Caption Galau

When I started college, my new roommate secretly used my phone to take a selfie. She sent it to the guy I was in an online relationship with and added the caption: [Baby, do you think I'm beautiful?] My boyfriend replied with a giant question mark, followed by a voice message full of curses. "Just thinking about dating someone with that face makes me want to puke!" "Let's break up, you ugly freak. Stay far away from me!" By the time I got out of the shower and tried to explain, I realized he had already blocked me. My roommate, holding her own phone, smugly told me, "The streamer I've had my eye on just added me. He says he wants to start an online relationship." When I looked at the account, I saw it was none other than my ex-boyfriend.

My husband asked me if bras were more comfortable without underwire, and I was happy that he had finally become more mature. The next day, his assistant snatched the parcel I received in the mail, saying that it had the wrong address. That night, I saw Samantha Davis post on her social media, with the caption, “My boyfriend bought this for me. Isn’t it pretty?” It was a selfie taken in a hotel mirror, and there was a beautifully decorated box containing a bra lying beside her. So, as it turned out, it was not that men became mature later in life, it was that you weren’t the one they were willing to become mature for. Naturally, I gave the post a like and took a screenshot before sending it to my husband. "What a waste. You could have gotten an 20% discount if you bought the whole set."

Colter Giordano, my fiancé of six years, heir to the Giordano family, took a bullet for a dancer named Mia. He didn't take one for me. A bullet tore through my shoulder. Blood bloomed across my dress, hot and sticky. But my heart hurt worse. He asked if I was okay. Just once. Then he rushed Mia to the hospital, leaving me bleeding on the floor. The next day, Mia's picture popped up on my Instagram feed. There she was, in a luxury hospital suite. Colter was fussing over a scratch on her arm that was barely there. The caption was just two words: "My Hero." I liked the post. Then I made an encrypted call. "The Falcone family's offer," I said. "I'm taking it. Get me on a plane to Sicily. Three days."

My son, Scott Gould, suddenly tells me that he has leukemia. Then, he goes on to say that his biggest wish is to see Ivanna Newman in a wedding dress. My husband, Theodore Gould, agrees with Scott. "I'll hold a wedding with Ivanna. Once Scott is done with his treatment, we'll get remarried." I gladly agree to the request and divorce Theodore. Not long after, I learn from Scott's social media that he's attending the wedding of Theodore and his childhood sweetheart, Ivanna. The caption he writes says, "I'm so happy for Dad. I can't help but shed tears for true love." I smile and turn off my phone. Holding the hand of the person next to me, I board a plane to Wismuth.

To help my surgeon husband with his erectile dysfunction, I made an appointment with an expert six months in advance. But as the day approached, Isiah Coleman canceled it without explanation. Just as I was about to call him to demand answers, I spotted a post from his female friend on her social media. My usually stoic husband was beaming as he wrapped his arms around her. The caption read: [Only I can cure your illness.] What struck me, though, was the telltale bulge in his pants in the photo—a reaction I'd never seen from him with me. With a cold laugh, I liked the post and left a comment: [What a miracle worker!] The post exploded, with everyone speculating whether I'd confront the mistress. But what awaited him after the holiday was our freshly printed divorce certificate.

Dikelilingi oleh tiga laki-laki tampan? Siapa sih yang tidak mau? Apalagi mereka udah mapan juga umur yang cukup untuk menikah. Semua impian para perempuan itu ada di dalam kriteria ketiga laki-laki tersebut. Tapi apa jadinya kalau ternyata ketiganya hanya mementingkan satu perempuan yang menyita seluruh perhatian mereka. Raika Catur Wiharja, seorang perempuan berumur 24 tahun yang sudah menjomblo selama dua tahun. Punya tiga kakak laki-laki tampan yang sudah mapan, tapi jomblo akut lebih dari ngenes karena ingin melihat adik bungsunya menikah terlebih dahulu. "Pokoknya kita nggak akan nikah sebelum Adek nikah duluan.” Itulah kira-kira kalimat yang terdengar seperti sumpah yang diucapkan kakak sulungnya dan disetujui oleh kedua kakaknya yang lain. Dan sang adik bungsu (sedikit) galau oleh sumpah konyol tersebut. Bagaimana bisa dia menikah duluan kalau setiap calon tambatan hati yang datang justru ditodong sederet cobaan oleh ketiga kakaknya?

Nasha mempunyai calon kakak ipar ganteng bernama Rayyan. Nasha selalu menjadikan kisah percintaan Rayyan dan Nisha, kakaknya sebagai tolak ukur baginya untuk menjalin suatu hubungan dengan lawan jenis. Hingga akhirnya, dia memilih Feri sebagai pacarnya. Karena Feri memiliki karakter yang hampir mirip dengan Rayyan, yaitu ganteng, pengertian, lembut dan bertanggungjawab. Sebuah kecelakaan tragis menimpa Nisha, dua hari sebelum pernikahan. Nisha meninggal dan membuat Nasha sangat sedih. Kesedihannya bertambah, saat menemukan fakta jika Feri telah berselingkuh dengan sahabat baiknya, Rosi. Alasan Feri berselingkuh karena dia butuh pelampiasan sedangkan Nasha tak pernah mau disentuh bahkan dicium olehnya. Patah hati membuat Nasha menjadi pribadi yang cuek terhadap lawan jenis. Meski ada Rian maupun Dokter Wijaya yang selalu mengejar cintanya, Nasha sama sekali tak bergeming. Namun, hatinya galau dan ada rasa yang berbeda ketika Nasha dipertemukan kembali dengan orang dari masa lalu. Rayyan, mantan calon kakak iparnya.

Melody Cinta, bukan nama judul lagu atau judul sinetron, adalah nama seorang gadis putri tunggal sebuah keluarga pengusaha. Alfata Langit, sesosok cowok dingin, angkuh, cuek , egois dan suka bertindak semau gue putra dari sahabat orang tua Melody. Mereka berdua di perkenalkan, di paksa menjadi kekasih dengan tujuan pertunangan dan pernikahan. Di satu sisi, ada seorang penggemar rahasia yang begitu perhatian pada Melody dan mampu membuat hati gadis itu selalu berbunga dan penuh warna setiap harinya. Hanya saja dia belum mau menampakkan diri dan bertemu secara langsung dengan Melody. Jadi gimana dong, Melody harus meletakkan hati dan pilihannya pada siapa. Setia menunggu sang penggemar rahasia yang entah kapan bersedia bertemu dengannya, atau harus menerima lelaki menyebalkan yang di paksa menjadi kekasih dan tunangannya bahkan berlanjut menjadi suaminya. Lelaki yang seringkali membuat galau hati Melody hingga membuatnya mendapat cap dan panggilan "berengsek" dari bibir dan hati terdalamnya.

Chase Grimm's aide-de-camp sent me a screenshot of an Instagram Live status. Guess who it came from. His new secretary. She was showing off a meticulously prepared lunch from a lunchbox. My handiwork, no less. I made it for him. The caption read: [He's a dark, cold CEO… and a shiny knight who saved a hungry princess with a gastric problem from eating mac 'n' cheese again!] Chase almost never posted on Instagram. Yet there he was, sharing a photo of a cup of ridiculously spicy mac 'n' cheese, captioned: [I have missed this.] The nerve of this prick. Then my mother-in-law sent an entirely unsolicited text: [What the heck were you doing?! You're supposed to make him a proper lunch! He can't stand spicy food!] After all that, I decided to call a supermarket. "Hi! I'd like to order 100 cups of instant super-spicy mac 'n' cheese and have them delivered to Grimm Co. Please and thank you." "Ain't I generous?"

During the long National Day holidays, I planned a Golden Highlands trip for the whole family. I even booked tickets for a luxurious train ride so we could enjoy the scenery. But on departure day, my husband and son vanished. I called my husband. I could hear an airport boarding announcement in the background. My voice trembled. "Where are you?" He panicked and mumbled that the company had an emergency before hanging up. I tried calling again, but the line was busy. The next day, he posted an update on his social media. In the photo, he stood beneath the snowy peaks of Wintercrown with one arm around his old love while the other held our son. The caption read: [If we had been a little braver back then...] A friend commented: [Where is your wife?] I stared at his reply: [She's sick and resting at home.] Three expired train tickets sat on the table as my eyes welled up with tears. A decade of marriage. A pack of lies. It was time to bring it all to a close.