Funny Fat Jokes Novels & Stories

“Who do you think you are to order us around? Your Luna title has already been suspended. You’re just another disgraceful traitor down here now—as worthless as any low-tier wolf.” “Look at her,” the second guard had chimed in, pointing a thick finger at my waistline. “Still complaining about hunger? Look at the size of you! With a big belly like that, you could go a month without a meal. Hell, if you’re that desperate, why don't you cut off a chunk of your own fat to eat? Maybe then you’d finally be fit enough to look like a real Luna, such a joke.” Their cruel laughter had echoed down the hall long after they walked away, leaving me collapsed against the cold bars, humiliated and hollowed o

he says making me laugh so loud, that everyone in the restaurant turned to look at me. "I'm sorry," I blush, that was embarrassing. "Don't be, you're okay, laugh all you want and if they look at you, I'll stab them with my bat knives," he says and I laughed again, I couldn't help it. "What's your superpower?" I ask him, it's one of the most famous jokes about Batman. "I'm rich," he said and I laughed again, the waiter came toward our table and I was sure he was going to tell me off for laughing this loudly, this is an establishment and not a place for me to be laughing like this.

"What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine." "Please stop," Ashlyn laughed, covering her face with her hands. "Your jokes are getting worse." "My jokes are berry good, thank you very much." He grinned, clearly proud of himself. "Get it? Berry?" "I'm filing for divorce." "No, you're not. You love my dad jokes." "I tolerate them at best." Richard leaned forward, still holding the strawberry. "What do you call a fake noodle?" "Don't—" "An impasta!" Despite herself, Ashlyn burst out laughing. "That's it. I'm leaving."

“I am pregnant with twins!” I reminded him and he laughed. “If it doesn’t fit, we will get a new car with belts to fit.” He assured me. “I wonder what else would stop fitting in soon.” I said and his expression made me laugh. “Not funny, girl!” He judged me. “Don’t worry, it will always fit! It’s just going to be a little harder to be on top without crushing you to death.” I joked. “I would happily die under you.” Okay, the joke stopped being funny when he said that.

“Why would I change when you’ll never stop trying to earn a joke from every situation?” “Isn’t life more fun with jokes? Something to laugh about once in a while. You know, it makes the world beautiful and fun when it’s dark. Studies even say laughter heals faster than herbs do. Lowers pain, strengthens the heart, clears the head. Makes the blood flow freer. In short — that’s why I’m looking younger and living longer. Which of those old people in the pack is as old as me, uh? None. I’m the oldest.”

“In front of everyone.” Mariah’s eyes flash with anger. “No. You told the truth. Big difference.” I shake my head violently, tears spilling all over again. “They were laughing at me, Mariah. All of them. Even Jackson just… stood there.” My throat tightens until it hurts to swallow. “I’m so tired of being the joke.” Mariah takes my hands, forcing me to look at her. “Listen to me. You are not a joke.” “Yes, I am!” The words rip from my chest, jagged and sharp. “I’m the fat girl, Mariah. The embarrassing sister. The one who never fits in no matter what she does. That’s all anyone ever sees when they look at me.”

Just now, the face of the beer belly fat man became very ugly, and he no longer showed his arrogance. This wave of slapping was cruel enough, and it slapped him in the face. Just a minute ago, the fat man with a beer belly yelled that Allen must be pretending to be forced. But they immediately swiped his card and slapped him in the face with the thought that he has a lot of money! For a moment, people's eyes were full of sarcasm when they looked at the fat man with a beer belly. Didn't you just say that his card didn’t have money?

He quickly picked up the spoon, scooped the avocado, then fed it to my mouth. I closed my eyes in contentment, making a blissful expression. "Hmm... It's so smooth, and delicious!" Then I looked at him and said very seriously, "Do you think I'll get fat if I eat like this?" "No! Even if you do, it's okay. I enjoy your plumpness. More cushioning," he said with a wicked smile. "Hey! You're making dirty jokes again! Men are really... Why do you always think about that?" I jokingly scolded him.

Life’s so unfair, man. “What does a spoon matter when we’re literally stuck in the middle of the woods with invisible monsters, shady, bad men and whatever else creeps around here? Can you please, for once, use your brain and kick some sense in the gear?” He whisper-hisses, so red in the face, he reminds me of a tomato. “You could join a casting for vegetable commercials looking like this,” I remark and laugh at the brilliant joke my brain just reacted. Shit, am I not the funniest guy out there? Look at me - sense of humor, looks, body and an impressive spoon collection, I have it all, damn it. No wonder my little vixen couldn’t deny me.

he asked her, giving her an innocent look. “You think you’re very funny, don’t you, you little piece of Gorilla Fart?” she asked him angrily, trying to turn his joke on him. Mac and Tara actually laughed this time. N-1-9-8-9 gave her a dazzling smile. “Ahhh… she is smart,” he said. “And nope, I’m not funny. I just think I’m a little too hot.” Mac took a gulp of his beer. “Left fist or right fist, Yenny. Just say the word and I’ll give it to him,” he offered.