Humorous Sarcastic Quotes Novels & Stories

"You're too weak to be my Luna." Those were the words that shattered Erin Arckwight's world. Rejected publicly by her mate - the Alpha of her own pack - she did what any broken wolf would do. She ran straight into the Forbidden Forest, the one place most wolves never venture into. But what most people do not know is that the Forbidden Forest doesn't break you. It remakes you. When Erin descends into the feral state that all werewolves fear, she doesn't lose herself. Instead, she awakens an ancient power that's been sleeping in her bloodline for three thousand years. And she's not alone. Kade Thornhart, the scarred and dangerous leader of the feral pack, doesn't trust the stubborn, sarcastic girl who stumbles into his territory. But he can't deny the fire in her amber eyes or the way his wolf claims her as his. She was rejected by an Alpha. Now she'll be claimed by something far more dangerous.

What Anna Belle Vasquez wants, she gets. That’s why when she meets the cold, vicious and heartless varsity swimmer of UC, Kristoff Liam Mendez, she already marked him as her target. Hell or High Water, he will be hers. The problem is, Kristoff doesn't want Anna Belle to dominate him, won't look her way and he hates her to death. In the end, she gets rejected. Five years have passed, and they meet again. The worst, Belle becomes his secretary. Can she still get him and own him? Or will he be her sweetest karma? *** Excerpt: “I… I thought you like me too,” It came out as a whisper. I didn’t know why I felt like crying. I heard him let out a sarcastic laugh. “Like? You? I told you many times that I hate you. It doesn’t mean that I fuck you; I already like you, Belle. I admit it was good. But that’s just it. It’s just sex. No feelings at all.”

On the day Owen Mercer and I get married, I place our marriage certificate beside our candlelit dinner. Just as I'm about to take a picture and upload it to social media, Owen suddenly says, "This certificate is fake." I freeze. A woman's startled voice comes through his phone, "Hey! Why did you tell her so soon? You ruined all the fun!" Owen frowns in frustration. "She's been completely clueless this entire time. Is there really any reason to keep pretending? Fine. You win the bet, Ms. McCoy. Are you satisfied now?" But my post has already been shared on social media. Everyone is sending their congratulations to Owen and me, celebrating that we have finally tied the knot after seven years together. The woman on the other end leaves a sarcastic comment, just like how she used to bully me back in the day. "Wow, look at you two finally making it official! So when's the reception? Hehe!" After a moment's thought, I respond, "Next week."

BLURB All Aria Scott wanted was relief from a stupid allergy rash. What she got instead… was Dr. Nolan Edison. Cold. Brilliant. Irritatingly handsome—and completely immune to her charm. Most men fall for Aria’s sunshine energy in seconds. Nolan? He shuts her down with a single word: no. But Aria has never backed down from a challenge. Between fake appointments, accidental run-ins, and very intentional flirting, she’s determined to crack the grumpy doctor’s perfectly controlled world. And the more she pushes, the more cracks begin to show. Because behind Nolan’s icy exterior is a man with a past he refuses to face… and feelings he definitely shouldn’t be having for his most chaotic patient. He knows she’s trouble. She knows he’s hiding something. And somehow, between sarcastic banter, stolen moments, and undeniable chemistry, they both start to realize— This isn’t just attraction. It’s something far more dangerous. Because when sunshine meets a storm… someone is bound to lose control.

They thought they were enemies. Fate made them mates. Joy Stone isn’t just the brainy, sarcastic queen of pranks—she’s a deadly Alpha hybrid in disguise. At her human university, no one suspects the quiet nerd is also the fiercest warrior of the Diamond Heart Pack. Until he walks in. Lex: infuriatingly gorgeous, maddeningly brilliant, and cocky enough to challenge her at every turn. He’s also the future Alpha of the Water Moon Pack, a notorious playboy whose charm breaks hearts almost as fast as his fists break bones—and now, her new rival for the top spot on campus. Their war starts with stolen notes, savage comebacks, and steamy glares that last too long. But one reckless kiss, one dark secret, and one blood-soaked rescue later… everything changes. They’re not just rivals. They’re mates. Now Joy has to choose: resist the pull—or give in to a bond that could expose everything she’s worked to hide. Enemies in the classroom. Lovers by fate. And in the end, only one will top the pack.

Mom is always very strict with both my elder sisters, Esther and Emily Kingston. She always wakes them up at 5:00 am to make them study. And if they refuse to wake up, Mom will grab an embroidery needle and stab it into my arm. When fresh blood spills out, Esther and Emily will both get a fright and scramble to their desks at once to begin studying. Sometime during the year-end exam, Esther gets one easy question wrong, and I receive ten lashes with Mom's belt. Emily gets only the second-highest score in class, and I am forced to kneel on glass until my knees turn bloodied and torn. Esther and Emily feel sorry for me and fall to their knees, begging Mom to have mercy on me and promising that they will study hard and make her proud of them. Mom smiles happily and says that this teaching method works very well. However, after the SATs, Esther applies for a college out of state, and Emily tells Mom that she is eloping with a young man whom she has fallen in love with. Mom is so angry that she yanks me over and stuffs me into a huge fish tank before beginning to fill it up with water. She then takes a video of me, threatening to drown me alive if they don't listen to her and do exactly as she says. The water keeps rising in the tank. I feel scared, but I don't struggle because Mom always tells me that the only reason for my existence is to be made an example out of for Esther and Emily. She often quotes Shakespeare's "Othello", telling me about how I am the "sacrificial" dog one beats to scare a lion and teach it obedience. I think that I am considered quite a qualified dog after all, right?

His mouth moved towards my waiting nipple making my skin hot with anticipation. The feel of his lip on the tip of my nipple made it get rock hard instantly. My mind was spinning as he let it slide into his warm mouth. I moaned sharply. *** A boat cruise gone wrong… All sarcastic driven Cara McKay wanted was a pleasurable boat trip. She didn’t expect to be marooned on an island with the worst of the worst- cocky, man whore Zayn Dawson. Sexy as sin, the last place playboy Zayn wanted to be, was on an abandoned island. With only a girl who drives him crazy as his unwilling companion, Zayn doubts the fact of making it out alive sane. Not only does Cara fill him with the desire to throttle her, she also makes other things hard as well with her fiery eyes, pouty lips and curvy body. But what do two hotheaded people who are trapped together on an island do for several days? They wreck each other—in the most pleasurable way possible.

Victor towers over Lila Thompson in her family kitchen and growls, “You belong to me and you are my fated mate. The Crescent Mother wills it.” Lila spits back, “I don’t belong to anyone,” while Caleb yanks her from a demon ambush, Adrian blackmails her into the trials, and Levi pins her against the arena wall under his father’s lethal gaze. ★★★★ Lila Thompson, an 18-year-old outcast with fiery red hair and a wolf mark that burns, is rejected by her fated mate Victor, the ruthless Alpha of Stormfire who now hunts her for death. Forced to flee Alaska’s snowy Caeli Pack, Lila dives into the deadly Demon Hunting Trials where Caleb (her sarcastic half-demon partner) protects her, Adrian (the blackmailing Rivermare wolf) forces her friendship, and Levi (Victor’s own son and prince) defies his father to train her. This dark reverse harem explodes with rejected-mate tension, demon battles, forbidden desire, and savage revenge. What if your fated mate wanted you dead? Would you run into hell with three dangerous wolves who crave you instead?

Palermo is a feared Mafia boss, commanding respect throughout the criminal underworld. He's a strikingly handsome and heavily tattooed man who exudes charisma, leaving women enraptured. As a wealthy and ruthless leader of the Mafia, he's unflinchingly willing to take lives. He's a figure who cares not for the concept of sin, but even he couldn't believe he'd fall in love at first sight with a woman he had only just laid eyes on. She was stunningly beautiful, and in his eyes, Ysabel was the only woman who truly held his attention. She was the first woman he wished to protect and cherish, and he never anticipated developing an interest in her, an interest that compelled him to know her, to draw close to her, and to become a part of her life. However, it was beyond belief that in the midst of violence, near-death experiences, and imminent peril, he found and came to know the captivating Ysabel. To his surprise, she even managed to steal his heart. It may sound peculiar and humorous, doesn't it? He was on the brink of death, yet he still managed to fall in love at first sight with this woman of extraordinary beauty whom he had just met. But he is Palermo Lazarus, a Mafia leader who would stop at nothing to possess and claim the woman who had entranced him and breathed life into a heart he once believed was as cold as stone. He became possessively infatuated with her and was resolute in making her his own.

Savannah Tresscot is loud, sarcastic and not afraid to voice what she thinks about anyone. Not to mention that she can beat any sailor at a cussing competition. Plain on the outside but some serious secrets to hide, she’s totally not PA material. Yet, she gets miraculously hired by Synclair Group of Companies by a stroke of luck. Nathan Synclair is cold, collected and a hardcore businessman. Hot as on the outside but a complete mess in terms of organizing his life, he is the top industrialist in the country...in desperate need of a PA. His only option is the one who does not throw herself at him during the interview. And what better than a person he already knows, the creepy-nerd-turned-hot-graduate from his high school that he hadn't seen in years. So what happens when two completely opposite personalities meet and face their match? Will they be as aloof as they were back in school or will love give them a second chance? And can Savannah trust him with her deepest, darkest secrets, even though they might cost her everything she has worked so hard to achieve?