Yo Mamma Jokes

Mi padre era el don de la familia Moretti y el padrino que gobernaba todo el imperio de la mafia. Mi madre, por su parte, era la jefa de la familia Carter y la presidenta de la Corporación Multinacional Carter. Ellos fueron quienes seleccionaron a dos prometidos para mí. El primero era Damian, el CEO de Aegis Corporation, reconocido a nivel mundial. El otro era Caesar, una figura formidable que controlaba todo el tráfico de armas clandestino. En el banquete de mi vigésimo cumpleaños, aquel a quien yo eligiera para casarme se convertiría en el nuevo padrino que gobernaría el imperio. Por eso, todos se quedaron en shock cuando, sin dudarlo, elegí a Caesar. —Elijo a Caesar —sentencié con firmeza, ignorando los murmullos de la multitud. Yo había amado profundamente a Damian desde que era una niña, tanto que, incluso, había llegado a jurar que solo me casaría con él. Sin embargo, lo que nadie sabía era que yo había regresado del futuro. En mi vida pasada, me había casado con Damian tal como deseaba. Sin embargo, en nuestra noche de bodas, él me traicionó con mi propia sirvienta. Más tarde, mi familia se enteró y la despidió, echándola de la casa sin contemplaciones. Motivo por el que Damian me guardó un profundo rencor. Meses más tarde, luego de que quedé embarazada, traía a mujeres diferentes a casa cada noche y se acostaba con ellas justo frente a mí. Incluso el día que luchaba en un parto difícil, él desvió todos los recursos médicos para dejarme desamparada. Ignorando mis súplicas, provocó que yo y mi hijo no nacido sufriéramos y muriéramos en una agonía insoportable. Habiendo regresado al pasado, decidí concederle su libertad. Por esto, sin pensarlo dos veces, elegí a mi otro prometido, Caesar. Pero lo que nunca esperé fue descubrir que Damian... también había renacido.

Queen Toshiba was a great warrior who got married to a king, all she wanted was a child and nothing more. One day she saw an old lady which she help out and was told she will give birth yo a child on the fifth arrival festival. Things got out oh hands and toshiba was shock when she saw the child was a wolf.

Everybody is different. May it be with the way you look, your sexual orientation or your beliefs and culture. Tori Kingstein has always thought of herself as someone who’s different. She never liked boys. Yes, she's gay. Tori then was sent to her mum’s old school, an all-girls boarding school in hopes of her not getting herself a boyfriend at a young age. But jokes on her parents, cause she actually swings the other way around. And little did she know that entering Whistler High School for Girls would put her on a mission with other girls, like her who aren’t white, to end the discrimination, inequality, too much use of white privileges and the use of wealth and power to stay on top by some students, especially by the school's student council officers. After knowing this, Tori is set on finishing her mum's past role in this group—and that is to destroy the unfair treatment of the school and the student council to students who what they call “aren’t white and as rich as them”, but Tori has a secret. It’s just that... She might have a tiny bit of crush on the student council's president who's no other than Amelia Harriet Williams. What could go wrong, right?

They say society looks down on divorced women, especially those who are no longer “beautiful” in its eyes but Amara doesn’t care. After ten years of being the perfect wife, enduring whispers about her looks, the cruel jokes about her weight, and the constant reminders from her husband that she’s “not beautiful enough,” she’s done. Her husband not only cheats on her… he moves his pregnant mistress into their marital home and flaunts her like a prize. When Amara asks for a divorce, he vows to destroy her. Promising to make her life so miserable she’ll come crawling back. But he’s wrong because Amara would rather die than return to him. In her search for a way out, she crosses paths with Lucian Rostova. He's dangerous. Ruthless and filthy rich. Lucian offers her a deal: he’ll help her ruin her ex-husband and his mistress if she agrees to marry him for one year. With her back against the wall, Amara says yes. But deals with the devil always come with a price. Will Lucian truly protect her like he promises… or will he crush her and leave her bleeding out in the cold?

El día que papá asistió a una fiesta con su ex y se volvió tendencia, todos se burlaban de mi mamá. Decían que había dejado atrás una gran carrera para entrar en una familia rica, pero después de treinta años seguía sin nombre ni lugar, sin siquiera el valor de reclamarle a la amante. Después de tanto llorar, mamá me miró cansada. —Él me falló primero, así que yo tampoco lo quiero. —Amanda, ¿te vas conmigo? Justo entonces sonó mi celular. Era un mensaje de mi novio de siete años: "Amanda, solo es un acta de matrimonio. ¿No podemos seguir como novios?" Guardé silencio unos segundos antes de asentir. Así fue que, el mismo día de su boda, mamá y yo desaparecimos entre las llamas de la mansión.

Mi esposo y yo éramos las dos almas que más se aborrecían en este mundo. Él me detestaba por haberlo arrebatado del lado de la mujer que amaba; y yo le guardaba rencor, pues su corazón permanecía cautivo de otra dama. Durante ocho años de matrimonio, las palabras que con mayor frecuencia cruzamos no fueron de afecto ni de deber, sino amargas maldiciones. No obstante, el día en que la ciudad sucumbió, todo cambió. Las banderas enemigas ya se divisaban más allá de la puerta interior. Él fue al frente y tomó el camino, interponiendo su cuerpo entre el acero enemigo y mi huida. —Vive —pronunció quedamente. Acto seguido, alzó su espada y no volvió la vista atrás. Las flechas cayeron cual lluvia inclemente. Mientras lo atacaban, volvió la cabeza una vez, solo una vez. Tras aquello, su cuerpo custodió el camino, y nada ni nadie logró cruzarla. —Si existe otra vida… ruego a su Alteza que me conceda la misericordia de pertenecerle a ella. Aquella noche, con la ciudad reducida a cenizas y el pueblo yacente o en fuga, subí a la torre más alta del palacio. Y salté al vacío. Cuando mis ojos volvieron a abrirse, me presenté ante el Rey. —Los reinos del norte requieren una desposada real —dije—. Yo iré. En esta vida, seré yo quien cruce la frontera. En mi vida anterior, él halló la muerte creyendo que le había fallado a ella. Esta vez, no permitiré que tal lamento exista. Tomaré el matrimonio destinado a ella. Portaré la corona labrada para su exilio. Caminaré hacia un destino que ella nunca debería padecer. Que ella siga aquí. Que él la proteja. Que él viva su vida creyendo que, finalmente, ha cumplido su promesa.

Mia Nova is sold to the devil to clear her fathers debt. Luca Barone, known in whispered fear as Diavolo, doesn’t just collect money, he also collects souls. Luca expects to meet a broken Mia who will plead for her life with tears and vivid fear. Instead he meets a petty thief who fears nothing. She smiles when he threatens to sell her to men, and makes jokes about her breast size not being enough for these men. In Luca’s world, the biggest currency is fear, but it seems Mia is bankrupt. When she steps into Pandemonium, his secret lair where powerful men are undone, she becomes the queen of the night, raking in five hundred million dollars in her first night. They make a second deal. The freedom of her soul costs six billion dollars in the six months of her gracing the golden chair every night. A kiss seals the deal. That same kiss changes everything between them. He becomes possessive, and she wants to surrender to him, but the ghost of the woman who graced the chair before her, returns with a fire that is set to burn everything down. Mia must decide between running from the Devil who owns her, or staying with the man who no longer wants to.

The prophecy has been told. A Tribrid will be born to slaught*er every people who oppose with its rule. She will be the queen of all, and every person who will go against her will not only lost his life, but will also burn his soul. Every races was threatened, thus, they made one cruel rule: No Tribrid shall be born. However, few years later, an omega from Shadow pack made a disturbance with its destructive power that trembled everyone. But no one had found where the Tribrid girl after the incident. They were restless. They need to find the tribid and kill it before everything became too late. One the other hand, Sidrich was oblivious of the destructive power within her. Being abused and slaved her whole life, it was hard for her to trust someone again. But meeting the second prince of Sharmai empire, Prince Alastair, Sidrich found herself trusting the prince instantly. His flirtatious remarks, his corny jokes, and his undying devotion to protect Sidrich at all cost beyond everything and everyone made the latter feel safe and comfortable towards the prince. Amidst of all chaos and chasing, the two fought for their love that has never been permissible. However, happiness comes with a price. With enemies trying to find and kill the tribrid, could the two of them would be able to fight until the end of all the havoc?

At dinner, Tiffany White grabs my fiance's phone and spends 100 thousand dollars on a designer bag. She even sticks her tongue at me. "Come on, Meredith. You're loaded. You won't mind such a small amount, right? Shawn and I share everything. His money is my money," she says. Everyone at the table waits for me to lose my temper or smile and let it slide like a saint. Instead, I calmly take out a voice recorder and my laptop from my bag and adjust my gold-rimmed glasses. "100 thousand meets the threshold for criminal filing. Since you said you two share everything, I have to ask—is this embezzlement or an illegal transfer tied to an improper personal relationship? "Oh, and what you just said about 'his money is my money'? I recorded that. According to the supplemental clauses in our prenup and the company bylaws, I'm officially initiating an asset-freezing order against Shawn Harrison." I turn to Tiffany. "Enjoy your free meals in prison, Ms. White." Shawn is livid. "It was just a joke, Meredith. Is it really necessary to ruin me over this?" I hit the "enter" key. "Sorry. In my book, there are no jokes—only bad debt."

He smirked, knowing he was on the winning side. "So it's a done deal for three months?" He raised his eyebrows, putting his hand forth for a handshake. I looked at the long fingers and perfectly aligned nails and then at his patient face. Sighing to myself I my own hand into his and ignored the tingles that flowed through every nerve as his fingers curled around my hand and shook it lightly. "Yeah three months." "Goodnight then." He winked, removing his hand from mine and turned to walk away. "Hey wait!" I called out, suddenly remembering something. "You don't have my number." "What makes you think that? I have my ways Smith." And with one last wink I saw him take a turn and disappear from my sight. I let out a long breath, leaning on the nearby wall. Looks like I just made a deal with the Devil. * A sarcastic girl, a cocky guy. Throw in some mystery, murder, filthy jokes, wonderful friends, tons of kisses, secrets, surprises, eye-rolls and a killer on run. And you have got yourself a story never read before. ***So grab a cup of hot chocolate, some chips and a warm blanket and get ready to laugh, cry and bite your lip in anticipation. Enjoy!!