Funny Sex Jokes

"Take that card and buy a several elegant clothes. I don't like to see my office like a brothel." He is Eric Williams a sharp tongue but successful CEO. After throwing his black card on my desk, for me his handsome face looks like a devil. How can I stand with his spicy mouth?" Eric Williams 30 yo accidentally met Casandra Mckenzy 25 yo at a party. The first impression that made Eric dislike to Casandra was that Casandra's talkative and sexy-looking changed drastically when Casandra walked through Eric when he was robbed by a criminal in a bank. Eric who doesn't like secretaries who have sexy looks, finally accepts Casandra as his secretary for returning the favor. How do they work together since both of them have opposite personalities? Eric the cold CEO who doesn't believe in love and Casandra is a friendly woman who is trying to find her true love. Is it possible for them to fall in love with each other?

Lily Collins is what you could consider as a girl with a purpose. By purpose, I mean to avoid trouble and to stay away from a certain blue eyed boy, with the means to torment her. A boy she can't help have undying feelings for...Asher Grey has everything, girls,money, people kissing at his feet so what more could he ask for? Other than the girl he finds pleasure in bullying, a girl he's in love with. At some point he won't be able to hold in his feelings any longer, it'll start to peek out.______________________________"You look like you just got banged!" He teased as he glanced at my state."What, no I don't?" I said, well more like asked uncertainly as I passed my hand through my unruly hair. I felt the disheveled strands as my finger tugged at some knots.Niall chuckled "Your hair is a mess and your shirt is inside out." He pointed out. My hand automatically went to my shirt as I tugged it and looked around at the prying eyes of the other students."Oh shit!" I muttered once I realized that indeed it was inside out. Gosh this is embarrassing. I pulled down my skirt suddenly feeling self conscious and pulled my shirt higher as I saw a little bit of my boobs peeking out."You also have a lot of love bites." He pointed out again louder than needed, making me give him a lethal look. If looks could kill he would have been dead right now. Maybe I can arrange that."Shut up don't point it out!" I hissed. I'm gonna kill Asher.

"And Action!” I slowly lick my lips as I glance across the room at Trevor lying on the bed. His bare chest glows under the spotlights and practically begs to be touched. Can I keep myself under control? What am I thinking? I have to keep myself reined in. I don't want to ruin anything between us. We are good friends and nothing more, but I can't confess to him I've had wet dreams of him almost every night. Tiffany, a struggling up-and-coming actor, finally gets the break she has been wishing for and wins the leading role in a new drama. Her sexy co-star, Trevor, is someone she is familiar with and knows from her initial days of her first drama. They barely had any scenes together during that first drama, but they've developed a friendship and share the same agency and manager. When the fans initially saw them together, they immediately wanted them to be a couple. This new drama provides them exactly that. With her dreams finally coming true, will Tiffany be able to keep her secret hidden? Or will the intimate scenes with her handsome co-star unravel everything she has worked so hard to hide?

I didn't kill my asshole ex-boyfriend. I knew I might've said I would countless times in the text I sent before we broke up, and I wasn't the calmest person. But I really didn't kill him. I, however, am the number one and only suspect of his murder since to everyone else he was a sAiNt. But hey, let's not talk ill of the dead. The point is, I was stuck at the station being questioned about something I didn't do. And I thought it was the worst thing that could've possibly happened to me. That is, until I set eyes on the detective of the case. I may just play along for a while. See where this thing goes....

Ariel Young finally had her life together. She graduated from a prestigious University in New York and finally landed her dream job.Well...not exactly THE job. Her goal is to start from the bottom and work her way up to become the Executive member of the company. To achieve that goal, she decided to accept the job as the assistant of the CEO at the company. A narcissistic nightmarish of a person who became determined to make her his woman.Find my interview with Goodnovel: https://tinyurl.com/yxmz84q2

Have you ever had “A Man Who Got Away?” Sarah Kate Wright, a beautiful heiress to Wright Diamond Corporation, let Carlos Ronaldo slip through her fingers. He loved her, but she did not see him. He left Braeton City without saying goodbye. After nine years, Carlos became widely known as “The Devil” on court. Hot, famous, and rich, he became every woman's desire. He returned to Braeton City and came face to face with… the girl he left behind. *** "Why did you leave without a word?” Kate asked, looking straight into his grey eyes. "You were my world, but you did not see me,” Carlos replied. It was funny how the tables turned because after Carlos left, all Kate could see was him. *** Book 4 of The Wright Family Series Book 1: Mommy, Where Is Daddy? The Forsaken Daughter's Return Book 2: Flash Marriage: A Billionaire For A Rebound Book 3: I Kissed A CEO And He Liked It Book 5: I Fell For The Boy His Daddy Was A Bonus Each book can be read as a standalone. Follow me on social media. Search Author_LiLhyz on IG & FB.

Ever wonder whether humans and beasts could live together in peace? Ever wonder if humans would survive in a strange world that also Host mythical creatures called Beasts?. Well look no further. Double world exist. It is a strange era where both humans and beasts lives in. They ain't cooperative but they maintain peace. They hate one another and discriminate but still, no one shed unnecessary blood. That was until Hayden Dark, a demigod become more powerful than anyone else. He is a strange Beast, cursed by the gods and created by the Beast lord. He was ordered to marry a human so he could redeem himself from his mistakes. He was advised to marry the beautiful, hot headed Isabella Martin so he could save his beloved father's life. It was merely an arranged marriage and no love exist between the two couples. Both have their reasons for complying to their parents request. Hayden thought he would always be as healthy and as powerful as always while Isabella Martin thought she would be as smart and confident as always but both were wrong. blood were shed, heart was broken , nature take it's course and time works it's wonder. *** Book 1 : Falling for the sexy Beast.

Nicholas Hawk and I have been married for four years, and I've always wanted to have his children. But he never had sex with me and I always thought he wasn't interested in sex. The doctor explained that the patient had an anal fissure caused by sexual intercourse. At that moment, I felt my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach. She's Nicholas' sister, albeit one with whom he isn't blood-related.

"PLEASE FUCK ME DOCTOR". ANN BEGGED AS SHE CRAVED FOR HIS TOUCH IN-BETWEEN HER SPLAYED LEGS. //DARK ROMANCE// WARNING! THIS BOOK CONTAINS STEAMY SCENE IN EVERY CHAPTER, IF YOU ARE BELOW 18 AND YOU FEEL INSUCRE ABOUT READING EROTIC BOOK, PLEASE DON'T READ. IT CONTAINS HIGH SEXUAL CONTENT!!!...THOSE WHO WISH TO CONTINUE, PLEASE DO BECAUSE YOU WIL REALLY ENJOY IT, IT'S WORTH IT! … I am Ann hamburger. A sex maniac. I mean, I love having sex. And I am a fan of one night stands. My parents and ex boyfriend thinks I am cursed but my body is just highly sensitive. It was all fun to me but I got to thinking that they might be right. So my best friend introduced someone to me—A sex doctor . Marcus Morris. She says he is my last hope. My question is, am I really cursed? Can a sex doctor help me stop being a sex maniac? Well flip through this pages and read the story of my life. The shades of Ann...

Emma Lewis is a witty and confident girl who never fears anyone. She comes to the conclusion that she is done with guys when her boyfriend of three years, cheats on her. But what happens when she encounters Austin Williams, an attractive, intimidating, and cocky guy who always gets what he wants and never dates. Will she change her mind and give in to her desires or fight the undeniable attraction between them?