Cool Funny Sayings Novels & Stories

My wife, Lillian Harmon, skips our daughter's birthday party to celebrate her male assistant’s birthday instead. We run into them at the restaurant. My daughter, Rosetta Coleman, runs over and hugs her. She calls out, "Mom." But Lillian pushes her away coldly and pretends not to know her. She turns and wraps her arms around Marcus Fisher while explaining, "I have no idea where this brat came from. She's just randomly calling strangers her mom." Rosetta is hurt and confused. She is on the verge of tears as she asks, "Why did Mommy pretend not to know me?" I hold her and say, "You got the wrong person. Your mom is in Marindale." Right away, I file for divorce and take Rosetta to Marindale. But Lillian loses her mind and chases after us to beg for our forgiveness. I keep her out of our lives and find Rosetta a new mother.

My mom, Allison Ramsey, runs an adult store. One day, I'm so tired that I doze off inside, only to end up accidentally trapped in one of those pleasure beds. When Mr. Palmer from next door walks in, he mistakes me for the store's latest doll and proceeds to pull down my hot pants.

I knew Adeline Shaw had been entangled with her childhood sweetheart for over a decade, but I still dove headfirst into our relationship without hesitation. Then came our engagement day. Adeline got a call that her childhood sweetheart had collapsed and was in the hospital. Without a second thought, she dropped everything - dropped me - and rushed to his side. My grandmother, who witnessed this whole scene, hurried after her. In her rush, she was struck by a car. By the time they got her to the hospital, it was too late. We couldn't save her. That's when I finally let go. She was never truly mine, and I shouldn't have tried to force what wasn't meant to be.

A while ago, my buddy Aaron Miller took me to a camping site, and that’s when I truly learned what camping was all about. I also discovered why so many men become obsessed with camping and can’t get enough of it. Inside each tent, there were stunning women, each one more beautiful than the last. There were the intellectual and graceful ones, the mature and seductive ones, the petite and delicate ones, and the quirky, fun ones—there was no type you couldn’t find there.

Six years ago, I was accused of kidnapping Fiona Carter’s adopted younger brother, Ryker Carter. The kidnapper insisted I was behind it. I begged Fiona for help, but she looked at me with pure disgust. "Xavier, you broke Ryker’s leg. This is the punishment you deserve!" Six years later, Fiona came to the prison to take me home, only to be handed a death certificate. She refused to believe it. "Xavier, even if you run to the ends of the earth, I’ll find you!" Later, she knelt in front of my grave and personally severed Ryker’s tendons.

My wife, Emma Davies, and I have held our wedding and stayed together for five years. However, we still have not registered our marriage. Every time we plan to do it, her colleague, Keegan Estrada, somehow causes trouble. The first time, he cannot handle a document, so she eagerly stays at the company to help him. The second time, he has a fever. She hangs up and leaves without hesitation. The third time, he is undergoing his performance evaluation. She gets so anxious that she leaves me waiting at the City Hall for an entire day. This happens 15 times in total. Every time we are about to register our marriage, Keegan will always have something going on that disrupts it. I finally understand. I do not want to waste my time on Emma anymore. But when I walk away for real, she chases after me desperately to the point that she even disregards her own life.

Ginny White, tall and curvy, was a graduate from a famous university. She wore a long white dress. I'd fallen for her since I saw her for the first time, but she didn't pay any attention to me. I never expected that just half a day later, Ginny would be on her knees begging me to do such a thing to her, just to get a bite to eat.

At the company's annual banquet, my wife, Amelia Sanford, publicly announces that she is gifting her assistant, Zayden Craig, a private jet worth 20 million dollars. Zayden wraps his arm around her waist gleefully. "Thank you, Ms. Sanford. I will definitely repay your kindness." I do not argue or make a scene. I simply turn and leave. But Amelia comes after me to give me a scolding. "Why are you jealous? What is wrong with me giving my top assistant a plane? You are incapable of doing anything right, and you still have the nerve to make a fuss?" I smile bitterly and don't bother to explain. I am the one doing all the work, but all the credit goes to Zayden while she pretends not to see it. It is time to walk away from this rotten relationship.

In order to stop me from spending money recklessly, my mom has exchanged my college living expenses into coupons. If I need to buy anything, I must buy it online. Also, I need to send a copy of my expenses sheet and the details behind said expenses to my mom so that she can check everything thoroughly. Only when she's given me her permission can I buy that item. When I tell my mom I want to buy a shirt, she tells me, "I remember you could still wear that shirt back in your high school days. You should just stick with it. Why waste your money on new clothes?" During winter, I can only wear the old sweater I've been wearing since my high school times while huddling in a corner of my dorm and nibbling on a sandwich. Meanwhile, my mom smugly posts a picture of the six-thousand-dollar dress she has just bought on her social media feed. "What a beautiful dress!"

On our first wedding anniversary, I took the day off from work and left early, only to find that my wife had probably cheated on me. One day I arrived at home, I found a shocking display where my wife was engaging in some intense activities…