Dirty Orphan Jokes Novels & Stories

He stated his boundaries, making Cam and I laugh lightly. "Fine." "So Cam, I've got new jokes for you." "Alright, let's hear them." "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The interrupting cow." "Did you get that joke from the cartoon 'Home'?" Cam laughed. "Gee, I hoped you wouldn't know it." Rodney clapped his forehead and we all laughed.

“Don’t you mean fangtastic?” “I most assuredly do not.” His face was now stern. I rolled my eyes. “OK, got it. Dick jokes are OK but vampire jokes are not. Touchy much?” His mouth was drawn in a thin line “Funny jokes are acceptable. Others should be met with the derision they deserve.” There was a pregnant pause and all silly jokes and puns rushed out of my head, so I settled for rolling my eyes at him as I jumped off the bar stool instead. “Do you have anyone you need to let know you’ll be away?” he asked

“Want to share one?” “I never turn down sweets.” He grabs a plate and two forks and goes onto the screened-in porch. “You seem to like it out here.” “I do.” I flick on the overhead fan, feeling the heat of the day hit us as soon as we step out. “And Tulip does too.” Owen smirks. “I have a really good crazy cat lady joke right now.” “No pussy jokes anymore?” He laughs. “I can always come up with one.” “I’m sure you can come up with one.”

The silence stretched out, thick and uncomfortable, until Frank tried to break it with that awkward little half-smile he got when he was desperate not to let things fall apart. "Well," he said, his tone light but forced, "at least we know why my uncle was such a jerk to me growing up. Guess he was just getting in practice for the whole ’blackmail a murderer’ phase." The joke landed like a damp towel, flat, a bit pathetic, yet somehow just what we needed. A small, broken laugh slipped out before I could stop it, followed by Rowan huffing out something that might have been a chuckle if it didn’t sound so painful.

My smile widened as I mindlessly took off my jacket setting it down on the leather seat. I clung to Dalton chatting with him as Enzo thought it was the time for the like of the day as he called it. It was one of those stupid habits that we had going on as kids and it kinda stuck with us and Enzo was the one with the shittiest and corniest jokes. I braced myself to hear one of his dad jokes, Dalton was holding in his laugh at the eager look on his brother's face already. "What do you call a joke without a punchline?"

When my joke lands she tilts her head back to laugh, shaking her head as she looks at me. "You're ridiculous." She says. "You're smiling." I respond. She gives me that warm look again and I wonder what's going through her mind at this moment. "You got any other ones?" She asks and I wrack my brain for any other dad jokes. "Um... The circus lion ate the clown but didn't finish." I say. "Why?" She asks. "Because he tasted funny." I respond and Harper chuckles again. "More." She teases, but I just shrug.

“Joke’s on you. We’re going to win. And when we do, these boys are taking off their clothes and skinny-dipping with us while you clean our dirty clothes with your tongue.” My brows lifted. “You’ve been watching too much reality TV.” “I have this crazy feeling one thing’s going to lead to another and I’m gonna get that hockey boy money.” “Sure, Molly,” I said, flashing a cold smile. “Keep those dreams alive. Meanwhile, I’ll be living in the real world where your team of girly girls has no shot at beating a professional hockey team.” Something flickered behind her smug mask. A tremor. A flash of what if I’ve messed up.

"Okay! Okay! I will stop, but that joke of yours isn't good. Aren't there any more funny jokes?" I sat down next to Shin again. "I still have a lot of jokes," I replied. "Okay let me hear," "Here is a knock-knock joke. Knock-knock," - Me. "Who's there?" - Shin. "Tank," - Me. "Tank, who?" - Shin. "You're welcome!" Shin and I both poker-faced to that joke at the same time so I immediately drew a long line on it. "Knock! Knock!" - Me.

My staff was still semi-hard, in appreciation of the scenery. "You'd think he'd be in a better mood. God, for how many years has he scoped out our tits? And now with them on full display, he's like the Grinch." Jill pronounced, leaning back against a counter with her arms crossed, which put those yummy looking tits on proud display. "Look! You got him to smile! He's alive!" My ornery wife teased. "Water. Food." I grumbled, while they laughed at my misfortune. "You'd think he'd be bouncing off the walls. If I gave Dan a BJ like Sheri laid on this one, I could probably get me a new convertible." Robin chimed in.

He made me laugh, a genuine, bubbling sound that felt good after the fear. “Your turn,” he challenged, when he finished. “Tell me a joke. Something to keep the darkness at bay.” I thought for a moment. “Okay, okay… What do you call a fake noodle?” He raised an eyebrow, a slight smile playing on his lips. “What?” “An impasta!” I delivered the punchline with a flourish, and he actually laughed, a deep, booming sound that warmed the room. “Alright, alright, that was a good one, for a rookie,” he teased. “My turn. Why did the scarecrow win an award?”