Romans & histoires Because I Could Not Stop For Death

Chapter 42 In life, you really have to accept that something happened because it is destined to happened, and you can't do anything about it. But for you to able to fix yourself is to accept and move on from what happened yesterday. Face tomorrow with a smile on your face and overcome your problem with a courage in your heart. The key of moving on: Acceptance. Without acceptance, we cannot find perfect composure. No words can express how much his death hurt me, No words can express how much I hate them, and No words can express how much I want to kill them.

Is this about my parents' death case? Bumuga ako ng hangin bago pinikit ang aking mata. I should not thinking about that. Yeah. Sa halip ay inalala ko na lamang si Azazel. He can do it. I know that. Sadyang kinakabahan lang talaga ako para sa kaniya. Iminulat ko ang aking mata ng maramdaman ko ang pagtigil ng sasakyan. Tumigil kami sa isang coffee shop. El Galde?

Bumuga ako ng marahas na hangin tsaka tinapik tapik ang pisnge ko. I can still drive right? END OF CHAPTER 55

“We will be together always, to infinity and beyond, until forever.” Hindi na napigilan ng luha kong tumulo. Tumango-tango ako sa kanya. Tama nga ako, he is hurt because of me. All he is wanted is to be with me but I was the one who kept on pushing him away every time I saw a vision of his death, I didn’t notice that he is also hurt that I was the one who is killing him inside.

I have faith on him. I just want to die but my body doesn't wants the idea of it, gusto ko nang mamahinga dahil hindi ko na talaga kaya ang susunod pa nilang mga atake sapalagay ko may mga bali na akong buto sa katawan ko. Nang hahayaan ko na silang lumpuhin ako ay siya namang pagkarinig ko sa sunod sunod na mga putok ng baril. *****

I waited. I waited for it to hit me but damn this car! It stopped! Patuloy pa rin sa pagtulo ang luha ko nang tumayo at pinaghahampas ang harap ng sasakyan. “Just fucking kill me!” I continue to hit it even though I’m already hurting my own hands. “Kill me now!” “Fev!” “Kill me!” “Fevianna!” I was stopped when I heard that familiar voice. It was dark already but when he got near me, that was the time I almost lost my energy.

Bumuntong hinga ako. Hanggang dito na lang. Hanggang dito na lang matatapos. Only death can finalize the moments in life it's finished nearly. I will use the words he taught to me. Under the midnight skies, the authentic feelings you had are your last dust. Some thoughts echoed across me. A quiet night was more alive and prosperous before than today. The heart of my man is like a difficult-to-be simple. I know it's dangerous because my soul crawls out from its hiding.

Pero dahil wala na akong lakas hindi ko na magawa yun hanggang sa kinapos ako ng hininga. I can almost feel death at this very moment. But then something happened.

I didn’t hear his next words. Until everything turns black

The air crackled with tension, thick and suffocating. Dahil hindi ko na kinakaya ang paligid, mabilis kong hinila ang seradura, saka walang lingon-lingon akong lumabas. Pagkaapak na pagkaapak ng isa kong paa sa labas, kusang tumulo ang kanina ko pa pinipigilan na luha. I didn't look back. I couldn't. Because deep down, I knew...