Deer Blind Dad Jokes Novels & Stories

he says, sounding serious. “Remember when you and Owen called him Lord Fart Face for an entire year?” Dean asks. I laugh. “And you were Captain Shart Pants. You got so pissed every time we called you that. So naturally we said it as often as possible.” “Because I never sharted.” “We were driving home from visiting Aunt Mary. We all smelled it for the two-hour car ride,” Dad says, and we all laugh.

he says, raising a beer to his lips, “I’m not, but I have to say – if I was one of the gays? I wouldn’t kick him out of bed.” Janeen and I howl with laughter as Daniel’s jaw drops. My dad gives Daniel a wink and then takes a long sip of his beer. “Good looking kid,” dad murmurs, chuckling and coming into the living room, giving Daniel a pat on the shoulder as he goes.

my Dad said when he saw that Thomas couldn't control his laughter. My Dad saw that Thomas's current action was bringing attention to both of them and he wasn't happy about it. "Maybe a little knowledge of the main reason why you are laughing so hard at my joke would do well," My Dad said and Thomas concluded his laughter and changed his expression to a serious one. "Well, now that it's obvious that you have been completely deceived I can't say much to you before my court case," Thomas said with a serious determined expression. "What do you mean by that?" My Dad said curiously, still stressing the issue far.

One I swear would send the boy to the moon if Dad was not holding on to him. No stifling the snort of my laugh or give of my knees on that one. Just as soon as I think it’s going to end, and the small café becomes a bright but small place of nothing more than held breaths as the trailing fart rares right back up again. Leaving Dad to drop his head on the counter. “You’ve never told Dad about barking spiders, Wee Man?” I manage a half straight face, probably as red as Dad, when I ask the all together happier kid making squishy sounds in his full britches.

I hurled out every effing thing inside my gut. “Damn ! Where did you guys go to party ?” Dad Lucan said as he used his powers of Alchemy to soothe me down. Dad B must have mindlinked him to come up to the washroom. “That is not because of alcohol, dipshit,” Dad B chided Dad J. “What is it then ? Oh God ! Is that deer meat ?” Dad J asked mildly- umm …. horrified ? “Yeah ! We went to hunt together and the poor pup won’t stop spilling her guts out since then,” Dad B worriedly said.

Even Hunter was being a complete sweetheart, and that was why we were here sitting at my parents' table having a family dinner. "So tell me, why can't the leopard hide?" Dad asked, putting down his fork. Mom let out a groan. "Not again, Joseph!" I let out a chuckle as old memories revived in my mind. "Why, dad?" Dad ran his eyes over us curious spectators. "Because he's always spotted!" Mom and I bursted out laughing. "Another one, another one. What did the baby corn ask the mama corn?" "Where's popcorn?" I replied with a smug.

“Is that okay?” “Yeah?” Dizen wasn't so sure if that would satisfy his father or he will throw another corny joke. Whatever it is it's not on him, it's up on his father. They all looked at the old mister Lopez when they heard him cleared his throat after that he let out a big smile on his mouth. Maybe that was the sign they are waiting to see. They remain quiet soon as old Mr. Lopez started speak. “That was a joke, but let me tell you another one.”

“Because he had too many ruff days.” For a moment, I just stare at him, completely dumbfounded. Then, against all odds, a short laugh escapes me. It’s brief, more a huff of air than anything else, but it’s there. If the situation were different, I would laugh and compare his dad jokes with that of Dixie's.

Dad cut the doctor off on time before the doc could start d*cking about complicated medical shit with terms we could not understand. “Try to save your breath, doctor coz we understand only English,” Dad grinned and the doctor rightfully turned beetroot red. “Spare us the scientific nonsense, ex lover. Don’t show everyone that show off is your middle name,” Mom exasperatedly said. Ex lover ? Woah !! No wonder Dad jokes about Doctor Anderus stabbing him on the examination table. Haha.

he said and she grunted at him in disapproval. "Anyway, Sierra aren't you happy to see me, I mean us," he said after mom glared at him to correct himself. "No, I mean yes, maybe. AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD?" I shouted and they looked at each other for a brief second and mom turned to look at me. They burst into laughter. "She thought we were dead," dad said as they continued in hysteric laughter. I only got more confused by this. Dad glanced at mom as they gradually caught their breaths and stopped laughing. "Anyway, my Sierra bear, this is a story that needs a few hours to tell. There’s a lot we got to tell ya." Dad said motioning for the three chairs near the wall of the cave.