Novel & Cerita Yo Mamma Jokes

They stripped her of her title. Branded her a traitor. Left her to rot in the forbidden lands. But Mira Wyrmblood didn't die. She rose. From the ashes of betrayal and exile, she built an empire. Now known to the world as The Cyber Empress, she’s no longer the discarded Luna, she’s the woman who owns the game board they once played her on. And she’s not done. When Mira steps into a high-profile gala three years later, all eyes are on her, including his. “Yo—you look like my ex-wife,” “No,” she smirks, brushing past him, “I look like the ghost of your greatest regret.” But just as she reclaims her power, fate throws her another twist. Not one mate. Three. A Lycan King with fire in his veins. An ancient Vampire with secrets older than time. A Warlock Coven Leader with eyes that see too much. “Mine,” they growl. “No,” she snarls back. “I’m not someone you claim.” Mira’s done begging. She’s done breaking. She doesn’t need saving—she is the storm.

The first time I attended my girlfriend Joyce's friend gathering, after a few rounds of drinks, her male best friend pulled her onto his lap. With a cigarette dangling between his fingers, he grinned. "Call me daddy!" Instead of getting offended, Joyce leaned into him, helpless but indulgent, and said, "Daddy." I froze, scowling, but she waved me off without a care. "It's just a joke! Lucius always never cared for the rules, and everyone knows we have a father-daughter vibe, okay? Don't get it all twisted, Henry! Aren't you a man?" Lucius became even more provocative, throwing a smoke ring at me. "Yo, son-in-law! Aren't you going to bow to me? Come on, kneel and offer me a drink, and your dad's got your back!" Everyone at the table burst into laughter as they waited to see me lose my temper and make a scene. I just smiled, meeting Joyce's impatient gaze with an excited expression. "That's great! I like the way you think, so why don't you call me daddy too?"

I've always been frail by nature. Taking two consecutive steps can make me gasp for air. If I cough, there's a chance there's blood accompanying it. When I'm seven years old, a homeless man in Bronzeton tries to snatch a half-eaten piece of bread from me. I lie on the ground as I convulse like a dying fish with foam gathering at my mouth. My eyes have rolled to the back of my head as well, as though my seizure is acting up. Thinking that I've gotten infected with some sort of disease, the homeless man is so frightened that he flees from Novarra overnight. When I'm ten years old, a delinquent tries to demand protection money from me. I react by spitting dark blood at his face. The poor guy screams at the top of his lungs as he runs down the street, only to get mistaken as a murderer by a police officer who happens to pass by the area. Since then, everyone avoids me like plague on the street. They aren't scared of me—they are terrified that they might get into trouble because of me. No one knows who my parents are. I've grown up in a rundown motel, and my adoptive mother is a stripper who used to be famous. Whenever she gets drunk, she often tells me, "Your father is a mafia Don." I've always thought that she's just running her mouth purely out of drunkenness. That is, until a black limo stops in front of me on the year I turn 18 years old. Three men clad in black suits get out of the limo. The leader sinks down on one knee right in front of me, his voice quivering as he speaks. "We finally found you, Ms. Salvatore. Your father is Vittorio Salvatore, the Don of one of the biggest mafia families in Novarra." At first, I think this is just a scamming scheme. That is, until I'm taken to the estate located on Lacreth Isle that's six acres wide and sports iron gates with the Salvatore insignia carved into them. On my first day home, the fake heiress, Serena Salvatore, purposefully releases the fearsome family dog in the estate just to intimidate me. That dog keeps barking at me, frightening me to the point that I spit out blood on the spot before collapsing to the ground. My mother, Rosalina Vitelli, almost loses her mind over my collapse. But my older brother, Marco Salvatore, shouts at me angrily instead. "Why are you playing dead? You made Serena cry because of your antics!" His voice is so loud that I feel as though my eardrums are going to burst anytime soon. Even my heart feels as though an invisible hand is gripping it tightly. My eyes roll to the back of my head instantly as my body crashes on the spot. Mamma flies into a rampage and almost beats Marco to death for scaring me. Having witnessed everything, Serena kicks up a fuss by attempting to commit suicide at the estate's clock tower just so she can apologize to me. In order to prove his love to Serena, my fiance, Luca Moretti, drags me forcibly to the top of the clock tower so that Serena can do whatever she wants to me. The thing is, the winds are strong on the top of the clock tower. That's when I accidentally slip and topple over the railing. My parents, who are looking everywhere for me, happen to be around the clock tower when I crash onto the spot near them. This time, my bruised and broken body is completely drenched in blood. Shell-shocked, they remain rooted to the spot as they stare at me in bewilderment. Then, they let out blood-curdling screams.

How do you secure both a great love and a great future? Can we have it both at the same time, when we want it to happen? What it the great love does not provide us with any assurance that that we will have a bright future as planned? Will you give up your great love in order to have a bright future? Or will you take the risk of foregoing a bright future in exchange for a once-in-a-lifetime love? Raven made the most difficult decision of her life by breaking Zebastian's heart. Zebastian Dawson is Esmeralda and Mateo Dawson's youngest son. He just came from a simple family which is why Raven's family doesn't want her to take him seriously. Raven was guided by her mother to select Axel Hayes, a well known businessman in town who owns a large car company in the country. She gave up her love to make her parents proud and to ensure her future and the good life she has had since birth. A life she believed that Zebastian is incapable of providing.. But life is full of surprises... Zebastian and Raven's paths crossed again inside the world's largest corporation where Raven needs to speak yo the CEO amd asked for assistance.. To her surprise, Zebastian owned the company and he promised to make Raven suffer in exchange for the assistance she was asking for.. A man's retaliation against a woman who turned her back on him when he had nothing to offer...

For seven years, my CEO girlfriend never once came home with me to see my parents. She told me that she hated social obligations, and that she didn't want to deal with the gossip and hassle that came with meeting my parents and relatives. Even in daily life, she treated me with cold professionalism, never spending any anniversaries with me in favor of working overtime. I'd always thought that it was just a simple matter of her being too rational and prideful, and I was fine with slowly teaching her how to nurture a relationship. That was, until Thanksgiving arrived. Once again, she stressed that holidays were just a capitalistic norm, and that she was going to work overtime instead of coming home with me. By chance, however, I accidentally stumbled upon my intern's social media. Inside a private room at a five-star hotel, he and his family sat at a table as my girlfriend sat beside him, carefully serving him food. [Yo, my boss secretly brought my parents into the city for Thanksgiving, and even gave me gifts! She told me that I was worth special gestures, too. Where can you even find a boss this romantic? My parents even told me to marry her as soon as I could! LOL!] So she knew better than anyone how to make people feel cherished. I just wasn't worth any of it. I commented: [How romantic.] Then, I messaged my girlfriend. [Let's break up.]

Sloane is bright, fiercely athletic, almost 20 yo Sophomore student. On the track, she's a promising runner with Olympic-sized dreams. Off the track, she's perfectly happy being one of the guys, "the funny one"-a sharp contrast to the typical well dress college girl. But last semester, her tomboy façade cracked. A disastrous, unreciprocated confession to her lifelong best friend left a permanent, painful dent in their friendship. She was ready to power through the awkwardness, keep her head down, and focus on her sophomore season, when, her world was shaken. A celebrated international star athlete and new exchange student, steps onto campus and into Sloane's life. He's popular, he's gorgeous, and he sees the vibrant woman under the baggy sweatshirts. He doesn't just challenge Sloane on the field; he forces her to confront her greatest flaw: her deep-seated belief that she's not beautiful. But as he teaches her what "beauty" truly means, a complicated new set of rules emerges, with her scholarship at risk and loosing her mind over calculus. Can Sloane chase her running dreams, navigate a new and intense romance, and survive the rumors, bad grades, and campus chaos that follow? Or will the pressure of becoming someone new lead to the biggest stumble of her life? ♡ This romantic comedy explores the complications of academic and athletic pressure at the high level demanded by universities as well as the modern beauty standards, while also capturing how fun and dramatic campus life can be for young people. ┖┈┈┈┈୨♡୧┈┈┈┈୨♡୧┈┈┈┈୨♡୧┈┈┈┈┚ This book is entirely a work of fiction. The characters are all fictional, and all rights to this work are reserved by the author.