Funniest Military Stories นิยาย & เรื่องราว

The room was filled with an infectious energy, a blend of friendship, humor, and the thrill of discovering life’s unpredictable beauty. As the night wore on, our conversation grew more relaxed and playful. We swapped stories of our most embarrassing moments, each tale wilder than the last. I recounted the time I had accidentally walked into the wrong classroom and sat through an entire lecture before realizing my mistake. Favour shared a hilarious anecdote about a disastrously overcooked dinner in her first shared apartment, and Gift boasted about her uncanny ability to misplace her phone even when it was in her hand.

"I will let you attend tomorrow's meeting if you promise not to be offended by all the talk about how this is not the place for women. It will be loud and raucous. I suppose a brothel is more humane than some of the things that we do to women here. Most of them are here for torture as prisoners of war or worse. This is a part of our job as well as it is important for us to have information and intelligence of the invading enemy." "There is little left that will shock me. Please rest assured that I will not be offended by soldiers who wish to speak of their adventures and work. It's all in good fun. This is a military installment after all. Most of war is deception anyways and benefit

so casually and not apologize for it shocked me. He set his beer down and wiped his mouth again. “They were hard fellas, Nate. Machines. I’d like to think us regular Army boys were pretty tough. I held my own, and I knew plenty fellas in my platoon that were braver’n tougher’n crazier’n me. Those Green Berets, though . . . I’m not even sure they was human by the time they pulled us outta there. Fact, I heard plenty stories ‘bout how bunches of ‘em slipped off into the jungle when the final orders came to pull out, and no one ever saw nor heard from ‘em again.” “What was wrong with them, Dad. Were they . . . bad?”

CANNON EASY PEASY, LEMON FUCKING SQUEEZY. Except it wasn’t that easy, not by a long shot it wasn’t. “In the army huh. My cousin was a seal of some sort, five years in the TEAMS and he came back as a nutjob”, Ted or Jake ( I couldn’t fucking tell them apart anyway) said and I swallowed his insinuation of ‘ all military men are fucking nuts’ with a small forced smile. Try watching your pals blow into smithereens and then tell me how you would react after. We weren’t necessarily whack in the head but whatever shit we saw in the open field stayed imbued in us like a fucking drug.

I was dumbfounded when I remembered the ad at the airport. "Alpha, Alpha," I called after the man running after him and his Beta. I heard him curse and stop while the Beta laughed. "What is it?" Alpha Moon asked me, sounding Impatient, and I sighed. "I just came in from Geneva, and I want to join the military here," I said, and both he and the Beta began to laugh. "The military isn't for your kind," he said, and I was offended. "And what kind is accepted in the military?" I asked him, and he turned toward me and smiled.

We're hunkered down till morning. Rain hit like a freight train, wind howling through the palms. We cooked canned beans over a gas stove, the hut lit by lantern flicker. Conversation flowed easier than I expected, him sharing war stories (sanitized, of course), me venting about city life, the emptiness after the funeral. His laugh was rare, deep, sending vibrations through me when he leaned close to pass the salt.

He was not himself. “Oh, how I loved it when he screamed in pain when I nailed his fingers. It looked so adorable when he screamed.” And he laughed like a crazy person. And what I could only do was just shake my head in disbelief. “Should I tell you more, how I made him eat the flesh of his fellow loyal men after I starved him for a whole month?” He shook his head like a psycho in amusement who was delighted about telling the stories of his sins.

“So you’re stronger than a fictional person. Big deal.” “It’s not actually,” he laughed. "It's just sort of… weight. It's just physics." Another shrug. "I remember one time in Kandahar, my Humvee got flipped in an ambush. I shouldn't have made it out, but my captain did and he helped me out. Now my friend was stuck inside. I couldn’t leave him in so I grabbed hold of the underside of the Humvee and held it up long enough for him to pull out free before the truck exploded." He wasn’t looking at me anymore. He was somewhere else entirely. His voice got quieter, flatter as he stared in space.

I don't think I will be able to forgive myself if another person gets hurt because of me again. "A little shot on an arm is not fatal." He stated flatly, making me clench my teeth so hard that they hurt, "And these scars-" He looked down on his body, my eyes following his movements, "I was in the military and they are pretty common amongst the soldiers. They are a great honor. I fought for my country and whenever I look at them, I am reminded of all those times. Those were the best times of my life."

Covering our ears at the explosion that shattered the caves and buried the Insurgents inside forever. By the time the ‘Authorities’ arrived to put out the fire, Jack and I were curled up in our bed fast asleep. The next morning we strolled across to the Mess for breakfast where the soldiers were quick to inform us of the ‘accident’ that had led to the demise of ten of the most wanted men in Afghanistan. They told us it appeared that the Insurgents had used the caves to store their weaponry and a carelessly thrown cigarette butt had ignited it blowing them all to Hell, much to the delight of the Regiment. Jack and I pretended surprise and feigned pleasure at their deaths but we felt ne