Orphan Jokes Dark Humor Novels & Stories

he charged. The old man was piqued. "You filthy dog". he scorned. "At least none of my children have been arrested for robbing four different banks". He expected a further attack from the man but, to his consternation, the other drinker roared with laughter, clutching his belly, and flinging his arms and feet wildly in the air. "Look who is talking. At least mine is talented". And he grabbed his belly again, infecting others with his laughter. "Have you also heard of any of my daughters staying with a rich man, only to be faced with the prospect of getting sent back for having cheated.*

’’ Adamie clasped his palms together. ‘‘I’m definitely getting the booze!’’ Andy said. ‘‘Drunk mofo,’’ Adamie replied, ‘‘Y’all remember that time Andy’ got so drunk at Brian’s party then he puked on the buff DJ and got his ass beat?’’ All of them apart from Andy burst into laughter. ‘‘Well, I’m better than fat Robert who passed out after taking two Oxycontine pills then got a dick drawn on his plumpy cheeks.’’ Andy defended.

It wasn't just me who heard what Hubert Lock said. His parents heard them too. Laidman Lock immediately raised a hand and smacked Hubert lightly on the arm, irritation creeping into his voice. "What kind of nonsense are you talking about? Who jokes with their wife like that?" Michelle Lock quickly patted the back of my hand and comforted me softly. "Crystal, don't take it to heart. It's April Fools' Day, isn't it? Hubert was just being thoughtless and making a joke."

He made me laugh, a genuine, bubbling sound that felt good after the fear. “Your turn,” he challenged, when he finished. “Tell me a joke. Something to keep the darkness at bay.” I thought for a moment. “Okay, okay… What do you call a fake noodle?” He raised an eyebrow, a slight smile playing on his lips. “What?” “An impasta!” I delivered the punchline with a flourish, and he actually laughed, a deep, booming sound that warmed the room. “Alright, alright, that was a good one, for a rookie,” he teased. “My turn. Why did the scarecrow win an award?”

Although it was not on record that he killed, murdered, raped or extorted anyone unjustly, but if anyone offends him so much that he says to his followers, ‘no mercy’ then the person would be rendered useless for life whichever way he chooses. He was simply naughty and mischievous by nature. Vera snatched her hand from his grip, which he had grabbed mid-air and spitting out some funny words to him “you dare not touch me now, if you do, Martins will deal with you.” Rohan had never heard such a funny joke in his entire life. Of all the people who can deal with him was Martins. It was the joke of the century; it was so funny to him that he laughed out so hard that his assistant Omar who was on

My smile widened as I mindlessly took off my jacket setting it down on the leather seat. I clung to Dalton chatting with him as Enzo thought it was the time for the like of the day as he called it. It was one of those stupid habits that we had going on as kids and it kinda stuck with us and Enzo was the one with the shittiest and corniest jokes. I braced myself to hear one of his dad jokes, Dalton was holding in his laugh at the eager look on his brother's face already. "What do you call a joke without a punchline?"