So Dumb Jokes Novels & Stories

"Just join me for a drink perhaps?" Her bushy brows rose suggestively at me. She knew my answer, she knew what I'd say. I grabbed the bottle off her scrawny hands and said "You know, for a one time thing, this has become a regular." To be honest, I was actually looking forward to meeting up with her. Not that I was going to admit it to her face. "Like therapy sessions from two dumb, ill-favored kids. Who are trying to give each other easing words." She was right. Though her stumbled movements indicated a slight intoxication. Suddenly, out of the awkward moment, she looked up at me with a sad smile and said. "I might be a street girl but is it too bad to wish for a normal life? Go to proms? Have new clothes? Shelter? Love? Do I not deserve?" Her teary eyes searched deep into my soul. I was unaware of the lack of distance between us. When did we get so close with barely an inch barrier? "Flare..." that was all I could say because then all I could feel were soft lips against mine. Her lips! And it felt so nice. Subconsciously, I grabbed her little body and went for another kiss, this time, a deeper kiss.

My parents made Dana and me settle it with rock-paper-scissors. Loser had to marry the Baillieu heir—the so-called "freak." I won. Then flipped the script. "Cool. I'll take Blake. Dana can have the empire." Last time? I was dumb in love with Michael—Dad's adopted golden boy. Chose the company, stayed behind, and handed Dana off to Blake Baillieu. Big mistake. Six months in, Dana was gone—wrecked by that marriage. Right before she croaked, she texted Michael blaming me. Said I lost the game and ditched the deal, dumping Blake on her. Michael? Snapped. Dude went full psycho. Turns out, he and Dana had been sneaking around for years. He dragged me behind the Baillieu estate and forced a dozen intellectually disabled men to assault me. "If it weren't for your cruelty, Dana would still be alive! You'll pay for everything she suffered!" I was over eight months pregnant—almost due. Begged him to stop. Begged for my baby's life. He didn't care. Kept ordering them to take turns. Even when my water broke, he just watched. Both my baby and I died that night. Now? I'm back. And this time, I rewrote the story. Step one: marry Blake.

“Why do you suddenly want out of this marriage? Who the fuck are you screwing, you dumb bitch?!” “I'm not screw-” I tried to explain, but he was already on me and I screamed as he dragged me up by my neck, his hand so tight on my throat I couldn’t breathe. “Who is it?!” he growled. “Who the fuck would dare!” ---- In a world absent the mate bond, alliances were formed through blood, power, and betrayal rather than fate. Makena Blackwell was born into the mafia's lowest-ranking position, promised at birth to a powerful heir in exchange for her family's survival. She was ready to marry him. But he was ready to destroy her. On the night she was meant to die, however, something impossible happened. A man rose from the icy steel trays of her father’s morgue. He was a stranger, with no memory, no name, and no pulse. And when their gazes met, fate spoke the word they never expected to hear in their lifetime, echoing so loudly in their souls it shook the very fabric of their being. “Mate!” The man the world left for dead wasn’t just anyone; he was the dread every mafia house feared, and he was hers. She was promised to a prince of power… but fate gave her the king of the dead.

My girlfriend suddenly told me she had six small beads implanted inside her, blushing as she said it was meant to please me. The next day, I made soup and brought it to her office. To my surprise, I saw her in the arms of my good friend, Henry Somerset. Henry wrapped his arm around her waist, his voice deep. "Baby, you're such a good girl. You really did the implantation as I told. My dumb friend even thought you did it for him. Do you reckon he'll lose his mind if he finds out you and I are getting married soon?" My girlfriend's voice turned cold. "This is nothing more than a marriage of convenience. I'm warning you not to let Chris find out." Henry chuckled and moved his hand downward. "Don't worry. As long as you keep me happy, I won't get Chris into trouble." After hearing all this behind the door, my entire body went cold. Clutching my phone tightly, I recalled my boss saying he would transfer me to a subsidiary company a few days ago. I no longer hesitated and sent him a text. [Boss, I'd like to be transferred to the subsidiary company in Hailborough City in three days.]

My boss gives me 200 thousand dollars in cash so I can pay his workers their salaries. I leave the house to buy some envelopes to put the money in, but that's when my father lends the money to our neighbor so they can buy a house. I question him about it, but he says I know nothing about forging relationships. Even my mother and brother blame me for not keeping my things properly—they say I'm dumb for leaving money lying around when I know my father likes to lend money to others. Later, my boss fires me but doesn't call the cops. All he wants is for me to repay him. To do so, my father finds me a high-paying job. It's only when I get there that I realize I'm supposed to be an old man's housekeeper. On my first day there, he violates me. I want to call the cops, but my father tells me to be forgiving of him. After that, the old man's daughter thinks I seduced her father and has me beaten to death. When I open my eyes again, I'm back to the day my father lent money to our neighbor.

"Stop right there, Evan! You can't fool me." Grace stretched out her hands to the right and left, preventing her best friend from leaving. "I know you're hiding something." Evan crossed his arms over his chest. "Don't be so confident. And please, know your place. I have the power to replace you with anyone else." He leaned toward her and whispered to her ear. "Or, are you trying to seduce me? How much is your rate for one night?" Upon hearing it, Grace gave him a smack across the face. She was silent for a moment in disbelief. Tears started to roll down her cheeks. "You're so mean, Evan. I-hate-you," she said, heartbroken. She turned away from him without further ado. Evan teared up too, looking at his best friend leaving. "I'm sorry, Grace. I had to do it. We can't be together," he said weakly. Grace and Evan became best friends after he saved her and her mother following a traffic collision. Their friendship grew stronger for years until they became inseparably fond of each other. However, fate played jokes on them. They had to separate for years, lose contact and bury their dreams. When they finally reunited in the same workplace, everything was not the same as it used to be.

Shane is my best kept secret. The more time that passes the tighter my hold on him gets. If my father thinks he can take my right to find my mate from me and sell me off to the highest bitter than he's got another thing coming. I'll take what I want and give the only thing he thinks I have of value to whoever I choose. And who do I choose? I choose Shane. Adea is the air I breathe. I won't let anyone come between us and I won't let the Moon Goddess try and decide who she gets to be with. Whether it be her father or destiny, no one will get in my way. Fate? Mate? These words mean nothing to me. No one wants us together, but the jokes on them, I'll decide my own destiny. Adea Biscoff is that destiny. In a new life where the curse has been broken, can everything unfold how it was supposed to? Will the star-crossed lovers finally have their chance? What happens when Shane remembers everything, but refuses to make the same mistake again? The tables have been turned and Shane realizes who the real villain has been all along. What if in this life, Shane demands she be the one to pay? ! Sexual and physical abuse may be triggering for survivors !

He's the rich, handsome, ruthless alpha heir who wouldn't even spare her a glance. And she’s the girl who secretly crushed on him for years. Azaria Brooke had spent years crushing on her best friend’s older brother Nicholas Sinclair, the pack’s alpha heir. He was a well-known bad boy she-wolves wanted. He lived life on his terms, breaking hearts and rules alike but he had never looked her way. Nicholas on the other had known Azaria was his mate since the moment he caught her scent. But mating means weakness, and weakness has no place in his world. He’s spent years denying the bond, ignoring the fire that burns every time she’s near. He had his reasons and they were valid. Until the night she was attacked. He must choose: break every rule he’s ever set for himself, or risk losing her forever. But then again Azaria was furious. How could he keep this from her when he knew she was the butt of jokes in the Pack? She had refused to forgive him. Now will she forgive him and accept his proposal for a quick marriage to find secrets surrounding her birth and about the woman she calls her mother, who is now a terror in the whole of lycanthropy or will she listen to her Best friend who says her brother is no good for her.

After Edwin’s first love arrived, I left his home without telling anyone. The first week after I left, he didn't care at all. He spent the week doting on her first love, taking her to social gatherings, making people gossip about me being left. The second week after I left, his friends began placing bets on whether I would come back crawling or scheme against Rose and cry for attention. Edwin heard them making jokes about me, and he actually laughed, keeping Rose on his lap. The third week after I left, he tracked me down and barged into my door. “Stop all this drama, Victoria.” He spat, “Rose’s heart is delicate. Your heart is the right match for her. Donate your heart to her, and I’ll marry you.” But what he expected from me, a long confrontation or an ocean of tears, he didn't get at all. “Okay,” I replied, my voice as calm as the ocean. “When is the surgery’s date?” Edwin froze at his place. What he didn't know was that I was not the Victoria he remembered. I had been transported into his world after an accident, and only by fulfilling his hundred wishes could I finally return to my own. And, this was his hundredth wish!

Magic ✅ Undeads ✅ Male Leads ✅ Dumb younger brother ✅ Pandemic ✅ Crazy Cults ✅ Ancient Vampires ✅ Family Secrets ✅ An ex-boyfriend who wants to get back together ✅ After offending the author, a shamelessly narcissistic woman transmigrates into a book and faces the most cliched characters ever. Did she transmigrate into the main character? a side character? A villain? She wasn't that lucky. Being a nameless background character, she's supposed to stop the emperor from getting married to the evil ex-fiance and wage the war? As if the emperor knew anything else other than people! Can she find a way to tame the emperor and give a happy ending to all the characters? Heck yeah! She has too much to lose if she doesn't succeed. However, she has no idea about the secrets of the book that will change her life even after she returns to her world. After returning to her world, Savina only wants to find a job or a rich husband to smooch. But it seems impossible to find a good marriage partner or a good-paying job during the pandemic. The stress is giving her pimples and she has no interest in talking to opinionated animals who have their own views about humans. Can she find a job or a rich husband and live happily ever after?