Dark Humor Dad Jokes

The sirens knew how to do only one thing. Kill. Usually, it was just those who travelled their seas, until the greedy ruler of Greake, captured their queen. The sirens ventured into the lands at midnight in search of their Queen, bringing chaos along with them. So many lives were lost from the midnight invasion, as such the humans had a powerful witch, Adora, summon the Pombero to keep the sirens off their lands. King Edwardo got greedy again. With his sword in hand, dripping the blood of their victims, and Adora by his side, he haunted the sirens who were retreating into their seas. The few who survived the slaughter were enslaved by the king and exploited for riches until they died a miserable death. Edwardo didn't stop there. His quest for wealth and power clouded his sense of reasoning. Sick of the bloodshed, Adora performed a dark ritual that brought a temporary calm to both sides. Adora didn't give much thought to the consequences, until she pushed the hideous child out of her womb. Years later, the throne of the Golden seas remained empty, as none of the sirens were powerful enough to contain the darkness that enveloped the throne. Given that half of their powers were locked away in the other half of their hearts given away by the sea to human mates, whom they were bound to love for the rest of their lives for the sake of peace. Princess Almira was not looking forward to finding love. All she needed was the other half of her heart to take over her mother's throne. Since the mates were immune to their manipulative melodies, Almira decided to go in search of him herself with only one plan. Drive a dagger through his heart and retrieve her property.

Trigger Warning: This story contains explicit adult content, hardcore taboo, possessive dynamics, age gap, themes of obsession, control, and heat-driven mating. The “brothers” in this story are not biologically related. ~ Kyle, Hayden, and their hot stepfather, the Alpha of Crimson Pack who married their mother, share a house that was never meant to feel like home. Their stepfather stopped pretending the moment he caught the scent of Kyle’s pheromones. His touches lingered. His stares burned. And then he told them exactly what he wanted: both of them, together, under him. They should have said no. They didn’t. Now Alpha Daddy has them exactly where he wants them: in his room, in his bed, on their knees. And they’re not just letting him take them. They’re begging for it.

NINA “My wife will ride you for her org-sm and for your come to fill her, so she can do her duty as Mrs. Sokolov.” Jeremiah’s fingers flexed around my throat. “Go on, little wh-re. Climb over him. I know you want to.”   I crawled over Lachlan, curling my fingers around his thick c-ck, and wondered — how big was Jeremiah? How long? How thick? Lachlan hissed, “Kitten, stop playing or I’ll come all over your hand.”   Jeremiah growled, “We can’t have that. All his come belongs in your c-nt, wife. So get on with it.” His lips brushed my ear. “Don’t stretch this out. I have something else that needs stretching.” Shuddering, I got to my knees. As I aligned Lachlan’s c-ck with my entrance, another hand wrapped around mine — larger, slick with oil. Jeremiah.   A moan escaped as my husband guided his lover’s c-ck to my core. I sank down slowly, the stretch burning until I took every inch. “F-ck,” Lachlan groaned. “You’re perfect around me.” “You too,” I moaned, pressed against his chest, lips tangled in a kiss.   Then, without warning, Jeremiah pushed in two fingers — into my other h-le.   I gasped as he stretched my untouched muscles. He didn’t stop. Not until I was full. Everywhere.   Lachlan groaned. “I can feel you.”   “I know,” Jeremiah said, his fingers thrusting deep. “Move.” Lachlan obeyed, lifting me until just his tip stretched me, then pushed me back down. I whimpered. My hips jerked. Lachlan cursed.   “You like that, wife?” Jeremiah’s voice rasped in my ear. “Being used by both of us?”   _ This is a twisted, dark MMF mafia romance where love is savage, hate burns deep, and survival comes at a deadly cost. Read-TW!!!! MF-MM-MFM-Dark-Twisted-Betrayal-Amnesia-Revenge-NonCon-Mafia-Humiliation-Dominated-Controlling-Ruthless-Mystery-Thriller-READ-Trigger-Warnings

After years of living separate lives, Arya Sterling and Michael Stone find their paths crossing once again. The love they once shared was shattered when Michael's ex-girlfriend, Lana Fields, re-entered their lives, leaving their relationship in ruins. Years have passed since that fateful encounter, and time has brought change, growth, and healing. A chance meeting in a city far from home reignites old memories and feelings they thought were long buried. The spark between them is undeniable, but the scars of the past still linger. As they navigate through the complexities of their emotions, they must also face the reality of their present. Can Arya and Michael rekindle their love and trust for each other? Or will the ghost of Lana Fields continue to haunt them, especially since she shows up again.

“Louder,” he said while watching me like a predator ready to strike, “I-I belong to you,” I stuttered while swallowing the lump formed in my throat. “To?” he gritted his teeth, “Nikolai Vasiliev,” *** Nikolai Vasiliev, the most feared and respected don of the Russian mafia. He was known as the ruthless king of the mafia whose world revolves around blood and lust. Love is forbidden to him as he promised himself not to love again. Juliana Mitchell, a brave, stubborn, hardworking and beautiful woman leaving her normal life, dreaming to find her happily ever after. All her life she was constantly reminded that she’s useless and ugly compared to her younger sister which made her doubt herself all the time. One encounter with the Russian don changed her life completely, pulling her into a web of lies, manipulation and pure torture. She’s ready to do anything to get away from his clutches but the question is, Will he let someone walk away from him the second time?

Note: This is Book 2. Do not flip the pages of this book if you haven’t read Book 1, which is My Dark Past. “Can true love mend all the heartaches brought by the painful past?” The story follows the life of Diane after knowing the truth behind her forgotten past. How will she opt to continue living her life if the man whom she has gotten rid of—chooses to stay beside her?

~Mature content ~strong language and sex scenes ~girlxgirl book ~~~~~~~~~ Love. Love is a powerful magnetic pull that pulls to opposites together. Love can be forbidden and destructive. But for Ashley and her stepmother Angelina Love is a forbidden obstacle course.

Set up and accused of the murder of the Alpha of Gray Mist pack, Sabrina is locked up and bullied by her own lover, the son of the Alpha. With failed intentions of executing her, which he was incapable of, he offers her as a peace offering to the rampaging dark lord. What happens when Charde realizes that the person he had just used as a peace offering was his mate and carried a baby in her womb? Can he fight the dark lord who had already taken custody of Sabrina? Even so, will she be willing to return to a bully who made her life miserable?

Attractive and beautiful woman with most precious smile was Nina Fernandez. It was a well-known restaurant of the city and she was there with her friend, Sara. Nina was married to a small heighted but a very loving guy, Fernandez. They lived in a posh area of city. “I don’t believe in marriage; it is not more than a jail” the words shook her but more than that it was the voice which she could recognize among thousands. It was the voice of her ex- boyfriend, Oscar Hurt, who was with some classy looking lady. Nina was stunned to saw Oscar after 10 years.

Della's dad was her best friend and her hero, until she decides to marry a man that does not meet his family standards in any way. With his marriage, career, and side hustle all being threatened at the same time, he makes a desperate attempt to "fix" the situation and he winds up opening a magical can of worms, that leads to secrets being revealed, and all kinds of magical mischief, and even a little naughty fun.