เสียครั้งแรกไปแล้วไง ก็สอบติดได้เหมือนกัน

ROSE

You know when they say, "Don't trust too much"? I think most times, they are supposed to drag me by my hair and scream it directly into my goddamn ears.

"I trust too much. I fucking do," I muttered under my breath.

I was not even angry. I swear I was not. Or should I be, when all the signs had been glaring at me for months and I had chosen to ignore them? In that moment, I was just disgusted. It felt as though my mind had been preparing me for this without me even realizing it, because I was supposed to fall to my knees and cry like a baby, which was what I always did in tough situations. But I was standing tall, my eyes staring straight at them, and my mind was doing all the talking.

"Yes, baby. Harder."

A chuckle mixed with a moan brought me back to reality, the same reality that had me standing at my husband's office door, trying to understand why they would choose to do this to me. Of course, they knew I would be deeply hurt. Who would not be? So why?

The question echoed in my ears, and the more it repeated, the more I wished I could find an answer. I peeped into the room again, my hand gripping the doorknob so tightly that my fingers hurt. My face twisted at the sight before me.

"I bet your boring wife can't make you feel this way," Maya said, hissing between her teeth. "I don't know why you got married to her. She's so boring, always tying her hair into a bun like the dummy she is."

"You know we were both drunk that night," Steve said. "And you were here when she showed up with that pregnancy result. What was I supposed to do? Let her give birth to that girl out of wedlock? My family would never allow it. It would dent the image of my family, and you know I can't afford that."

Steve explained himself like a man who had been given a job to justify what he had done, or die trying. My hand curled into a fist, and I felt even more sick. It was like a foul odor had been blown past me by a whirlwind.

Maya chuckled, pulling Steve's head closer to her chest as she traced her long, painted nails from his chin down to his chest like he belonged to her. I did not even care. I hissed again, and my hand started pulling the door closed. I told myself I was done watching them try to eat each other alive, but then I stopped, my body freezing as anger surged through my chest, making me feel as though I was suffocating at what I heard Steve spit out next.

"Most times, I'm made to doubt that cock-and-bull story. I can't drive the thought out of my head that she drugged me that night and pinned her pregnancy on me because of my family name and wealth."

Maya laughed. "You mean Annie is a bastard child?"

That was it. The last bit of my patience snapped.

They could decide to lick each other's asses while they fucked around and cheated on me, and I did not care. But bringing my daughter into their discussion with their immoral tongues and daring to call her a bastard? I was not going to take that.

The door swung open and slammed against the wall. For a split second, they separated, with Maya swiftly getting to her feet and trying to arrange her clothes.

"Rose, what are you doing here?" Maya's voice came out small and panicked as she tried to approach me.

I wanted to ask her the same thing. I remembered when she had pleaded with me to speak to Steve, my husband, about a secretary position at his office a year ago, and now she had gone behind my back to sleep with him. The thought made a small laugh escape my mouth, and I decided not to spare her another second of my time.

They cheated and talked trash about my daughter. That was the end. I did not care that I had nothing figured out in that moment. This was the last time they would have the chance to hurt me like this.

I walked toward Steve, his shirt loosened at the chest, a reminder of what I had just witnessed. I did not want to waste any more time. I reached for the ring on my finger, the same ring Steve had used to promise that he would love and protect our daughter and me three years ago when we got married. I pulled it off and slammed it against his chest. The ring clattered to the ground, and I did not flinch. I did not care anymore.

I looked straight into his eyes and said the one thing I had not even known I would ever say. "Steve Santios, I'm done with you. I'm done with this marriage."

"Rose, really? Don't let your pride get the best of you. You don't have anywhere to go. You don't even know anywhere around here. You only know me and Maya, your best friend..."

My mind was already made up. I was at the door, and I did not stop. I walked out and shut it behind me. The door did not open after me, and they did not chase after me, not that it would have changed my mind anyway.

Once outside the office building, I flagged down a taxi, and in less than thirty minutes, I was home. No, actually, it was the place I had known as home for the past three years. Anyway, it stopped being my home today. I moved as fast as I could toward the bedroom, and a few minutes later, I had a bag containing my few belongings in one hand. I walked out of the house without bothering to look around one last time, and soon I was in another taxi, heading to my daughter's school.

The moment Annie saw me, she ran into my arms. My anger increased when I remembered what those two had said about her in that office, and I inhaled deeply and whispered to myself that I was doing the right thing. I might have nowhere to go and no one to turn to, but that did not mean I would stay.

"Mama, are you okay?" Annie's tiny voice whispered in my ear, and a tiny tear slipped from my eye.

Within the hour, I was at the train station. The violent wind blew my hair across my face as I held Annie close, and we arrived three hours later. I did not need to count. I remembered the journey well enough, even after three years. Nostalgia hit me the moment I stepped off the train, and Annie clasped my right hand while I dragged my bag with the other. I felt like crying, but I dared not. I had to be strong, if not for anything else, then for my three-year-old daughter. Start life again here with Annie, I told myself. I did not have anyone in Vance, the great city, but I had my whole childhood here.

I was about to cross to the other side of the road to get a bike since that was the only means of transportation around here. Panicked voices filled the air, a motorcycle screeched around the corner, and before I could react, I was on the ground with Annie hugged tightly against my chest. A hand reached down and pulled me up, and I looked up to see the very eyes I never expected to see again. My heart stopped.

"Ry...der?"