愛は跡形もなく消えた

Arya

“You look wonderful, my dear.”

Dad’s sudden compliment as he meets my gaze through my reflection in the mirror makes me smile. My hair is up in elaborate braids, and my makeup is done immaculately, even though I have to say that it’s my first time doing it.

Happiness is radiating off me, and my blue eyes are sparkling with joy.

He was right. I do look perfect.

And why would I not be? Tonight is my eighteenth birthday party. Everyone outside our house are already setting up outside. My excitement is through the roof, especially when I remember what was promised to me.

Tonight, my boyfriend Levi, the Alpha heir of the Shadow Moon Pack, will claim me as his Luna.

“Are you ready now?” Dad asks, sitting next to me and watching me.

“Not yet,” I tell him gently, and as if on cue, Mom comes in with my shoes. I put it on excitedly, facing them. “So what do you think?”

Dad gets up to survey me, standing next to my Mom. Tears both brim their eyes, but I can see nothing but pride in their gaze.

“We think you’re ready,” Mom says, and I can tell she’s not just talking about how I look.

She’s talking about me being ready for the next stage of my life, being a Luna.

It’s the tradition for werewolves to find their mates when they turn eighteen, but Levi and I already had a connection since we were kids. He’s from the leading family and I had to keep my distance then, but we knew early on that we were mates.

He could have claimed me early, but he’s always been more distant. He prefers to do things the right way, so I’m excited for us to be public and official tonight.

“Do you think he will propose to me?” I blurt out suddenly.

Dad chokes on his own tongue. Mom drops the shoe box in her hand. I giggle at their reaction, but I can’t help but voice out all the happy thoughts in my head.

I smile awkwardly. “Well, we would be married someday, I’m sure--”

“Um, Arya?”

I ignore Dad. “Probably when Alpha Mathias passes down the title to him, right? That’s usually when Alpha’s marry their mates--”

“Arya, he is--”

“Mom, I know it’s too soon but think about it. Your daughter is going to be the Luna and--”

“Arya.”

This time, the voice makes me stop talking. I whip around and my heart almost stops. Standing by the door of my bedroom is no other than Levi.

He’s already in a suit for tonight’s event. His black hair is slicked back, drawing more attention to his handsome face, particularly his golden eyes. My heart flutters at the sight of him and I smile as wide as I can, but he just looks at my parents and says, “Please, Mr. and Mrs. Clarke, give us a moment to talk.”

Mom and Dad exchange glances and bow, nodding at me before exiting the room.

Once alone, I open my arms to invite Levi for a hug, but he doesn’t move. “Levi? What’s wrong?”

He turns his cool gaze on me. “I can’t take you as my Luna.”

My blood turns cold. Everything seems to have gone black for a moment. I try to smile and play it off as a joke, but he’s as serious as ever. “But . . . Levi, we are mates--”

“No,” he simply stated, cutting me off with a calm look.

For some reason, his calm and defeated gaze makes me feel worse than I already do. I would have preferred it if he screamed at me or pushed me. I don’t think I can bear the disappointment emanating from him, especially since I don’t understand.

“Tell me why, then,” I urge him, my desperation making my voice crack. “We’ve always been close. We knew we were mates since last year, Levi. You can’t just take it back. Did your dad--”

“He has nothing to do with this,” Levi states, and once again I’m chilled by his tone. “Yes, I knew for a year that we were mates. I tried to understand, believe me. I hoped I was wrong, but that didn’t mean I knew everything about you, about who you are. About what you are.”

“What?” I step closer to him. “What I am? What are you talking about?”

His jaw clenches. “It’s best if you ask your parents or your brother Daniel that question. I’m in no place to answer. Just accept the rejection and I shall let this go.”

“No.” I shake my head, blinking hard to keep my tears at bay. “You’re the one who came here. You explain it to me!”

Levi stares at me as though considering it, but then he nods briefly and turned around. “Good night, Arya.”

That’s it for me, the breaking point. The pain in my chest reaches its crescendo, and I find myself in a daze, marching towards him and pulling him by the arm. He tries to pry my hand off but I hold on and make him face me.

“Look at me and tell me what the hell is going on,” I demand. “Tell me why you’re . . . why you’re rejecting me.”

“I reject you. . . .” Levi pauses meaningfully. “Because you’re human.”

My hand falls to my side. “What?”

“Mr. and Mrs. Clarke found you in a forest because your real parents have abandoned you,” he says simply, his voice emotionless. Careless. “For a whole year, I have doubted this. I observed you. And I hoped against hope that I was wrong, but I wasn’t. You are a human, and I can never have a human mate.”

Tears flow down my cheeks. I swallow hard, looking at him imploringly, struggling to even beg him to stay. I try to take his hand, but he turns away, his face set.

“But . . . I can make things work.” I feel hot. Delirious. “I can still be a good mate to you. I can still be your partner--”

“You don’t understand,” he interrupts. “I need a Luna more than I need a mate. My father is counting on me to find someone strong and . . . fitting for the title. I’m sorry, Arya.”

My heart breaks. One quick snap. I watch in complete utter silence as he walks out of my room and leaves me lying on the floor. My entire body is numb. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how it happened. . . .

He called me a human.

He said my real parents tossed me out.

But Mom and Dad are my real parents. They have to be.

I’m shaking all over. I’m half expecting everything to be a dream, but the sudden burst of happy sounds from outside tells me that everything that happened is real.

Everything seems to be in slow motion as I get up, but then the door opens and my parents enter. My chest tightens. I don’t even know if I should call them that.

“Arya?” Mom rushes towards me and touches my face. “We . . . we heard what happened and we want to explain--”

I jerk away from her touch. “So you mean to say that what Levi said is true? I’m human and you’re not my real parents?”

The look of shame on their faces is enough to tell me the truth.

“So I’m not your child?” I ask them in a quivering voice. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because you are ours!” Dad insists. He tries to hold me. “You are ours, Arya, we don’t care what everyone thinks!”

That draws the line for me. I push past them and leave my room, our house, and head into the woods. The sounds and the lights from the ceremony are still reaching me, and for a second I think about making my way there and announcing to everyone how Levi treated me.

Then again, who will take my word against his?

I should just count myself lucky that he didn’t reject me publicly.

But he still broke my heart, and he did it by simply stating a simple fact: I’m a human and I’ve been lied to my entire life.

And that explains a lot.

I don’t have a wolf. I’ve always been told that I would eventually hear a voice in my head and take on its form, but that never came to me. No wonder training is useless for me. No wonder I can never keep up with Levi and his group, even with my friends.

I never belonged here, and Levi made that clear.

With tears flooding my eyes, I run as fast as I can, scaling low hills and pushing away low-hanging branches. I know I have to stop eventually because this part of the woods leads to a cliff, but I don’t stop until I reach the edge.

Maybe it would be better if I just leave it all.

Mom and Dad won’t have to deal with the embarrassment of having a human, rejected child. My friends won’t have to be laughed at for being associated with me.

And I won’t have to deal with the pain of knowing that Levi never loved me. He just wants a strong, respectable Luna.

I stare at the yawning emptiness beyond the edge of the cliff, hearing it calling to me. Feeling it pulling me.

So I take a deep breath and jump.