

feeling amused he asked him. “Just think about it. Your mother getting all riled up just because the meal is getting cold as you were to slow to come downstairs, I wouldn’t be surprised if she thought about bending your ass over her knee.” Peter bent down over his stomach as he started to laugh so hard at the thought. Matt couldn't hold in his laughter hearing his father's words. “What is so funny?” Meg asked as she entered the room. “Oh, just the vision of this big guy and your lovely mother as she is trying to spank him for being late to breakfast.”

She made it sound more sarcastic than her usual sarcastic tone. “Well, I’m sorry I didn’t reach your expectation, Miss Chess-Player-Champion-Since-Birth.” I tried to imitate her tone, but instead of us fighting, we laughed so hard. “Aww,” Mom grunted. We looked at her and saw her holding her belly. “Are you okay, honey?” Dad asked her. “Yeah, I think I laughed too hard. I was happy we’re able to have a dinner like this,” she said and was about to cry.

my mom shares. "Come on. Don't be so conservative. I'm seventeen, I got to make the most of it." I say eating a pancake " yummy stuff mom." A knock on the front door. "I'll open the door to your... friend." My dad says getting up. "Mom. Am I fatter?" I ask getting up. "No baby. You're the same. Don't stress over eating more. It's good for you. You're still growing. Ok?" She assure me.

Mum complained. Translation - "Look at you, You've become so thin!!" Sam giggled and said, "Main thik hu bade papa (father's elder brother/uncle). And my studies went well. And to answer you badi maa, no I am eating my diets properly and I am fit now." Translation - "I am all right uncle." Did I tell you Sam was so chubby and cute in her childhood! And now well she's looking pretty and lean. But I liked my baby sister as chubby and cute she was.

I turn around to find Toffer next to her, carrying dirty plates to the sink area. "That's a good one, Mom." She compliments her mother who is still watching me. "How big are we talking?" Oh my God, she's not letting this go. "Mom, it's not the size. It's the move that-" Mom is just like May. "Nahh, I've had my fair share of cock during my time. This is the hulk we're talking about." Again, Mom is laughing hysterically as Toffer is trying hard not to laugh. They are both putting plates into the dishwasher while Grandma is tapping foot in front of me, waiting for my answer.