Miserable Funny Quotes Novels & Stories

About fifteen minutes into the drive, I asked, “Why so slow?” “Oh, I’m sorry. Do you feel the need, the need for… going faster?” I laughed so loudly I almost snorted and had to put both of my hands over my nose since even a baby like me recognizes the famous movie quote he almost said. “You’re a funny guy in an unassuming way.” He turned a slight shade of pink. “Yeah, well, in our line of work you have to find some way to be a little bit of a comedian, or you’ll end up in the loony bin.”

"I'm too busy for this nonsense." "What? Nonsense? You're the one at fault here! How can you be such a miser? Don't you know misers are as despicable as rats in the gutters?" "Go to someone else if you're going to act all crazy." Hansel wondered what the hell she was talking about.

I was laughing with my best friend and the fact that I might die soon was pushed at the back of my head. "No, I've got a better one," I said still laughing, "I'm like Dracula whose down to his last meal." "And his fangs all fell out," Asher added and we both burst out into uncontrollable laughter. "Why are we finding this humorous?" I asked as I wiped a tear, "it's not even funny at all." "I guess we're just trying to laugh all our pain away and pretend it's just a huge joke," he answered as he sobered up. "I honestly don't want to think of you dying so soon and leaving me all alone in this crazy world."

I recall Massimo ruining the moment yesterday in his exact words: “It's nice to see that you're capable of laughing at something as ordinary as a bunch of dancers." Like I was a robot who did have any emotions! What a dimwit. He's probably so used to travelling the world and watching too many dancers that he'd forgotten to appreciate little moments like this. And speaking of which, I should probably text him to let him know my whereabouts. But I'm still so pissed at his remarks about my person. This will show him.

The owner of the bakery laughed, “You say that every time, but please don’t stop.” Miss Franklin laughed out loud, “Zariah, you always were funny, but I’m happy to see that you never lost that.” I smiled, “What’s the point in turning bitter. That doesn’t help at all. It’s like taking poison and hoping it kills those who hurt you.” She agreed, “I’m so happy you are happy despite all you’ve been through.”

All I had left was pain and hurt which I knew I deserved for being a gullible stupid cunt. “You aren’t a gullible stupid cunt.” Zoe groaned. She managed to look worse than I did having stayed up most of the night trying to cheer me up. There was no cheering me up. I was a lost cause. “You aren’t a lost cause!” Zoe yelled. It was like my world had been crushed by an extinction level meteorite that had come for once purpose and one purpose only; the total annihilation of everything.that made me happy. I must be the most miserable cunt in the world right now.

Only really, really rich people say shit like that, "Believe it or not, poor people are a lot happier. When you have to make money for survival, you don't have much time to waste or spend doing a deep dive into your own mind. But when you already have money, you have no choice but to realize, maybe the sadness is something so profound it really can't be fixed with money. Sometimes is your own self, sometimes is someone else, but even when money isn't really a problem, people are miserable. Trust me. My whole family is rich and we're all still miserable sometimes." "Damn," I let out, "You're so smart and wise. Maybe because you're so old." "Don't," he says, not even smiling at my joke, "I don

She said that and I started dying on the floor, that was probably the funniest thing I've ever heard. "That is the fucking stoner spectrum!! Either you're a fucking Einstein or a fucking retard that tried to play baseball with a robot," I said, laughing through my words, causing Alex to break too, laughing and pointing out how fucked up my sense of humor is, "It's not my fault! Imagine having a fucked up humor before going through the dungeons of hell to become an arch-demon." "Tha-That's fair but still, that's fucked!" "Fuck me, that was funny," I said and the look I got from Alex scared the fuck outta me, she looked hungry but also cautious, "You good?"

“I really pity them now” “No you don’t” “Yeah true that. I would love to feed on their misery” “Let’s go to the betting booth then. Let’s milk them dry !” “You are going to give them a blow job each ?” “Eww. Noooooo, dirty woman. I meant milking his purse dry. Ughh” “You bet” Everyone laughed at that.

“I really pity them now” “No you don’t” “Yeah true that. I would love to feed on their misery” “Let’s go to the betting booth then. Let’s milk them dry !” “You are going to give them a blow job each ?” “Eww. Noooooo, dirty woman. I meant milking his purse dry. Ughh” “You bet” Everyone laughed at that.