Funny Sexual Jokes

Since the day Serenity got hitched to a stranger on their blind date, she had assumed married life would be ordinary but respectful and mundane. It never crossed her mind that her new husband would be clingy like a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of a shoe. To her utmost surprise, he could make her troubles disappear whenever she was in a fix. Despite her questioning, her husband would always pass it off as luck. Until one day, she watched an interview with a local billionaire known for fussing over his wife. That was when she noticed the uncanny resemblance of the billionaire to her husband. The wife whom he was showering attention on turned out to be her!

Rosalie Jacobs had been married to Byron Lawrence for three years before finally getting a divorce. The entirety of Coast City frowned upon her as the outcast wife of a rich family.Six years later, Rosalie returned to the country with a pair of twins and became a world renowned miracle doctor.Countless people flocked to marry her.Suitor No. 1 said, "Miss Jacobs, are your children missing a father? What do you think of me? If you agree, I will treat them like my own."Suitor No. 2, "Miracle doctor Jacobs, I was blown away by your beauty and talent when I first met you. I would like the chance to love you to the best of my ability for the rest of my life. President Lawrence is blind to turn his back on you. I would never leave you!"Just then, a little girl appeared. She hugged Rosalie's leg and said, "Mommy, daddy has been kneeling on the washboard for three days and three nights now. He asked if you’d calmed down yet. If you have, he wants to go to the Civil Affairs Bureau to get remarried."

Despite being single, Molly May had become pregnant without her knowing how six years ago. As a result, she fell into disrepute and got abandoned by her family.Six years later, she returned with her triplets: Alex, Ben, and Claudia. The triplets with high IQ found that Sean Anderson was their biological father. Hence, they went to meet him without telling their mother.However, the CEO refused to recognize his offspring. “I have lived chastely and never had physical contact with a woman.”“DNA doesn’t lie, and that’s a fact,” said Alex, the eldest of the bunch.“People say men will forget what they've done after pulling on pants. It seems to be true,” said Ben, the middle child.“You should be happy and grateful to have three adorable kids and a beautiful wife,” said Claudia, the youngest of the bunch.While Sean played the role of a father and his relationship with the triplets grew rapidly, he was estranged from his wife.So the triplets taught him tips and tricks to pursue women: making bold moves, stealing kisses, proposing, etc.Nevertheless, Molly was distraught by his moves. “Such flirting skills befit an experienced male escort.”When Sean's identity was finally revealed, he retorted, “You are the 'escort.' Your entire family are 'escorts!'”

WARNING: THIS BOOK MAY CONTAIN STEAMY AND SEXUAL CONTENT WHICH IS STRICTLY NOT FOR KIDS UNDER +18 . "Bryce!". I screamed as I feel his huge cap nudge at the entrance of my womanhood. He groaned as he pressed in deeper before he slides into my wet entrance. My walls clenched around him while he stretched my inner muscles as he kept pushing deep inside me. "Please". I cried and placed the tip of my finger down at his waist in an effort to push myself away from him. "Please". I begged but he only retracted his hip and thrusted into me fully, deeper, stretching me wide enough to accommodate his full length. . He is the handsome, sexy and heartless devil. The sinner. She is the purest, innocent and beautiful angel. Two polar opposites, one single attraction. *** Having lived in the convent all her life, Hera Whitson manages to secure a job as a maid in the household of Bryce Donovan. The inhuman sex god that has the entire female population at his feet. He lives for sex, he celebrates and relish the electricity of it with every fibre of his being and sees no better reason for being alive. One look at Hera and Bryce is smitten. She is like an addictive drug, a moth to a flame and he will do anything to get burned by her. Relinquished by her heat. What happens when Hera finds herself battling against her principles and sexual attraction for Bryce? Will she be caught in the web of Bryce's twisted game of lust?

SIX-PACK SERIES BOOK THREE *While this book can be read as a standalone, I'd highly recommend reading books one (Alpha Gray) and two (Alpha Theo) for context before this book* JAX : I'm no stranger to one night stands. Lots of girls want a hook-up with an alpha, so why should this one be any different? Maybe it's because she's the best I ever had. Maybe it's because she refused to tell me anything about herself. We agreed to one night, no strings attached. The problem is, I can't get that night out of my head; I've been obsessed with finding this girl since. When she shows up at the squad complex for training, I feel like it's my lucky day- until my best friend introduces her as his sister and things get... complicated. I can't go against bro code, right? Even if Quinn is my dream girl. Even if there's a crazy attraction between us that's harder to resist every day. I'm so screwed.  ~ QUINN : One night. It was supposed to be one night of anonymous, meaningless with a stranger. I just wanted to have a good time and forget about my cheating ex. It definitely did the trick- I haven't thought about my ex since, but now I can't stop thinking about that night or the sexy stranger who had all the right moves. When I arrive at the complex for a fresh start, I'm shocked to see him again- and even more surprised to find out that he's not only an alpha, but also one of my brother's best friends. Theo would Jax if he found out about that night. He can never know- which means I have to keep my distance. Even if I can't stop fantasizing about Jax. Even if it kills me.

Meet Skyler Jackson. She is the Alpha's 17-year-old nearly 18-year-old daughter, but is also the pack slave and the Alpha's punching bag. She dreamed of a mate when she was younger but doesn't believe, anymore. Meet the Mason brothers: Cole, Elijah, and Nathan. They are the Alphas of the most feared pack in the country. They are said to be ruthless and cruel to whoever crosses them, but they will also protect packs and loved ones with their lives. What will happen when Skyler meets these three brothers? What will happen when one commits the ultimate betrayal? Will she be able to forgive? Will his brothers? What will be in Skyler's future? *** Warning read at your own discretion as this story may trigger some readers as it contains physical and sexual abuse, violence and mature scenes. Please read at own discretion!

TRIGGER WARNING!! Sexual content. Slavery. 18+. Violence at the beginning. Abuse. Read at own risk. ~ ALPHA IAN ~ I have a sexy wife who I let everyone f**k, I feel nothing for her, to me she's my means of release and pride. My pack not only shares everything, they share everyone. Conquering packs for fun is our hobby. To us there is no such thing as a mate, because of the curse that the moon goddess bestowed upon us. But ever since I conquered the blood moon pack, I'm beginning to wonder what I feel for the filthy runt of the pack. I want no one to touch her. And what's worse is that I want to spread her legs apart and thrust my c**k into her tight, sweet p***y violently just so I could satisfy my urge and desires.

I Drew Kizmet, Future Alpha of the Crescent Blood Peak Pack here-by reject you Jewel Stuart as my Mate and future Luna of this pack... (He smirked and looked down and me).... I stared directly into his eyes and said.... "I Jewel Stuart of the Crescent Blood Peak Pack here-by accept your rejection... Am I free to go now Drew? I'll be late for Chemistry".... I turn and head to class and I can feel his eyes as well as other students eyes on me as I make my way through the halls and into class... **Jade I know you took the blow of the rejection for me are you okay?...** Yes Jewel I'm fine, just need to rest for a bit..** Okay, thank you for doing that, take your time and rest, I'll check in on you later..**...okay! Later!Jewel was a warrior, the first daughter of Laura and Jaxon Stuart who where 20th generation warriors in their pack. Jewel naturally grew up tough and rough as a fighter which made her a bit of a tom boy but her family loved her and she them.Drew Kizmet the first son and next in line for the Alpha Title of Crescent Blood Peak Pack, His parents Alpha Dustin and Luna Kristen Kizmet are just, fair and strong leaders who intend to pass down their titles once their son finds his mate and go traveling, do things they where unable to do during the years.Lets find out how things play out for Jewel and for Drew.

Warnings: This book may contain some violence, explicit and matured content and BDSM! I know what you're thinking this sounds like a dirty, filthy book filled with fantasy smut stories. Unveiling the Tapestry of Pleasure in this novel takes readers on an eclectic journey through the diverse sexual landscapes of various characters. Each chapter unfolds a unique narrative, exploring the intricacies of desire, intimacy, and self-discovery. From clandestine affairs to unconventional relationships, the novel weaves together a mosaic of human experiences, challenging preconceptions and celebrating the multifaceted nature of sexuality. As characters navigate their desires, the story invites readers to reflect on their own perspectives, fostering a nuanced exploration of the spectrum of human connection. This novel is hot and heavy full of insta-love and lust at its finest, with dominant alpha heros completely obsessed with claiming his/her untouched heroine. So if you’re searching for a hot, filthy, dirty ,wild sex fantasies novel then you’ve gotten one. For example maybe a story that entails: A hot professor, with his horny student! Or a romance between: A hot neighbor ready to be fucked by her long time neighbor crush! Or something fifty shades of grey alike: A Dominant his Submissive. This book is rated 18..... If you can handle the heat, well join the ride because things are going to get messy while reading.

Adea isn’t interested in dating or finding her Goddess-chosen mate. She’s determined to ignore the nightmares that plague her sleep, keep her job at Half Moon pack, and live a peaceful life. When her best friend, Mavy begs her to go with her to Desert Moon to find her mate, she can’t say no.What does Adea do when she’s the one to find her mate at the Crescent Moon Ball? Will she piece together what her dreams mean in time or is history fated to repeat itself? !! Mature content 18+ !! Contains violence, physical emotional, and sexual abuse, rape, sex, and death. May be triggering to survivors.