When you FORGET me

Brrr… brrr…

Napatingin ako sa phone ko nang paulit-ulit itong mag-vibrate sa ibabaw ng bedside table.

Hindi ko agad sinagot.

I stared at the screen, watching the name flashing across it.

Mia calling…

Napabuntong-hininga ako.

“Hello?”

“Girl! Asan ka na?”

Napatingin ako sa wall clock.

“I'm still at home.”

“What?!”

Napairap ako. “Bakit ka sumisigaw?”

“8 o'clock na, girl!! Hindi ka pa umaalis?”

“Alam ko.”

“Eh bakit nandiyan ka pa?”

“I'm thinking.”

“About what?”

Napatingin ako sa damit na nakasabit sa harap ko.

Isang simpleng black dress.

Hindi naman siya bongga. Hindi rin sobrang sexy. Just enough para hindi ako mukhang pumunta sa isang formal event na parang bagong gising.

“About kung pupunta ba talaga ako.”

Tahimik siya sandali.

Then she sighed.

“Please tell me you're joking.”

“Hindi.”

“Girl…”

“I don't know, Mia.”

“Alam kong kinakabahan ka.”

“Hindi ako kinakabahan.”

“Liar.”

Napangiti ako nang kaunti.

“Okay. Maybe a little.”

“A little?”

“Fine. Sobrang kinakabahan ako.”

“Because of him?”

Hindi ako sumagot.

Kailangan pa ba niyang itanong?

Siya.

Laging siya.

Kahit ilang taon na ang lumipas, isang pangalan lang niya ang kailangan marinig para bumalik lahat.

Adrian.

I closed my eyes.

At biglang bumalik sa isip ko ang isang lumang alaala.

“Promise?”

Nasa harap ko siya noon, basang-basa dahil sa ulan. Labing-anim lang kami.

“Promise what?”

“Na hindi mo ko iiwan.”

Tumawa siya.

“Ang drama mo.”

“Adrian!”

“Okay, okay.”

Iniabot niya sakin ang pinky finger niya.

“Promise.”

I hooked my pinky with his.

“Forever?”

“Forever.”

Napadilat ako.

“Hello?”

Napailing ako at bumalik sa realidad.

“I'm here.”

“Pupunta ka ba?”

Huminga ako nang malalim.

“Yes.”

“Sure?”

“Yes.”

“Hindi ka uurong?”

“No.”

“Good. Kasi pupunta rin ako diyan in ten minutes. Pag hindi ka pa ready, ako mismo magbibihis sayo.”

Napatawa ako.

“Ang psycho mo.”

“I know.”

“Fine. I'll see you there.”

“Okay. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

Click.

Ibinaba ko ang tawag.

I stared at myself in the mirror.

“Okay.”

Huminga ako nang malalim.

“One night.”

Isang gabi lang.

Hindi naman ibig sabihin na dahil pupunta ako, may mangyayari.

Hindi naman ibig sabihin na dahil nandoon siya…

Kailangan kong kausapin siya.

I grabbed my small black bag.

Clack.

Isinara ko ang drawer.

Kinuha ko ang phone ko at saka lumabas ng kwarto.

Click.

Sinara ko ang p***o.

Tahimik ang buong bahay.

I stood there for a moment.

Then I whispered to myself—

“Let's do this.”

---

Vroom!

Umalingawngaw ang makina ng sasakyan habang papalayo ako sa bahay.

Rain started falling against the windshield.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Mabilis kong pinunasan ang gilid ng mata ko nang biglang pumasok sa isip ko ang huling balita tungkol sa kanya.

After all these years…

Bumalik na siya.

Hindi bilang batang kilala ko.

Hindi bilang best friend ko.

Hindi bilang first love ko.

Kundi bilang isang CEO.

Adrian Blackwood.

One of the youngest and most successful CEOs in the country.

Cold.

Arrogant.

Untouchable.

At ayon sa mga nababasa ko online, halos walang personal na buhay.

Except…

May girlfriend siya.

I squeezed the steering wheel.

“Bakit ba kasi kailangan kong malaman?”

Beep!

Napalingon ako nang businahan ako ng kotse sa likod.

“Shit!”

Mabilis kong pinaandar ulit ang sasakyan.

“Sorry!”

Makalipas ang halos isang oras, nakarating na ko sa hotel kung saan ginaganap ang event.

Luxury.

Glass walls.

Bright lights.

Expensive cars everywhere.

Huminto ako sa entrance.

Screech.

Dahan-dahan kong pinatay ang makina.

Tahimik akong nakaupo sa loob ng kotse.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit parang gusto kong umuwi.

“Pwede pa.”

I looked at the entrance.

“Pwede pa akong umatras.”

Pero bago ko pa mabuksan ang pinto—

Brrr… brrr…

Napatingin ako sa phone ko.

Mia.

“Hello?”

“Nasaan ka?!”

“I'm here.”

“Where?”

“Sa parking.”

“Girl!”

“I'm coming.”

“Bilis!”

Click.

Napabuntong-hininga ako.

“Okay. Tama na.”

Binuksan ko ang p***o.

Clack.

Paglabas ko, sinalubong agad ako ng malamig na hangin at amoy ng ulan.

Pat. Pat. Pat.

Mabilis kong binuksan ang payong ko.

I looked at the building.

Then I walked inside.

---

Pagpasok ko sa ballroom, agad akong sinalubong ng malakas na music at ingay ng mga taong nag-uusap.

Clink.

Mga baso.

Laughs.

Mga taong nagtatawanan.

Click. Click.

Camera flashes.

Napahawak ako sa strap ng bag ko.

“Finally!”

Biglang may humila sa braso ko.

“Mia!”

“Akala ko hindi ka na pupunta.”

“Pupunta naman ako.”

“Yeah, after making me wait forever.”

Napangiti ako.

“Sorry.”

Tiningnan niya ako mula ulo hanggang paa.

“Okay. You look good.”

“You too.”

“Alam ko.”

Napatawa ako.

“Feeling.”

“Obviously.”

She grabbed my arm.

“Come on. May table tayo sa harap.”

“Sa harap?”

“Yeah.”

“Mia…”

“Relax.”

“Hindi ako kinakabahan.”

“Sure.”

“Seriously.”

“Then bakit nanginginig kamay mo?”

Napatingin ako sa kamay ko.

Shit.

Totoo nga.

Mabilis ko itong itinago sa likod ko.

“Cold lang.”

“Aircon lang 'to.”

“Exactly.”

“Whatever.”

Hinila niya ko papunta sa table.

At habang naglalakad kami, hindi ko maiwasang tumingin sa stage.

Wala pa siya.

Good.

Maybe I can survive the night.

Umupo ako.

Kumuha ako ng tubig.

Clink.

Then—

Mic feedback.

Napatingin ang lahat sa stage.

“Good evening, everyone.”

The host smiled.

“Tonight, we're celebrating the newest chapter of Blackwood Corporation…”

Naramdaman kong nanlamig ang kamay ko.

Blackwood.

So this was really his event.

I swallowed.

“And now, let's welcome the man behind the company's newest expansion…”

Tumigil ang host.

“Mr. Adrian Blackwood.”

Parang may humampas sa dibdib ko.

Boom.

Hindi literal.

Pero ganon ang pakiramdam.

The room suddenly became too quiet.

Then I saw him.

He walked onto the stage.

Black suit.

White shirt.

No tie.

His hair was slightly messy, but somehow it made him look even more intimidating.

His face was sharper now.

Mature.

Cold.

Beautiful.

Damn.

I immediately looked away.

“That's him?” tanong ni Mia.

“Yeah.”

“Wow.”

“Don't.”

“I'm just saying.”

“Please.”

She leaned closer.

“Girl…”

“What?”

“Ang gwapo.”

“Shut up.”

“I'm serious.”

“I know.”

“Hindi ka ba…”

“Don't.”

Tahimik siya.

I looked back at the stage.

He was speaking.

Pero hindi ko na marinig ang sinasabi niya.

All I could hear was his voice from years ago.

“Forever, okay?”

I blinked rapidly.

No.

Hindi ngayon.

Hindi dito.

I reached for my glass.

Clink.

Then I saw her.

A woman walked toward him.

Long hair.

Beautiful.

Elegant.

Perfect.

She smiled and stood beside Adrian.

The host turned toward them.

“And of course, we have Miss Camille Reyes, Adrian's partner and fiancée—”

I froze.

My hand stopped.

“W-what?”

Napatingin sakin si Mia.

“What?”

“Fiancee?”

She looked at the stage.

“Wait…”

The host continued talking, but wala na kong narinig.

Fiancee.

Hindi girlfriend.

Fiancee.

My chest tightened.

“Girl…”

“I'm okay.”

“Hindi ka okay.”

“I'm fine.”

“Please don't lie to me.”

I stood up.

“Aalis ako.”

“Ha?”

“I need air.”

“Samahan kita.”

“No.”

“Pero—”

“I'll be back.”

Lumabas ako ng ballroom bago pa niya ko mapigilan.

Click.

Pagkasara ng p***o, bigla kong naramdaman ang bigat ng dibdib ko.

I walked faster.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Hanggang sa makarating ako sa hallway.

Tahimik.

Malaki.

Malamlam ang ilaw.

I leaned against the wall.

“Fuck.”

Napapikit ako.

“Bakit ba ko affected?”

I laughed bitterly.

“Ang tanga mo.”

He forgot me.

Years ago.

And yet here I was.

Still remembering everything.

Brrr… brrr…

Napatingin ako sa phone ko.

Mia.

Hindi ko sinagot.

Again.

Brrr… brrr…

I declined the call.

“Sorry.”

Huminga ako nang malalim.

I was about to return to the ballroom when—

Knock. Knock.

Napalingon ako.

May p***o sa dulo ng hallway.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit, pero parang may narinig akong boses sa loob.

I stepped closer.

Knock. Knock.

Then the door suddenly opened.

Click.

Napaatras ako.

At nakita ko siya.

Adrian.

Nakatayo sa harap ko.

Close.

Too close.

For a second, walang nagsalita.

His eyes traveled across my face.

I couldn't breathe.

“Are you okay?”

His voice.

Same voice.

Different man.

I nodded.

“Yeah.”

“You look pale.”

“I'm fine.”

“Sure?”

“Yes.”

He stared at me. Parang may hinahanap sa mukha ko.

Then he frowned.

“Have we met before?” Tanong nito sakin

My heart stopped. I forced a smile.

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

He stepped closer.

My breath caught.

“Because you look…”

He paused.

“Familiar.”

I looked away.

“Maybe you just forgot.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“Forgot?”

I swallowed.

“Nothing.”

He stared at me for another second.

Then suddenly

“Adrian?”

A woman's voice.

Camille.

She appeared behind him.

“Who is she?”

Adrian looked at me.

“I don't know.”

Those three words hurt more than they should have.

I smiled.

“Exactly.”

I turned around.

“Good night.”

I walked away.

“Wait.”

His voice stopped me.

I froze.

Dahan-dahan akong lumingon.

“What's your name?”

My lips parted.

I almost said it.

Almost.

Pero hindi.

“Why?”

He looked at me.

“I don't know.”

He frowned.

“Something about you…”

He shook his head.

“Never mind.”

I smiled sadly.

“Okay.”

Then I walked away.

This time, hindi na siya tumawag.

---

Paglabas ko ng hotel, malakas na ang ulan.

Whoosh.

Pat. Pat. Pat.

I didn't care.

Hindi ko na binuksan ang payong ko.

Hinayaan kong mabasa ang buhok at damit ko.

Maybe the rain could wash away everything.

The memories.

The promises.

Him.

Beep!

May kotse na huminto sa harap ko.

Binuksan ang passenger window.

“Get in.”

Napatingin ako.

Si Adrian.

“What?”

“It's raining.”

“I know.”

“Get in.”

“No.”

He frowned.

“Why?”

“Because I can go home myself.”

“I'm not asking.”

Napatawa ako nang mahina.

“Still arrogant.”

“What did you say?”

“Nothing.”

I turned away.

He opened the car door.

Clack.

Lumabas siya.

“Hey.”

“Go back inside.”

“You're soaked.”

“It's fine.”

“Stop saying you're fine when you're obviously not.”

I looked at him.

“You don't know me.”

Silence.

He stared at me.

Then he said quietly—

“Maybe I don't.”

Napangiti ako nang mapait.

“Exactly.”

I walked past him.

But before I could take another step, he spoke again.

“What's your name?”

I stopped.

My heart was screaming the answer.

The name he used to say every day.

The name he once whispered when we were kids.

I slowly turned around.

“I'm…”

My voice broke.

“J-Jasmine.”

His eyes narrowed slightly.

“Jasmine.”

Hearing him say my name after all these years nearly destroyed me.

I looked away.

“Good night, Mr. Blackwood.”

I walked away before he could say anything else.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Behind me, narinig ko ang pagsara ng p***o ng kotse.

BANG!

Then the engine started.

Vroom.

Hindi ako lumingon. Kahit gusto ko. Sobrang gusto ko.

Pero hindi.

Dahil alam kong kapag lumingon ako, baka makita kong nakatingin pa rin siya sakin.

At baka umasa na naman ako.

Sa lalaking minsan nang nangako sakin ng forever.

Sa lalaking ngayon…

Hindi man lang maalala kung sino ako.

At habang patuloy na bumabagsak ang ulan, isang bagay lang ang paulit ulit kong iniisip

Paano mo mamahalin ulit ang isang taong hindi ka na maalala?

At mas masakit na tanong

Paano kung habang sinusubukan mong ipaalala sa kanya ang dati ninyong pagmamahalan, tuluyan na siyang main love sa iba?