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Angelo

Loss

I'm in pain ... Physically, emotionally, psychologically, and mentally. I can't explain the feeling that I am experiencing, and it feels like I've lost two of the most important people in my life.

I feel numb. I feel everything and nothing at the same time. The feeling sucks and I need Cleo right now. I can't do this on my own. I regret how I treated her when I woke up three days ago. I had heard the conversation between her and Daniel, and she was conflicted as to how to tell me what was going on and what had happened. 

When I came around I was angry and again Cleo was by my bedside. She was at the receiving end of my rant. I didn't mean to be so mean to her ... I was hurting and I'm doing a very great job at hurting her. 

She's always been sensitive, and she has taught me how to be a bit more gentle in the way I approached things but this time I messed up so badly. I lost it at her and she walked out upset. It was only after I spoke to Daniel, that I had realized I was way too hard on her. I called her last night and she sent my calls straight to voicemail. I had also texted her and she didn't respond. 

I had two funerals to attend in one day and the first one was Luigi's funeral. Half of me is missing and it's because my brother is gone. I was allowed to be there because as it turned out I am half Massa and half Luca. Nicolai confirmed earlier what Cleo and Daniel knew; that I had inherited the Massa empire. I was at the Luca estate. While I was fixing my tie when the door to the main bedroom opened. 

" Massa." 

" Daniel, have you heard from Cleo? " 

" No. She won't take my calls either. " 

" I messed up badly and I love her. " 

" She was going to tell you at the right time... Instead you just woke up and asked her to tell you; what was going on, and when she asked for time you kicked her out. "

" I didn't mean to. I was hurting." 

" Listen to Angelo; I know that you are hurting and I can only imagine what you're going through because you suffered a double tragedy ."

" You also lost your brother. " 

" Luigi and Cloudio loved you. " 

" How am I going to get through today without my wife ?" 

"She also hasn't checked in with the twins and Ava. My Mom is worried."

I started feeling tried too because it wasn't like Cleo not to call in and check in with the kids

"Where are my little angels? "

" They are with Florence and Nancy. " 

"How are you keeping it together."

"Eleanor. She too hasn't heard from Cleo and her phone just rings. Marc too doesn't know where she is. "

I took a deep breath.

" Let me get through today ."

" You've got me. " 

" Cleo." 

" She didn't leave the country and we have eyes and ears everywhere. She will show up soon remember she also loved Claudio."

" He loved her too. Luigi also loved her and I understand why she can't come. " 

" Both your brother and your uncle meant a lot to Cleo too. She wasn't keeping the truth from you. Are you in love with my sister? " 

" With everything in me. " 

" You of all people should know that she always tries to administer painless painfully. You'll feel it, yes, but she'll take the blow for you to make it feel less severe when it hits. "

" For what it's worth I'm thankful that you're here and Cleo is lucky to have you as a brother . " 

Daniel walked over to hug me and let go 

" So are you."

" I'm still in denial."

"We are family, aren't we? " 

I sat on the chair and cried. 

"We are. You are my older brother after all all

" I am. When you are ready to talk to Romano he will listen. " 

" Our dad isn't heartless?" 

" No, and you also have Salvatore who loves you. He just gives you a hard time because he wanted what you have. "

" My wife is off-limits." 

" She'll probably be at your father's service. She refused to speak according to Blake. " 

" I just don't know why she wouldn't. " 

" It doesn't sound like her but something's going on with my sister and you have to do some major fixing up. For the mess you made." 

" I have two funerals to get through and I need her around. " 

" Everyone's been busy with a lot and the press is also going to be at your Uncle's funeral too. I've tried all I could to keep the kids out of the papers You have a reputation ."

" Had. I love your sister and with everything that is going on the girls I used to go out with would have bailed."

" Jane is also going to be there. " 

" I need to tell Cleo about my history with her now Ex best friend. " 

" Please don't fall off the wagon I'm here for you."

" Who's there for you when you are busy taking care of everyone." 

" Eleanor and Salvatore. " 

I lightly punched his shoulder.

" You have me now too. You are blood and I protect blood with my life."

" You are blood to Michelangelo and I always have your back ." 

" You do know that Jane has every right to be at your Uncle's funeral too right?" 

" I know and she's seated at the family section. I just hope your sister understands that I was a different person back then. I didn't mean to do what I did ." 

" Jane forgave you didn't she? " 

" She did. She also cheated on me when I was ready to work things out and she lied to me repeatedly ..." 

I heard Daniel's phone vibrate and after one glance he gave me a grim look. 

" To be continued ?" 

" Yes. " 

" Come on we need to go and say goodbye..." 

" I'm not ready to say goodbye... " 

" None of us are ever ready to say goodbye but let go. Fear holds on."

I wiped tears that were starting to spring out again. 

" Love...Let's go." 

©#KCMmuoe