It's My Fault Novels & Stories

I would've said the same thing naunahan niya lang ako. "Find me? Ha, you don't have to do that because we're coming for you!" And just like that the line went dead. I heaved a deep sigh. I felt so tired just by talking to her. "You alright?" Lucas ask and I found myself asking the same thing. Am I alright? "I'm sorry man it's my fault kaya tayo nandito ngayon." I sincerely apologize. "It's not your fault man it's Amanda and Lyndon's. So don't carry the guilt that you're not supposed to carry." He assured me but I can't help myself.

Hindi ko alam kung anong nagawa ko, kung anong kasalanan ko. "Sandro, sabihin mo sakin anong nagawa ko ple---- "Just shut the fuck up" galit na sabi niya. I looked at him with a pained expression. I badly want to know the reasons, and why he keeps saying it's all my fault. I ran outside habang umaagos ang mga luha ko, pumara ako sa taxi, buti nalang may kunting pera akong natira sa bulsa ko. I sobbed quitely sa loob ng taxi. What did I do to deserve this? Why is this all my fault?? I've never hurt him, ginawa ko lahat para sa kanya. This is too much, it's so sufficating, parang di na ako nakakahinga sa sakit. I want to blame God dahil sa pinagdaanan ko.

“Wala na siya… hindi ko kaya!” Mariin akong napapikit dahil sa narinig ko. Our baby is gone. Our baby didn’t make it. And it’s all my fault. My damn fault! “I’m sorry, honey. I’m really sorry, it’s all my fault. I’m the one who must blame on,” sabi ko sa garalgal na boses habang hindi pa rin ako kumakalas mula sa pagkakayakap sa kaniya.

Hahaha. It’s been years pero mukhang hindi pa rin nila nakakalimutan ang nagyari noon. Mukhang hindi pa rin nawawala sa mga alaala nila ang mga ginawa ko noon. It’s been years pero mukhang hindi pa rin sila nakaka-move on sa mga nangyari na noon. I mean, it’s not my fault naman, right? It’s that stupid, stubborn bitch named Lucilla Uno’s fault, not mine.

“Why can’t you just accept that it’s your fault?” “Paanong naging kasalanan ko? I do not hold their minds! Hindi sila robot na pag pinatay ko ang switch ay kusa silang hihinto! Why is it always my fault? Why does it have to be my fault?” “Because you’re not doing anything about your stupid fans!” I fumed. “Because I didn’t know!” He stood up. Lumayo siya tila nauubusan na ng pasensya. “Because you don’t care, you selfish asshole!” I forcefully made him look my way as he turned his back on me.

Ramdam ko ang sakit na nararamdaman niya. "I'm sorry, alam ko na ako ang may kasalanan ng lahat kung bakit naging ganun si ate. Sorry, Vava sana hinayaan ko na lang siya." Sabi ko sa kanya dahil sinisisi ko ang sarili ko. "No, babe. It's not your fault, hindi mo kasalanan. Kagustuhan ito ni ate, nakakalungkot lang dahil tinapos niya na kaagad ang buhay niya." Saad sa akin ng asawa ko.

Ilang segundo kong inisip ang sinabi niya and when it hit me napatakip ako sa bibig ko. "I'm sorry–" Hingi ko ng paumanhin at magpapaliwanag pa sana pero inunahan na niya ako. "It's not your fault, I was the one who overthink." Aniya. Yumuko pa pagkatapos sabihin iyon. Mahinhin at mahiyain talaga siya.

Kung hindi ako nagpumilit na makauwi ay wala sanang ganito. Ngayon sana ay tahimik lang kami sa bahay at walang inaalala na kung ano. This is all my fault and no one will be blame but me. This is your damn fault, Aurora.

Sunod sunod umagos ang luha ko. "THIS IS ALL UR FAULT. KASALANAN MO ITO SELENA." mas lalo akong yumuko habang sunod sunod umagos ang luha ko. Kasalanan ko ba? Hindi ko naman alam na andon si Lucas e. Hindi ko rin inaasahan na mangyayari ito. Wala ring may gusto ang mangyari ito.

Tanging bra ko ang naiwan at tinignan ang sarili ko sa salamin habang ang kasama ko dumuduwal pa din sa inidoro. This is a disaster! What the heck! "This isn't my fault. No one put a gun in your head and force you to bring me here." Hayag niya ng makasandal sa frosty glass door ng shower room. Uwang ang labi kong hindi makapaniwala sa mga narinig. So, is she saying that it's my fault?? Seriously?? Is she fucking kidding me?? OH damn! Please give me some more patience 'cause I'm losing it...