Vampires Funny Novels & Stories

She made a croaking sound. "I'm just kidding. I'm excellent. Because the tornado dissipated so quickly, we are not in danger." What I stated earlier is now retracted. "Yeah, yeah. Goodbye." The "end" button was pressed by her. I'm bored. When Celes is anxious, she hates it when people make fun of her, but I find it quite amusing to annoy her.

“But also… the way the characters chose each other, over and over.” Something about the way he says it makes my chest tighten. I’m mid-scoop of ice cream when he suddenly says, “Knock, knock.” I blink. “Oh no.” “Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Vamp.” “…Vamp who?” “Vamp-ire believe how good this date is going?” I burst out laughing. Real, unfiltered laughter that has me clutching my stomach and nearly spilling my ice cream. “Oh my God,” I wheeze. “That was terrible.”

EPISODE 1 💮 I am a vampire, and that is the truth. But the modern meaning of the word vampire, the stories that have been told about creatures such as I, are not precisely true. I do not turn to ash in the sun, nor do I cringe when I see a crucifix. I wear a tiny gold cross now around my neck, but only because I like it. I cannot command a pack of wolves to attack or fly through the air. Nor can I make another of my kind simply by having him drink my blood. Wolves do like me, though, as do most predators, and I can jump so high that one might imagine I can fly. As to blood--ah, blood, the whole subject fascinates me. I do like that as well, warm and dripping, when I am thirsty. And I am oft

Well shit. His smirk turned into a full blown belly laugh followed by the shaking of his blonde hair. “It’s not. But your expression when I said it was was hilarious. You acted like I told you the sky was raining pigs.” I narrowed my eyes. “You’re hilarious.” At least the mood was lightened and I was happy to be the reason for that. I always thought Zander was a little uptight in his well-pressed suit but as it turned out, he wasn’t that bad at all. At least, from this conversation we had, he seemed alright to have a conversation. He can also take a joke too, that’s a quality vampires seemed to not possess.

Hana and Nabi were stunned by the list he read, and before they could respond, he urged, "Don't say Vampires or werewolves or aliens Please!" That made Hana laugh, and finally, she turned into a tomato laughing. Nabi frowned but was happy to see Hana comfortable and at ease.

He shut his eyes, not wishing to see the monster I was. "Look at me!" I growled, morphing back to human. He needed to trust me first. When he opened his eyes I put him down, maintained social distance and wiped the blood from my mouth with the back of my hand, flashed a warm friendly smile, "am a newly turned vampire, I don't want to kill anyone, so I choose to drink blood without harming innocent people like you doctor. So, here is what we are going to do!" I moved toward him in a blink of an eye. Compulsion was the best way out, "you are going to get me twenty bags of blood in the trash can outside the exit. Forget I was here!" He shut his eyes for a minute, and when he opened them, I had

the bat guy explained. " What else did my father-in-law say? " the shameless monk inquired. " monks can't marry " the bat guy replied. " fuck your grandpa!! this honorable Reverend monk is not your normal monk. " The shameless monk replied. The two vampires argued back and forth for what seemed like an eternity before getting to their destination. The streets of hell were bustling, all kinds of demons roamed this street, from minions to huge monsters showing off their expensive hellhounds. Monsters of all races walked the streets.

“You think this is funny.” Sammy shifted again and this time Alexandra did not stop him. His presence pressed forward, hot and dangerous, wolf right at the edge of his skin. Victor finally lifted his hands in mock surrender. “Relax. Relax. I was joking.” Silence. I stared at him. “Joking.” “Yes,” he said cheerfully. “Vampire humor. Dark. Dramatic. A little theatrical. We commit to the bit.” Jane let out a sound that was half scoff half disbelief. “You almost got my bestie killed and you are calling it a bit.”

But the paranoia was eating me alive, and Jeff was the closest thing I had to a friend on this team. I had to know. “Hey,” I said carefully, keeping my voice low. “Have you ever… I mean, this is going to sound weird, but have you ever seen anything strange? Around the team?” Jeff turned to look at me, one eyebrow raised. “Strange how?” “Like…” I struggled to find words that wouldn’t make me sound insane. “Like, I don’t know. Vampire strange?” The silence that followed was deafening. Then Jeff burst out laughing… loud and genuine, the kind of laugh that made other people turn to see what was so funny. “Vampires? Are you fucking serious right now?”

"This is life! Go kill each other people!" I even clapped while yelling. Some of them are too old so it's really easy for a vampire to defeat them