Stand Up Comedy Teks Singkat

While my boyfriend, Caleb Lawson, is in the shower, I grab his phone on a whim and drop a message in the group chat he's in with his friends. "Guess who I'm with tonight." I expect them to say my name, but their reply blindsides me. "That freshman who used to chase you when you were a sophomore? She's obsessed with you. She's definitely easier than your girlfriend. Want us to swing by tonight?" My gut tells me he's hiding more than an affair. Just as I start scrolling through his messages with the freshman, a notification from her pops up. "Caleb, I agree to the threesome. I'll do anything you want." Seconds later, another message appears in the group chat. "Just be careful this time. We don't need another body on our hands."

It was Sienna and Clyde’s second-year anniversary, at nagplano na isurprise ni Sienna si Clyde sa pamamagitan ng isang dinner sa isang restaurant. Nakaplano na din siyang ibigay ang virginity niya dito na matagal na nitong hinihingi sa kanya, pero hindi siya nito sinipot at hindi sumasagot sa mga tawag niya. Para hindi masayang ang kanyang gabi, naisipan niyang pumunta sa isang bar para mag-enjoy. Tinawagan niya ang bestfriend niyang si Valentina, and just like Clyde, hindi niya rin ito makontak. Iyon pala ay niloloko na siya ng mga ito. At sa bar na iyon ay nakilala niya ang isang estranghero na nagligtas sa kanya sa pambabastos ng mga lalaki noong nalasing siya. His name was Tyler Anderson. Nauwi sila sa isang one-night stand at ito ang nakakuha ng kanyang v!rginity. Wala na sanang problema dahil hindi na sila ulit magkikita. Ang kaso, ninong pala ito ni Clyde. Hindi niya alam kung paano haharapin ang ninong ng boyfriend niya lalo na’t sinabihan din ito ni Clyde na siya din ang maging ninong sa kasal nila. Noong magkasakit ang kanyang tiyahin, si Tyler ang sumagot ng pagpapaopera nito, dahil ayaw siyang tulungan ni Clyde. Para makabayad sa utang niya kay Tyler, inalok siya nito ng one-hundred thousand pesos per session ng kanilang pagniniig, at pumayag siya. Paano niya ngayon mahihiwalayan si Clyde gayong nahulog na rin ang loob niya sa ninong nito?

Tinaguriang most eligble bachelor in town, owned a multi billionaire company pero iyon nga lang wala sa vocabulary ni Archer ang salitang "Relasyon o Marriage" para sa kaniya laro-laru lang ang lahat. Hindi niya na raw kailangan ng babaeng makakasama niya pera lang ang mahalaga sa kaniya. Kung usapang tawag ng laman madali lang sa kaniya iyan dahil may pera siya. Nagbabayad siya ng mga babaeng pera lang ang habol at basta na lang binibenta ang laman para lang sa pera. Pero nagbago ang lahat ng iyon sa isang gabi ng pagtatalik nila ng isang babaeng bayaran, sa lahat ng babaeng naikama niya iyong babaeng iyon lamang na may butterfly tattoo sa likod ang kakaiba para sa kaniya. Hindi niya maipaliwanag ang pakiramdam ng gabing iyon. Kakaibang sarap ang pinaramdam sa kaniya na hindi niya kailanman natikman sa mga naunang naikama niya. Ngunit nagising siya nang wala na ito sa tabi niya at nag-iwan na lamang ng isang sulat bilang pasasalamat sa isang gabi na puno ng ligaya. Binalikan ni Archer kung saang bar niya nakuha ang babae ngunit bigo siyang makita pa ulit ito at hanggang sa kasalukuyan ay pinapahanap niya pa rin ito. Hanggang sa nag-krus ang landas nila ni Choleen, ang pamangkin ng isa sa mga katulong nila. Pinasok ito bilang katulong sa isa sa mga resort nila, Doon na nagsimula ang kwento nila, noong una ay akala niya nangbu-bwesit lang ito dahil sa mga sunod-sunod na kapalpakang ginagawa sa trabaho. Doon niya lang nalaman na wala pala talaga itong alam sa kahit anong trabaho at gawaing bahay. Sa tinatagal-tagal nakayanang pagtiisan ni Archer ang pagiging inosente ni Choleen. Ngunit isang madilim na sekreto pala ang nakabalot sa pagkatao nito, malalaman kaya ni Archer na ang babaeng matagal na niyang hinahanap ay nasa harapan niya na mismo.

I've spent the past seven years by Caleb Hale's side, but I don't have a proper identity. He doesn't seem interested in marrying me, either. Later, he has plans to marry the daughter of the White family in a political marriage. They only have one condition—he must throw away the sandalwood bead bracelet he always wears. Caleb doesn't even bat an eye as he says, "It's just a little trinket, and I've grown sick of it." After that, he throws the bracelet into the annex from his balcony. Coincidentally, the annex later catches fire. Everyone is stunned to see me dash inside to retrieve the bracelet without a care for my safety. Subsequently, someone in the online community reveals that I kneeled in the snow outside Highspire Hall to get that bracelet.

Their marriage was nothing but a bargain. Their love became a battlefield. When fallen heiress Layla Carter is forced into a marriage with Lucian Hilton, the cold and ruthless illegitimate heir of the Hilton empire, all she wants is to save her daughter’s life. Love was never part of the deal. But fate has a cruel sense of humor. The man who once abandoned her that night; the father of her child turns out to be her husband. The woman he thought he could control becomes the one who can destroy him. As old wounds reopen and buried secrets rise to the surface, their fake marriage turns into a dangerous game of passion, power, and revenge, where the line between love and hate blurs, and redemption might come too late.

To get their hands on money so that my younger brother can get married and buy a house, my parents take me to the family tribunal. They show up in ragged clothes, accusing me of being ungrateful and heartless toward my own family. If I'm found guilty, I will be sentenced to life imprisonment. All my assets will go to my parents and my brother. But if I'm not guilty, they will suffer the full backlash instead. I sit on the stand wearing a trendy designer dress and holding a limited-edition handbag. My face full of disdain, I say, "They can sue me all they want! I'd rather die than financially support them!" The court attendees are outraged and start condemning me one after another. But the moment the trial light lights up, everyone freezes in shock.

SOLD TO THE ALPHA FOR A ONE NIGHT STAND When he stepped into view, all my breath left me in one sharp gasp. His presence filled the room, an overwhelming force that took my breath away. He stood tall and confident, his black hair styled back, a few stray strands falling over his forehead, giving him a wild edge. His jaw was strong, a neatly trimmed beard only accentuating his chiseled features. He was devastatingly handsome, but it wasn’t just his looks that affected me, it was the aura around him, the power that radiated from every inch of his body. His eyes locked with mine, and an overwhelming sense of power washed over me. My heart pounded in my chest, racing like I had no control over it. This man wasn’t just anyone. There was something primal in his gaze, something dangerous and alluring. Something...otherworldly.

After I, Rosalie Ricci, was stood up 17 times, the mafia don, Daniel Marino, finally holds the perfect engagement banquet for me. In our second year together, we are ready to get married. But every single time, he has an excuse to hold our engagement off. He says he's busy with work, the timing isn't right yet, or that he isn't quite ready. I never blame him because I love him. I have loved him since our school days. In fact, I have loved him for seven whole years. This is the 18th time. I stand in the banquet hall wearing the gown he personally chose for me and watch as he slips the ring onto my finger. He kisses me with a passionate intensity he has never shown me before. At that moment, I believe that I have finally secured my perfect happiness after waiting seven long years. My happiness only lasts until the guests leave. As I step into the back garden, I see Daniel holding my twin sister, Leah Ricci, in his arms. He says in a hushed voice, "I announced my engagement to Rosalie 18 times. This time, you're finally back." That's when I realize that the engagement banquet that I have longed for is nothing more than a ploy by Daniel to draw Leah back to him. But when I decided to let them be together, Daniel panics.

After catching her boyfriend banging her coursemate, Luna ends up in a club with her friend, in a bid to forget it all. There, she meets this dashing guy who she jumps on without hesitation and requests for wild sex. It was supposed to be a one-night stand— one hell of a one-night stand that gave her shivers, but what she wasn't expecting was to meet him again. Not as the one who helped her brother secure a business deal and the one in whose house she would be spending the next thirty days. His name is Xander Storm— a dashing billionaire and one of the most eligible bachelors in Bayview. The shock goes both ways because the two of them relished the one-night stand and acknowledged that it felt more than one— but weren't expecting to see each other again. What will these thirty days be like? Will they pretend it never happened, or will they give in to the growing feelings that gnawed at their hearts? What will Xander's growing feelings for Luna mean for his revenge against the death of his parents, and for his enemies?

Warning: Matured Content 18+ You do not want me to repeat myself, now strip.” She tried to stop me from touching her, but I only end up hitting her in the face because I can no longer control myself. I forcefully rip off her dress and begin to touch her everywhere and damn, she tastes so exquisite. She is so f**king tight, making me slam in forcefully so that she can feel my whole. Who keeps her virginity at this age? I wanted to please her as well, but I can't help but pleasure myself seeing how tight she is, making me slam so hard and harder every time. Once I was done, I order her to get out. She would learn to fear me that way After being sold of to a wealthy ruthless and heartless billionaire, Lila became the shadow of herself as she was constantly humiliated by her so called husband who finds nothing wrong in letting another man on top of his wife. Lila was never loved by her family nor husband. What would happen when her husband let another man taste his wife? What will happen when Lila realized her husbands friend whom she hated just had her?