You're So Old Jokes Novels & Stories

Before the old woman could say anything, her husband immediately looked unhappy and said, “What the f*ck? Are you planning on hitting us, perhaps? Come on then! You weren’t even born when I was out fighting our enemies in the war last time! Come on then, you little sh*t! Bring it on!” The salespeople were completely stunned, as neither of them had ever thought that the old man would be a war veteran. However, Jade suddenly laughed mockingly. Meanwhile, Javier did not seem to show the old man any mercy as he scornfully said, “I don’t mind you trying to seem all tough, but can you make your lies seem more convincing? You’re currently 60 years old, aren’t you? Even if you were 70, the war would

He teased, chuckling a bit. “I’m the assisting celebrant. Did that elude you?” “Hahaha! Okay, okay, you win. What do you have for the old man?” “Old man? Come on, you’re not even forty yet.” “May, anything older than twenty-five is already considered old age by me. Oh, I forgot, I’m the old one here. As for you, you’re still basking in the joy of youthfulness.” The conversation was getting longer than planned and Marilyn was already shooting me a funny look, but that only made me let out a loud laugh.

"Like over ninety years in the past." "I forget you guys are so fucking old," I chuckled. Maybe I could goad them into a response. "Who are you calling old? I'm not old," Ragnar argued. "You're over a hundred. That's old, buddy," I retorted teasingly. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't know what it's like where you're from, but we're nowhere near old around here. I'm sure I could find a woman around here to assure you, I'm nowhere near old," Ragnar bragged.

I asked, highly disappointed, and morphed my face into a disgusted, unimpressed look. "Probably 110 years old. I don't keep tabs on my age." He shrugged, answering it casually. "WHAT!? Wait so you're like really old? Like a grandpa who went through plastic surgery??" I was beyond shook. "I'm not old!" He said, sounding offended. "110 is old! You want me to say how young that is because it's not! OMG! My mate is some oldie moldy wizard." He sent me deadpanned look. Flexing his jaw as he took into what I spoke.

Vincent pov I laugh so hard my eyes water. I haven't heard anything so ridiculous and stupid in a long time. The last time someone made me laugh like that was in high school. But the look on my Beta's face can only mean how serious his question was. I wipe away my tears and straighten my posture. Like a kid trying to look serious, I clear my throat a few times before speaking up. "That was a great joke, my friend, but warn me next time before you try to say something so absurd. One of these days, I might choke on a piece of food and die. Do you want it?" I raise an eyebrow at him.

The jolt of electricity that surged through my arm and into the rest of my body at the way he grabbed my wrist, brought me back to the first day he touched my arm in high school. Quickly, ridding the memory away before my mind has the chance to relive how the rest of that day went, I decided to tease him back. "I know a guy with a little dick that sounds like an owl," I say, hoping I get the response I need to not look like an insane person right now. He raises his brow, this thumbs thrumming against the steering wheel. "Huh? Who?" "Exactly," I smirk, silently exhaling in relief at his answer so that I was able to finish the lame joke.

"I'm sorry I'm late, CeCe." The moment those words—sounding especially respectful and familiar—left Terrence's lips, the whole private room fell silent. Everyone's eyes widened, as if they couldn't believe what they'd just heard. After a brief silence, Vanessa suddenly burst into loud, shrill laughter. "CeCe? Oh my goodness, that's hilarious!" She pointed at me, her face full of disdain and contempt. "I knew it! How could a fresh graduate like you possibly land a client as tough as Gilla Group on your own? Turns out all you did was just climb into Mr. Kapowsky's bed!"

Then someone in the crowd sneered, their voice dripping with sarcasm. "Oh, that must be Sophia's sugar daddy. Showed up to defend her. She's not picky, is she. She'll take a guy in his fifties." The crowd erupted. Some covered their mouths, laughing. Others joined in openly. "Yeah, I heard she doesn't care about age. Maybe this old man's a regular too." The dean's expression tightened. He turned sharply toward the crowd. "All of you–shut your mouths!" He glanced at my injuries, his voice urgent.

Elle asks. "Maybe the type that does not like to be called a grandmother." I say scathingly. "Wow, that hurts. It is not my fault that I do not want to feel old. Do I look that old?" She asks sarcastically. "No you don't but now you are going to be a great grandmother." I joke as I stick my tongue out at her.

one of the other Elders wondered making the rest laugh. These old men don’t even have teeth at the back. How the fuck do they still laugh in sync together in perfect harmony ? Although their laughs are too shrill for men to have. Ughh. Stupid whiny voice boxes. “Looks like she will be worth more dead than alive afterall,” another remarked and the rest of the assholes guffawed even louder at that. “She is nothing ! If she were in my toilet I wouldn't even bother flushing it. My bath mat means more to me than her,” another scumbag commented and then noises similar to cackling geese echoed throughout the place.