Your Momma So Fat Jokes Novels & Stories

I lied, “The job in Ohio could only fetch me good food, so I have to eat to grow fatter. We burst into noisy laughter and almost choked on it. “But you have to cut down on your food. You are a woman. You should look curvy and pretty and not fatty. Can’t you see the how I looked? Would anyone believe that I have a grown up like you?” mom advised me, “You know you are yet to marry and have babies, so you must be careful of what you eat.” I shook my head firmly, “Okay mom, accept,” I chuckled and she did the same. “Hey mom, you look good too, I guess you have finished all the vegetables in your garden.”

She waved her hand lightly, the diamonds on her fingers catching the light. “Oh, heavens, don’t look so grim. It was nothing,” she said. “It’s an old joke, that’s all. You know how people say boys can be too much like being wild and dramatic, and how it is exhausting to be a boy mom. So the joke is about how a mother knows she needs so much help to raise them. It’s just something the older generation repeats. Nothing serious.” Her gaze shifted amongst the crowd. “Don’t tell me you don’t know it.”

Lisa POV The clothing store was quieter than I expected for that time of day. I moved past a section of fitted tops and paused in front of a mirror to check my reflection, as most of my clothes no longer sat the way they used to. I picked up another top and held it against my body. The hem barely reached where I needed it to. “I think I need to change everything,” I said. “I'm so fat.” My mom glanced at me from where she stood, flipping through a row of dresses. “You’re not fat, honey. You're carrying a baby. Getting bigger is expected.”

, She asked looking confused with my sudden outburst of laughter. I had to bite my lips to stop myself from laughing, "Sorry mom, but I find your excuse weird and funny. Why do you need to detox?"I asked because I see no reason for her to go on a weight loss journey. "Can't you see how bloated I am?", she asked. "Most of my clothes are getting too tight for me". I took a good look at her from up to down trying to see if there were any changes in her, but to be honest I see no difference in her, she's still the same.

I say teasing. “Yes, you have to now,” Fatima laughs. “You can’t be serious. I am not paying for anyone’s meal,” Emma says laughing with us. “Yeah, we know, we are just joking.” I say smiling. “You better be.” “You guys won’t believe what happened to me yesterday.” Fatima says after our laughter dies down. “What happened?” I ask.

Oh, I know she’s trying not to laugh at my suffering. Some friend she is—she should be mourning for me, not choking back giggles. "Well… he’s chubby, but not fat," Mom says delicately. "And he’s an accountant—" She leans in, her voice dropping to a whisper like she’s about to reveal top-secret government intel. "And his mom said he’s never had sex!" She beams at me like she just told me I won the lottery. "WHAT?!" I screech, launching up from the couch—only for my injured ankle to betray me, forcing me right back down.

"You're scruffy!" "Oh," I said, a sense of relief flowing through me. "Sorry." "I used to tell you all the time honey, girls are soft, and we don't like scratchy skin." "I know, I remember." I nodded, thinking damn straight she was soft. "Yeah, those whiskers can hurt our lips." She winked "Even the ones on our mouth." "W...what did you just say?" Mom stared at me for a moment with her big blue eyes and laughed; "It was a joke; don't tell me they don't tell raunchy jokes over at the frat house!"

She mutters, looking away. "What do you mean?" The door swings open. Dad walks in and stares at my mom for a moment. He's clearly admiring her beauty and her figure. "You look fat!" He comments. "You need to cut some weight or you'll start getting sick." My jaw drops at the comment. I scowl at my dad, my blood boiling. "The only person that's sick is you for making such a fùcking sick comment towards your wife!" I snap. "You don't deserve mom. She's too good for you!"

mom said. “Justa week? Two years is longer than a week.” I whispered but made sure that they can hear it. “Is she Sunny? Oh my gosh she is so pretty.” “I know. No need to mention.” “My mom is the joker of the year.” the guy answered. And I guess he almost the same age as me or older. “Really? Well, I am the joker of the decade. So, yeah.” as expected, I can see my mom already kiling me using her eyes. Hahaha.

) she thought to herself. "Besides, both of you look similar. I can just give both of you to that old man and get twice the money!" her mother bragged and Fatima shifted in her seat in frustration. "Old man? Ew!" Hannah exclaimed. "You sick fuck!" Fatima exclaimed to her mother and she only chuckled in response. "That's not how you should talk to your mother, Fatima," she said with a fake yet sweet smile. Fatima stared at her before looking at Hannah again.