Funny Inspirational Quotes

A business trip took an unexpected turn when our plane ran into disaster. While everyone else was penning their last words, I, an orphan with nothing to lose, decided to have a little fun with my miserly boss. “Boss, let’s keep this short—I like you.” “I really, really like you.” “Boss, this is a final goodbye.” Just when all hope seemed lost, the captain pulled off a miracle with his years of experience, saving us from the brink of catastrophe. By the time we landed safely, I was still in a daze until I saw my boss, eyes bloodshot, storming toward me, flanked by a wall of black-suited bodyguards.

My daughter’s kindergarten held a family event, and I rushed there, only to see her holding hands with my wife’s male secretary. “Daddy,” she said, “I wish our family could stay like this forever.” I watched as the three of them hugged, radiant with happiness. Suddenly, exhaustion washed over me. Later, I filed for divorce. Then I left to teach in rural villages for thirty years. If I couldn’t light the lamp in my own home, I’d at least illuminate the path for others.

At two in the morning, when the pack elders' urgent summons came, I had just crawled out from beneath my childhood sweetheart, the Alpha heir Slade. My body was still aching from his rough possession. As the only human healer in the entire Blackwood Pack, I was ordered to prepare herbs as a gift for Slade's marriage alliance with the Thorne Pack. I gently lifted Slade's arm from where it was wrapped around me. After a night of passion, his powerful Alpha body was still radiating a feverish heat. I assumed this was just another wolf princess he needed to turn away, so I poked his chest playfully and asked with a smile, "Slade, what excuse are you going to use the 99th time? That you've suddenly developed an allergy to the princess?" He rolled over and kissed my forehead, his eyes heavy with sleep. "My sweet girl, this time the herbs must be prepared by you, and you alone. The success of this alliance rests on your shoulders." I froze. For the past ten years, I had been his secret solace, the one who soothed his violent rages every night. I thought I would earn a formal bonding ceremony, sooner or later. But in that moment, I understood. I was just a convenience, a body for him to use. If that was all I was to him, then I would burn everything we had to the ground. I made a call to my old mentor at the National Institute of Medicine, Professor Sterling. "Professor, that research position regarding gene... is it still open? I'm ready to return to the human world." But when that arrogant Alpha, who claimed we were 'just friends' and 'strictly professional,' discovered he could no longer catch even a faint scent of me in the air, he completely lost his mind.

Our place was hit by an earthquake. I was crushed by a slab of stone, but my wife, leader of the rescue squad, abandoned me in favor of her true love. She said, "You're a soldier. You can live with a little injury. Felix can't. He's always been weak, and he needs me." I was saved, eventually, and I wanted to leave my wife. I agreed to the chip research that would station me in one of the National Science Foundation's bases deep in the mountains. My leader was elated about my agreeing to this research. He grasped my hand tightly. "Marvelous. With you in our team, Jonathan, this research won't fail! But… you'll be gone for six whole years. Are you sure your partner's fine with it?" I nodded. "She will be. I'm serving the nation here. She'll understand." The leader patted my shoulder. "Good to know. The clock is ticking, so you'll only have one month to say your goodbyes. That enough for you?" I smiled. "More than enough."

My fiancé, Skyler Grant, barges into the art gallery where my work is being exhibited and trashes the place. "You plagiarized Leah's work and pushed her to jump off a building! I can't believe you have the gall to have an exhibition here! I have to seek justice for her!" He sets the gallery on fire, leading to stray glass shards damaging my eyes. I'm tormented by the pain of losing my work and vision when Leah Rivers returns. She says indifferently, "It was April Fool's yesterday, and I was just fooling around. You're not mad at me, are you?" I charge at her hysterically, but Skyler shields her. "They're just some canvases—so what if they're gone? You can paint them again." He has no idea that I'll never paint again.

A Rage Curse swept through the werewolf world. Only an Alpha strong enough to fight it could keep his throne. I was Alpha Liam’s personal alchemist. For nine years, I brewed "Serenity," the only potion that held back his curse. I dragged his pack, Silverclaw, from a back-alley crew to a pharma empire. I turned him from a rabid dog into a king. Liam promised me the Chief Alchemist title. He promised me millions in profit sharing the day the potion went public. But on his coronation day, he gave it all to Chloe, a she-wolf who’d just joined the pack. All because she was high-born. The perfect face for the pack's new image. And me? I was just a lowly Omega. I confronted him. He crushed me with his Alpha aura. "You're an Omega. Be grateful I even let you stay. Without me, rogues would've torn you to shreds by now!" I walked out before he could throw me out. We’ll see who gets torn to shreds first. But I know one thing. Without my potion, that power he's so proud of... will turn him back into the rabid animal he truly is.

I had a perception disorder that messed with how I saw and felt stuff. So when I got dropped into a horror game, everyone else freaked out trying to survive— Me? I thought I was in a dating sim. I raised a young fae like she was my kid, fell for the vampire count, and treated the undead like my in-laws. The first time I saw the vampire—face torn up, soaked in blood—I straight-up blushed. "You're really handsome." He froze. Then, low and uncertain: "Am I... really handsome?"

Three months after my baby was born, I found out my husband, Joe, was cheating. The other woman? Hailey. Pregnant and smug. Joe actually got on his knees, begging for a divorce. I said yes. Until I could find a place, Joe's mom, Claudia, let me stay at the house. "Hailey," Claudia said, "you'll handle all the household responsibilities now." Hailey, all fake enthusiasm, chirped, "I'll take good care of this family!" Claudia replied, "Great. You'll start your day at five making breakfast. When Luca's hungry, you'll feed him and change his diapers. Once he's down for a nap, clean the house, grocery shop, and prep lunch. Laundry in the afternoon, tea service mid-day, then bathe Luca and cook dinner. After that, you'll put him to bed." Hailey's face? Priceless.

My neighbor is a physics genius. He's spent the past six months preparing for an important physics competition. However, he wants to skip it to care for his girlfriend, who has a fever. I tell his parents about it. So, he's forced to participate in the competition. He wins first place and is admitted to Quinver University. Later, he establishes his own business and finds success. I become one of his employees. He looks down at me imperiously in a dim basement. He stomps on my fingers, shattering them. "You deserve this for being so wicked, Larissa Clarke." When I open my eyes again, I'm taken back to before any of this ever happened.

On the day of my daughter Eleanor Baldwin's second birthday party, my entire family stood nervously by the banquet hall entrance. They were not there to greet guests, but rather to keep me from showing up and causing a scene. Mom's face was written all over with anxiety. "Lucas wouldn't actually crash the party, would he?" Dad's brow stayed tightly furrowed. "Who knows? That disgrace of a son is capable of anything." My younger brother, Cody Baldwin, had his arm wrapped gently around my wife, Kendra Clarkson, trying to reassure her. "Don't worry. If Lucas dares to show up, I'll keep you and Ellie safe." Kendra nodded slowly. "If it really comes to that... maybe we should just let Ellie be his goddaughter. At least then, we're still family..." However, the party came and went, and I never appeared. I had already made up my mind to join a classified national defense research program. Only this time, it was for good.