Chapter 15: To Be Loved

Flashback to a few years ago…

It was a sunny morning, the white-haired man finds himself sleeping naked under the covers. Masaki was nowhere to be sighted, suddenly the coldness spread over his thin body. He seeks the warmth that envelop him that night, even though it was just a momentary warmth. Kazuto loves the affection Masaki gave him.

He was taught that Masaki’s affection was toxic by Professor Mizuno, but honestly, he didn’t mind it. At first, he didn’t mind it, but the man slowly became possessive of him that it made him feel depressed. Like a bird in a cage, his wings were taken away from exploring the outside world.

All Kazuto knew was that his touch made him feel like he was truly loved. It was as if he cares for him for he truly is. However, the next morning he opened his eyes, and it dawned on him that Masaki was no longer next to him. Professor Mizuno always came to check on the clueless young man for any sign of injuries and bruises on his body.

Kazuto wasn’t sure why Professor Mizuno cried whenever she saw his injuries. Her tears were sincere and honest, the woman always shot a glare toward Masaki when he wasn’t looking. When the professor treated his bruises, she always told him the same words all over again. It was a piece of motherly advice that Kazuto never heard before.

“Kazuto, treasure yourself, my dear,” she stutters while holding back her crying. “I don’t like seeing you all hurt and injured like this?”.

“Because I’m a valuable specimen Professor?”, Kazuto asks without any hesitation in his tone. “Father always said that to me, I understand Professor”.

Professor Mizuno’s tears escaped her eyes, she pulls him into a deep hug. It was strange to see her kind smile drop, Kazuto’s chest feels warm when she hugs him. He could feel that the warmth was different from Masaki, he couldn’t explain it in words consistently. Kazuto hugs her back while she’s sobbing in front of his bedroom.

Despite her sobbing, she remains level-headed with Masaki, composing herself in front of his father. It was his first time seeing that side of her at that time, ever since she created him that is. She taught him lots of meaningful emotions that need to be used in society. However, his father disdains this idea of teaching his son about the importance of emotions and society.

Professor Mizuno and his father had a debate in regards to that, it took them hours to finally resolve the conflict. They’re tense with each other, that’s for sure. Kazuto doesn’t understand what’s going on between these two individuals, it is as if they've already been on each other throats ever since he was born by that tube.

“Is my existence causing them to fight amongst themselves?”, he questions himself.

The days keep going normally, but the relationship between the two is getting worse. Professor Mizuno teaches him how to care and love for someone, but on the contrary, Masaki taught him how to be an agile assassin that does not care about emotions. Their lessons are contradictory to each other.

However, Kazuto leans more toward Professor Mizuno’s teaching. His eyes always become bubbly, his mood heightened, and everything in this world becomes colorful when the Professor enters the scene. He no longer feels like a null void, but at the same time, he was told to be an empty void by Masaki.

Every night, it was unbearable for him to hold back his voice. Kazuto feels the affection through his touch. As his moan escapes his lung, the two individuals made the two rhythmic melodies in sync. Their breaths collide, and so are their body under the blanket cover. Kazuto moans, but his sensitive ears pick up another voice other than their colliding breath.

A sound of sobbing from the wall next to him, he knows the owner of that gentle voice.

“Professor? Why are you crying? Aren’t we loving each other?”.

*    *    *

It was a rough day, the mission was to assassinate the family of a certain prime minister. The moment Kazuto lands his knife on the woman's chest, his chest felt a certain pang of pain. She died protecting her son. Cowering in fear, the son peed his pants when Kazuto aim his gun toward his temple.

“Mum? Why can’t I wake her up?”, the son called her mum, trying to wake her up. “No, don’t leave me”.

The boy looked up to Kazuto, he begged him to wake up his mother from sleeping. It seems the little boy is unaware of the concept of death, that his mother was not breathing because of the bullet Kazuto planted on her chest. Kazuto points his gun at the son's forehead, while the son cries. Even though his father was a corrupt prime minister, one never

It was a short cry, Kazuto shot the boy's temple reluctantly. He didn’t cry anymore, his mouth gaped wide. Kazuto close both of their eyes, his job was done for the day. However, he still feels his chest ache from that day. Kazuto can see the sins he’s done are more than he can atone for. He just killed a child who knows nothing of his father's deeds.

After he finished his mission, Kazuto walked away from the crime scene. The prime minister got what he deserved, but killing the innocent always irked his mind. Professor Mizuno taught him not to kill since it’s a sin. However, Masaki’s teaching has always been contradictory to her beliefs.

“I’m so screwed, am I?,” Kazuto laughed painfully. “Professor Mizuno, I’m so tired of this”.

The screams of horror fill the manor in intensity, the butlers found the woman and the son's bodies inside the main bedroom. His silenced Glock did the trick, it was swift and efficient. Except for the son, he was somewhat making a strange puppy face that made him feel guilty. Not long after, a familiar voice resonated in his earplug.

“Good boy, you can receive your reward after the mission is over”.