Funny Textbook Quotes Novels & Stories

"Then I suggest you keep your mouth shut, you fucker. You touch any one of them and I'll blaze you straight to whatever you consider hell." Tove leaned forward. "It's a movie quote, Hols. He was being funny." She shook her hands, let the bright light dissolve. "Right. I knew that." "You live on Earth, and you didn't know that was a movie quote? Did you grow up under a rock?" the twin with light brown eyes said. Cheeks turned to him. "No. I grew up in a nudist cult. Where did you grow up that you know the movie quote?" She jutted her chin up.

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said, "I outlived the buggers." Memorable Quotes "Scattered showers my ass!" Noah. "I have no problem with you talking to yourself as long as it doesn't turn into an argument" Woody Allen. "If at first you don't succeed try, try again. Then quit. There's no point being a damn fool about it." W.C.Fields. "The one thing that all porn stars have in common is a dread of filming the scenes that don't involve sex" Fanny Lightfoot (Porn Movie Director) "For every human problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong." H. L. Mencken

“But I don’t see anything funny in degrading a marginalized group of people for laughs.” “Then tell the class a joke that is funny,” Professor Barns demanded. I shook my head. “I can’t think of any good jokes right now.” “Take a few moments to think of your best joke, stand up, and tell it to the class,” he insisted. “You obviously think you’re an expert on what’s humorous, so let’s hear what one of you bleeding heart Beta-lovers thinks is funny.” My mind spun, and I began to shake. The smug look on Professor Barns’s face told me he wanted to embarrass me to get me to do something stupid. Perhaps to get expelled or, at the very least, cry and run away.

“It’s my favorite subject. I can tutor you if you want.” “You must love studying. I’m guessing you’re from 7-Mercury.” “I am. You?” “7-Uranus.” “How is it over there?” “Sucks. The only thing it’s good at is being the punchline of the cornball joke.” “What cornball joke?” “‘Where’s your class?’” Francine did a mock dialogue. “‘Ur-anus.’”

An Taotao supported her chin and almost fell asleep. It was not until the bell rang that An Taotao felt alive. "Am I right? Is the professor of literature very serious and terrible?" Zhou Mi asked. An Taotao has become accustomed to her enthusiasm, curtsied her lips then laughed, "He’s super serious. I just felt that the professor glared at me, probably because I didn't have a textbook." "Literature professors hate students who don't bring textbooks. Once he finds out, they will be pulled out to make a penalty. Fortunately, you have me." Zhou Mi patted her chest, her small chin was raised.

He laughs but shuts up. “Ok, listen, while we are on the topic of quotes, I have some funny, sarcastic ones,” he says and opens his phone to read some. “Two wrongs, don’t make a right, take your parents as an example,” I laugh. I can use it on anyone who messes with my friends. “Tell me more,” I urge him. “Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs,” I chuckle.

He calmly answers her. "I like to do a little game called guess the quotes of famous philosophers. Since you and Miss Patterson like to converse so much in an argument. I figured you two would be the perfect candidates... for our first quiz, so I'm making it an oral exam. You can either partake in the exam along with Sophie, or you can both sit here after school in detention to continue your playful discussion. You can start by using the quotes written on my board." He and I turn red in embarrassment, but nonetheless, he turns to me and wimnks an eye with a bright smile."

I replied to him again. "Hold on Sarah. You mean to tell me that you read Paul Tipler's book and not the basic Physics textbook?" I nodded. "What the fuck!" He muttered impulsively. Then he started to laugh hysterically. "That's impossible. You almost got me there." He laughed so vigorously, whereas nothing was funny. "I'm not joking." I stated clearly. It was so hard for him to believe obviously and he has to run an analysis. He asked me questions from certain pages of the textbook which I answered intelligently.

He complained as he went to the kitchen to fix us tea. “Come on. I’m behind on my studies because there’s some wack teacher in your place.” I replied him and flipped through the pages of one of the textbooks we purchased at the bookstore. “Woah! What’s the name of this textbook.” I exclaimed in awe, closing it and checking its name. “Why? It’s good?” He asked, turning towards me. “Freaking good!” I squealed. “It has detailed explanations. This is something that even you doesn’t emphasize on during class. Should I say a textbook is better than you?” I teased, placing my finger on my chin.

"So this means that the price increased skyrocketedly." The English teacher said after reading out a short passage from our English textbook and the whole class burst into laughter. "Eeh eeh. Ebo yii naani." Someone shouted from the back of the class and the laughter heightened. I couldn't help the smile the formed on my lips. "Isaiah, don't be an ignoramus idiot." The teacher cautioned and the laughter heightened again. The man was speaking through his nose and it was difficult making out what he was saying, especially with his big grammars and all.