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Sierra

It had been a year since I got married. Since I became someone else's. Since I belonged to someone for my whole life until death did us part. That was my reality now. I was someone's wife now. That was my title to uphold but was I happy? No I wasn't. But I had no choice in the matter either. My parents wished for this and after the events of Christian and my separation before we were even united added to it.

You might think I was crazy right now but my heart never left Christian. Even though I knew not once did he hint towards my side about developing a new emotion or feelings for me and he was happily married with his wife Mirah and their kids. I even heard they had two more kids to their family in just two years. Deep down I was immensely happy for them but also heartbroken that Christian couldn't be mine. I loved him not for his daring and cold self but I loved him deeply for the fact that he knew how to love. He knew what the word LOVE meant and knew how to show it. Unfortunately it wasn't for me.

Even after a leap of two years, my heart didn't want to love again. Not to anyone as it still beats for Christian Dikson which was silly on my part. He was a happily married man and it was a sin to be attracted to a married man despite myself also being married. If you ask me I didn't sign up for this marriage but had no choice as I was soon turning into a burden for my parents especially after I ended things with Christian over the phone when he was with his family in Mississippi.

Everything changed over night for me as I was in a marriage of convenience. The thought alone made me smile bitterly as I recalled my life turning into a transaction for my parents. The day when I was approached by my parents for marriage was the day my life changed. I wasn't over my heart break concerning Christian and now I was to dive into marriage submitting myself to another man that hadn't claimed my heart. But my parents had done a lot for me since I entered into their lives after they adopted me from the orphanage. They never told me anything about my adoption but I discovered the truth after I came across my adoption papers in my father's study one night.

I believed doing this and stepping into this marriage would bring peace to my parents and their responsibilities unto me. This marriage was to benefit both families. My husband belonged to the Mafia world and my father had always longed to have deep relationships with the Mafias in order to keep his sinking industries and companies afloat. My in-laws wanted a beautiful and simple woman as their daughter-in-law and apparently I fitted the criteria.

I also believed at some point that this new venture of mine will make me come out of my broken heart as I believed my husband to be a kind and wonderful man. A gentle soul but I later knew it was far from the truth as my husband was far from being gentle and kind nor did he know how to love. I was to make him change as agreement to the marriage but I knew he was far from changing his ways of being a sadist, a chauvinist, a narcissist, power driven and a high insatisable greed for money and sex.

Call it cliché but it was far from being that and that was how my heart closed up never to fall in love again as maybe I was only destined not to be loved back but to be heartbroken in return. I wasn't meant for love and my husband always made it clear to me about my importance and where I stood in his life. Nothing more than his stress reliever and a cure for his blue balls.