Humor Sarcasm Quotes Novels & Stories

“Darling, it’s not my fault your brain has the depth of a puddle.” She scoffed. “I don’t need your comment, Miss ‘Rude’.” “And I wasn’t even talking to you,” I said flatly. “I meant the drainage leak, not the leak between your legs.” Silence. The room froze. Somewhere at the end of the table, a he-wolf snorted, then quickly looked down when I glared at him. “Well, that was fun. Thanks for breakfast,” I said, standing up gracefully. The blonde’s face turned red, and I walked away with my head held high. Sometimes, sarcasm really was the best spice of the morning.

The cashier is currently wrapping the purchases. "Well, this is what they call little happiness. Gosh! You, you're abnormal. Everyone our age is crazy about W*****d, but you? Jusko, where are your sweet bones, your thrilling flesh? Are you gone?" This is a sarcastic question to me. It's good to fight.

He shouldn't! He chuckled humorlessly. "I so love the way you lie, right straight into my eyes." He said, full of sarcasm. I froze. Oh no...

I asked sarcastically, pointing to the semi-obvious tent forming in his pants. Maya began laughing so hard that she spit out half her drink. “Let me buy you a drink, Blondie,” Joshua said in a gruff voice, intentionally ignoring my taunt. I had not meant to offend him, but something about him put me on edge. Sarcasm and humor had always been some of my defense mechanisms. “No, thank you. I have one.” “Then dance with me.” “No, sorry. I’m not leaving my friend by herself.”

She pulled her friend in for a hug "How do I always end up in these situations?" Lorraine asked, with tears cascading down her cheeks again. She picked up a paper tissue and wiped them off "Do you want me to break his legs?" "Or knock some sense into him?" Maia joked, trying to console her friend. Unfavourable light-hearted humour and sarcasm were her go-to's in uncomfortable situations; she often found that laughter was indeed the best medicine.

"Hey, are you okay?" "Of course. I'm only vomiting my guts out dude!" The woman's wet lips curve upwards in a sarcastic smile. "Nothing to see here, really. Everything is God damn peachy." "Mhm," the corner of my lip rose a little in admiration. "Sarcasm and fiery… two qualities I must say I find rather intriguing in a woman," "Whatever, can you—" the girl waves me off weakly, before she can finish her sentence another round of vomit passes through her lips.

How could he even be so annoying? "Haha, very funny" I said sarcastically as his chuckle persisted. "Alright man, chill out. I was just fucking with you" he said as he forced himself to stop laughing, "Of course you're dashing man. You don't have to take everything so seriously" he said. " Of course I wasn't taking it seriously" I said as I regained my morale, " I already know what a fine man I am. I certainly don't need your approva....... "

" Heavy sarcasm there dude." "It was a joke." He guffawed. " And I'm sorry, my Queen. You are smart. Really smart." "Thank you." "Smarter than the smartest, smarter than those who think they're smart…" "Ethan, that's enough…" "Smarter than the best, smarter than those who think they're really smart but in reality they're just averagely smart…" "That's enough!" I yelled and he wheezed, clutching his stomach. " You seem to be in a good mood today."

Life’s so unfair, man. “What does a spoon matter when we’re literally stuck in the middle of the woods with invisible monsters, shady, bad men and whatever else creeps around here? Can you please, for once, use your brain and kick some sense in the gear?” He whisper-hisses, so red in the face, he reminds me of a tomato. “You could join a casting for vegetable commercials looking like this,” I remark and laugh at the brilliant joke my brain just reacted. Shit, am I not the funniest guy out there? Look at me - sense of humor, looks, body and an impressive spoon collection, I have it all, damn it. No wonder my little vixen couldn’t deny me.

I said and turned back to what I was doing. "I could help you with things you might need ,I have been here way longer than anyone ," he said . "Great so tell me the history ," I said sarcastically and he scoffed. "I am just saying you might need my help, that's all ,I turned abruptly and twisted my foot to the wrong side making me lose balance ,but Mr idiot was able to save me from falling. Great ,note the sarcasm. "Get your dirty hand off me ," I said , breaking free from his stupid embrace.