Vampires Funny Novels & Stories

My wolf was happy, and that happiness radiated through me, filling the void of uncertainty. “Let’s go then; the vampires are waiting,” she said, cracking a joke to lighten the mood. The levity of her words broke through my tension, and I couldn’t help but chuckle. It was refreshing to find humor even in this dire situation, a reminder that there was still light amidst the shadows closing in around us.

We both shared a friendly hug then we nodded at each other. "Well, if you would play this game of our childhood every time we meet each other, I will be able to find you faster than the last time. You should be unpredictable, my friend Vincent. If not, you will lose every single time. The choice is yours." I replied in a proud tone and he started laughing hysterically. I joined him as well and all other vampires were looking at us with their mouths agape. As it was not something usual to see us both laughing carelessly.

I said, and he just laughed at me and waved his hand in front of him. "Go on. Just keep asking," he said, and just kept on eating some fries. "How old are you? They said vampires don't age. Is that true?" I asked him, and he laughed so hard, which caught other customers' attention. "Hahaha! What do you think of me? A hundred years old man? Just like in the books? Hahaha, of course, we're aging too, but just not as fast as humans do, and our souls it doesn't die that easily," he explained while wiping some tears of laughter from his eyes.

Garlic has no effect on Vampires. Vampires can be killed by mutilation of the heart, decapitation, being branded by a holy item, or caught in sunlight. Other things that would normally cause pain to humans would also cause pain to Vampires—maybe even more so because where humans might die, Vampires continue to experience pain until they heal.

She sighed feeling relieved. “Just like you feel around my brother.” Colby raised an eyebrow. She paused, pulling away from him. “This is a joke, isn't it?” Lynette reprimanded. “No. I needed some relationship advice. My brother has feelings for you and I want the best for him and myself,” He could tell. “When a human becomes a vampire, everything they feel becomes exacerbated. We can love at first sight but as time flies, we try to get it under control because sometimes we can hurt the people we love.” He explained to her hoping that she would comprehend.

“Ahh. Hence the outdated complements.” My acceptance of his vampirism made him smile with relief. It was nice to see the sparkle return to his baby blues. Seeing his joy, and needing to lighten the mood, I asked, “Are all vampires as sexy as you are?” He threw his head back in light laughter and then leaned forward to place a light kiss on the corner of my mouth. “You have no idea how much I love you right now.” I eyed him for a moment. “I’m confused. Folklore says that vampires can’t go into the sun, yet you do. “

All glaring down at him with rather nasty expressions on their faces. "HAHA! How ya like that!? You son of a bitch! Allow me to introduce Happy Flower's very angry cousins! Happy flowers two through six! And Bob! And they're ooooh so pleased to meet you!" Vale cackled like a mad scientist. As she laughed heartily to her heart's content the giant reincarnations of Happy Flower began closing the gap. At this point the Vampire didn't even bother putting up airs. Panic was fully displayed across his face. He quickly began glancing side to side looking for a way out. He did see a small gap between them and took the opportunity for a mad dash.

Vanessa smirked as she saw those four vampires fight amongst each other. Alexander was monitoring Becca and his surroundings carefully when a two-hundred-year-old vampire named Benedict appeared in front of him. “Ugh, not you,” Alexander groaned as Benedict has always managed to piss him off just with his annoying face while the words that spilled out of his mouth were even more annoying.

She chuckled at me. Jade was the braver out of the both of us. Don’t get me wrong, my mouth has gotten me into trouble more times than I could count but even I drew the line at crossing vampire lands. The sun may well be up but there are rumors that speak of a new breed of vampire. The rumors say that some crazy scientists experimented on vampires and as a result they were able to walk under direct sunlight, not turning into ash as they did so. “Get that thought out of your head, I’ve never heard of anything more ridiculous than that” Jade rolled her eyes at my thoughts. Sometimes I forgot we shared a mind and I had such a judgey wolf.

With a serious face, Frey started talking about herself. There are two types of vampires.Pureblood and mixed-blood vampires.Pure-blooded vampires are the original descendants of ancestral vampires.While mixed vampires are obtained in various ways such as marriage between humans and vampires, or other ways.Frey is a pure-blooded vampire who has a body that looks the same as a human.Even so, she also has strength that exceeds ordinary humans.