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I've got a tight grip 🎵
on reality 🎵
But I can't let go 🎵
of what's in front of me 🎵
here I know your 🎵
leaving in the morning, 🎵
when you wake up 🎵
Leave me with some 🎵
kind of proof it's not a dream, 🎵
oh 🎵
Sa takot na mahuli uli niya akong titig na titig sa kanya, yumuko na lang ako saka pinakinggan ang kanta ni Jessa. Pero nagulat ako nang may dalawang pares ng paa ang bumungad sa harapan ko. Hindi ako umangat ng tingin dahil alam ko kung sino ang taong yun. Mas napatunayan ko pang siya nga iyon nang walang ano-ano'y bigla na lang niyang kinanta ang last part ng kanta ni Jessa.
Kabanata 32
Leave
---
Alam ko sa ginagawa ko, tapos na ang lahat. Kakasuklaman niya ako. Hinding hindi na niya ako patatawarin pa. Traydor ako. Ang tanging rason lang kung bakit ko patuloy na vina-validate ang kasalanang ginagawa ko ay dahil sa mga kapatid ko. I need to do the mission successfully para sa kanila. Alam kong hindi nagbibiro sa B. Alam niya ang kahinaan ko. Ayaw kong mawala ang mga kapatid ko. I need them to be safe. I need to be strong. Dapat ipagsintabi ko na muna ang damdaming ito. Wala naman itong patutunguhan. Marami pa akong daang tatahakin. I need to set aside this heart. I touched my heart. It bleeds here and I don't even know why. T*angina naman nito! Dami ko nang nata
“Akala ko tinanggap mo.”
Lumamig ang ekspresyon ni Diana. Tumikyas ang kanyang kilay habang nakatitig sa mommy at daddy njya.
“I've had enough, mom, dad,” Diana said coldly. “He means nothing to me now,” she said, leaving her parents in stunned silence.
Let me know if you ever change, if you ever change your mind
I still love you, let me know
I can't promise you that I'll be waiting
I still love you, let me know
But for you, I'll leave anything behind
I still love you, let me know
Paulit ulit na lang ang mga huling bahagi ng kanta. The loudness is only varying until up to the very end, it slowly faded. We trailed further north, to roads that leave the city. Zephaniah turned to me. I was at lost of words when the song finished. Once again, it has fed my long burried affection and hopes.
“Ganoon na lang iyon? Dahil pagod ka na iiwanan mo ako? You’ll just leave me like this?! Paano naman ako?! Hindi ba ako pagod? I am also tired Lexus but I chose to stay with you kasi mahal kita! Kasi alam kong gagabayan mo ako! Alam kong hindi mo ako pababaya--”
“I am leaving you! Can’t you fucking see it?! I don’t want to be with you anymore!”
“You even said na ako iyong pahinga mo! What is that huh?! Was that just a fleeting scene because you’re happy? And now that we’re in the middle of this shit iiwanan mo na lang ako ng ganito?!!” Nanginig ang labi ko kaya mariin akong pumikit ang tumalikod muna sa kanya saglit. Sobrang hagulhol ako. I can feel the throbbing pain.
“Because if I let you stay, I’ll destroy you.”
At iyon ang gabi—ang halik niya. Fierce, desperate, parang goodbye. Napikit ako nang mahigpit, pinipisil ang tela ng shirt niya tulad ng isang rosaryo na kailangang hawakan. Para akong nakabitin sa hangin, hindi sigurado sa susunod na hinga.
He stepped back and the room felt huge, cold. “Leave, before I change my mind.” he rasped, turning away.
Nagulantang ako sa pagiging emotional nito ngayon.
[Mrry Ann 🎶🎶]
Sometimes I stare at you
While you are sleeping
I listen to your breathing
Amazed how I somehow
Managed to
Sweep you off of your feet, girl
Your perfect little feet, girl
I took for granted
What you do
But I do better
I know, baby, I can do better
If you leave me tonight
I'll wake up alone
Don't tell me
I will make it on my own
Don't leave me tonight
This heart of stone
Will sink 'til it dies
You, ooh, ooh, you, ooh, ooh
You, ooh, ooh, you, ooh, ooh
You, ooh, ooh, you, ooh, ooh
Ooh
We go fast with the game we play
Who knows why it's gotta be this way
We say nothin' more than we need
I say, "Your place", when we leave
And she's singing a familiar song at that time.
🎵My love
It's been a long time since I cried
And left you out of the blue
It's hard
Leaving you that way
When I never wanted to
Self-denial is a game
A stranger I never woulda want until
There was you
'Cause I have learned that love is beyond
What human can imagine
More it clears the more I gotta let you go
'Cause what I don't understand
Is why I'm feeling so bad now
When I know it was my idea
I could've just denied the truth and lied